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It's nice to know I am not alone....

Started by Renet, November 06, 2010, 10:44:50 PM

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jill

Renet,
It sounds like you do have some contact with the birthday cards etc. even if they are from your granddaughter.  I actually have not had birthday cards from either of my daughters for a long time, they phone, and have given me gifts in the past.  Usually my gd will make me a card.  I have emailed my gd a few times in the last month but have had no reply, I also sent her a Halloween card with a gift certificate, but she has not thanked me.  I am assuming her mother is not letting her see the emails or the card.  It's true, I have to have a small amount of hope. ...............Jill

barelythere

Quote from: Renet on November 07, 2010, 07:13:05 PM
Oh Barelythere, I just read some of your postings and see were it was your son...  My youngest son is the child of my heart.....I could not imagine that kind of pain.....I am so sorry.......  My D and I always had a tuff time.....  But never my son......It would truly be unbearable if it were him...although when he got married almost 3 years ago he made the mistake of telling his wife I was his best friend...He told me she did not like that....I guess I can understand....  He is a mama's boy and I could care less.  I have had to step back a little because she is his life and now they have a baby..and have moved 1000 miles away to go to school...But he still calls probably 3-4 times a week....   I am so sorry again.....I think my heart is so broken because of my D. and yet your kind of pain would do me in......   I do believe my D has turned against me ever since she married....like you said, It's as if he has convinced her how bad her childhood was...  His mother is a counselor and she went to her about her childhood.... gads...is that a conflict of interest or what.....
Anyway....I am sorry for your loss.............I am very, very sorry.................hugs for you...hugs.......

Thank you, Renet, it nearly did do me in.  When you said this happened when your daughter married, I see that it happens to daughters too.  I've seen some on here and I am shocked so I know the pain your in is awful.  When your son said you were his best friend, I'm sure he meant that in the most sincere way but wives don't like that, which I guess you learned the hard way.  I'm glad he calls you. Ours did call but doesn't anymore....but when we see him, he's fine for the most part.  I'm blessed with that. 

mommydearest

Barely there, I am new here.  My son did the same......left me the day he married a very sick woman.  I have been to counseling.  Having this dil's motivation explained to me really helped at first.  But I am always back to the same reality.......I have lost my son and my grandchildren!!

luise.volta

Welcome, this is the place to bring the horror of that. No fixes here, but a lot of understanding and support. Not being alone with itvcan be a blessings in itself. Sending love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

flnavymom

I just found this site today.  My oldest son, DIL and 2 g-kids live 2 hours from me.  They are always coming up to visit the theme parks but never have come to visit me, although invited often.   The excuses are, 2yr old will not sleep in anything but his own bed........
This past week my father visited from out of state with the expressed purpose of seeing the kids and meeting his great grandsons.  My son told me they would all come if grandpa came.
Turned out they decided to go to one more park and again lied about calling to come after that.  I did not even get a call. Sometime before sunset, day over, I got a text informing me they were headed back home.
This avoiding scenario has been going on for 6 years.  Last year I told my son I will no longer visit until they make the effort to come here.  It hurts too much to have a one sided relationship.  I am not made to feel welcome when I go visit them.  My DIL stays gone the whole time stating that she wants to let me visit with my son and g-kids.
Everyone tells me to let it go. I am not stupid but I cannot help feel like my heart is breaking.

luise.volta

Welcome. The kind of thoughtless you describe is something many of us are familiar with. I'm sure you will get support here.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Nana

Flnnavy and Mommydearest

Welcome to these forum.  We are all here to support you.  Feel free to vent.  You will be hearing great advice too from many wise women.    Your stories are our stories......First thing is that we have to let go and live fully our lives, with our children, gc and inlaws or without them.  We owe it to ourselves.

Love
Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove:
Shakespeare

jill

Hi flnavymom, and mommydearest,
Welcome, there are many wise women here who will give lots of comfort and support.  Isn't it amazing how the young moms today think they are just perfect.  I am sure  you wanted to take your grandson to a theme park just for fun, did it matter that his long term memory was not formed.  Sounds like the sort of thing my dd would say.
I think sometimes the younger generation are too serious and don't have as much fun as we did.

Best wishes...................Jill

luise.volta

I have short-term memory and my kids take me places!
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama


Marilyn

I'm starting to see alot more daughters not just sons on here.

I think we have a lot of ungrateful children today!!!

They have so much in a material way..............lack so much in emotional maturity............Am i the only one that feels like this?

This generation is alot more serious,they want to raise children with high self esteem.....very important,but it's coming across as they are better,or above us.

luise.volta

There are a lot of really great young adults, too. One is taking me to day-surgery on Dec. 1, waiting for me and bringing me home..."just because."
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Marilyn

Thats awesome Luise!!!

And yes i know there are some really great young adults these days...............hmmmm,when i think of them...........what they have in common.............two sets of Grandparents......for real...........the ones I know do!!!

luise.volta

I will have to ask her. She's a grandmother herself...and very close to her mom, I know that.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

mommydearest


Yes, but not with a daughter, a son.  My son disappeared in spirit at the altar.  I am making it through, though...it has been years.  I am much better and most days I can live with it. We still see him so that's kind of a help but he isn't the same person.  I don't mean that he should not have grown up but he is now a robot.
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