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Olympic squad of fighting grandmothers

Started by seasage, November 20, 2010, 11:25:30 am

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LaurieS

I memorized part of it.. would you like for me to recite it

luise.volta

Laurie is going to contact you by Personal Message any time now...her mind is like a steel trap!  :-X
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

LaurieS

Quote from: luise.volta on February 01, 2011, 07:16:03 pm
Laurie is going to contact you by Personal Message any time now...her mind is like a steel trap!  :-X

I already sent Pen a message. 

I really was enjoying reading that girls creative use of words... I thought now if she put any of that energy into something positive her life would probably be much nicer

luise.volta

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

LaurieS

You've got to admit her sentence structure was correct :)

luise.volta

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Pooh

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Pooh

You didn't make me cry.  I just really hate that no matter which way you go, the child will be the one to suffer the consequences.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

holliberri

I read a really good article about "long distance" grandparents a while back...

The end of it says, "No matter what, your grandchildren will KNOW you."

I thought it was powerful, and at least in my experience, true. My grandad was sick and passed away when I was 8...but the coolest thing he ever did was taught me to juggle (at 6), and he took us out to the sandbar at the beach for the first time. We didn't see him often, maybe a handful of times in the 8 years.

Those are the only two memories I have of him...but for some reason...I feel like I know everything about him based on those two experiences somehow.

I also have an aunt I've only seen 5 times in my life that insisted on sending gifts every year when we were growing up; somehow that makes me know her and feel close to her too.

The things kids remember are incredible; if the relationship definitely has to be at a distance (even "forced" distance), it can still work.  The goal you had in mind is still reached.

LaurieS

My son called (Skype) late last night.. we talked for over 2 hours.. I will remember in the future, keep it to an hour or when the conversation goes sour.  We were talking about our upcoming trip in Aug.. first he was upset because it was obvious that everyone else knew  more of the details then he does.. I said yeah well that kinda happens when you get married and start another life, you aren't as embedded in ours... then he said well, I would have liked to have done some of those things but you know my wife is like you.. hmmm like me?  I said funny I've never seen any resemblance, but oh please do enlighten me (lesson two.. never open the doors on that conversation) he went on about how like I, she demands 40' RV's, or nice hotels when traveling.. I said whoa right there.. I have never demanded luxury surroundings nor have I ever had them, so I don't know where he is coming up with that.. I informed him that I did not appreciate being compared in any manner other then having 2 boobs and wearing mascara.   I reminded him that at about her age I was hiking across the Grand Canyon, hiking Big Bend, capable of carrying a weeks worth of supplies on my back and living without a shower for the duration.  I also reminded him that he wasn't even around to know me then and that he had no place judging who I was at that point of my life much less to compare me with the "I don't do that" princess.

I am seeing a pattern here and I don't fully understand it.. My parents chose to not take part in their gc's lives, so I think my son sees that it will be ok if only her parents are active with his future children.  When I asked him if I would be Grandma Who, he said well I had a grandmother like that.  He is accepting of her "I don't do that" ways by trying to see me as that same person. I told him that he better sit up and take notice that his wife and I are nothing alike and that I felt insulted by the comparison.. and that trying to tag me to justify some of her behavior was not realistic .. then I hung up and went to bed and I slept like a baby.. have you ever heard of someone taking that angle on life.

Pen

Laurie, I have heard of people making up their own reality to fit an agenda. I wonder what your DS is thinking today after you set him straight?

Wow, a 2 hour conversation with your DS - I'm lucky to get more than 2 words in a text these days. In case I'm ever in the position of actually talking to DS via phone or Skype again, thanks for the tip re: ending the conversation after an hour.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

LaurieS

Honestly.. I'm thinking that he never really heard a word I was saying.

holliberri

Oh...Laurie, take heart. That phase might pass.

DH thought I was exactly like MIL. He said it all the time; I think we've both proven him wrong. I haven't heard that in about 3-4 years.  I never argued with him about it...it just passed.

Those old stereotypes don't help:

1. Men marry their mothers.
2. Women take after their mothers.
3. People are just closer with the girl's side of the family.
4. Behind every good man stands a good woman.
5. Men leave their families forever.

There's a ton more. I think people try really hard to get their life to fit these silly, inaccurate statements. I think if people stopped saying them, they'd stop being perpetuated.

Sorry about the Skype Convo. :(

luise.volta

Oh, Laurie...familiar stuff there. Selective listening, selective memory, denial of responsibility, rationalization and rewriting history to be a few that jumped out at me. To ague with a young adult is sometimes like arguing with a drunk. One person is present, the other isn't. Sending love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

holliberri

Quote from: luise.volta on February 03, 2011, 10:17:03 am
To ague with a young adult is sometimes like arguing with a drunk. One person is present, the other isn't.



I resent that!  >:(

;D ;D ;D