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ive got her number

Started by erma, November 04, 2010, 03:16:41 PM

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LaurieS

November 05, 2010, 12:40:24 PM #30
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-4tIs00NvM&feature=related
It's 3 minutes long start is a little fuzzy.. but then it's explained.. this is the kind of stuff you learn and store in the back of your mind when your daughter is the age of mine.

luise.volta

November 05, 2010, 12:48:24 PM #31
Got it! That was wonderful! And my Chihuahua was in it!!!

(However, at 83, I have to be really careful because it often converts to the bend and crash... ;D ;D ;D)
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Pooh

November 05, 2010, 12:54:36 PM #32
Ha ha Luise!  ;D
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

LaurieS

November 05, 2010, 12:55:22 PM #33
Bend and Crash.. tooooo funny

LaurieS

November 06, 2010, 04:53:49 PM #34
Erma... just checking to see how you feel about your situation, a couple of days later.  It really is hard to not be bitter and angry, and I find myself slipping backwards at times... I was Christmas shopping this morning and realized that even now with hurt feelings, I still try to give gifts from the heart... My DIL is pretty good about letting me know if she received the gifts and her thoughts... 

Pen

November 06, 2010, 05:46:39 PM #35
It's hard to turn off that side of ourselves, isn't it? This a.m. DH & I were somewhere we used to go with DIL/DS and I, w/o even thinking, bought a certain snack for DIL that she loved. We got back to the car and DH just looked at me and shook his head. Now I'm afraid to give it to her for fear she'll think it's a passive-aggresssive message regarding those past outings together.

What to do? What to do?
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

barelythere

November 06, 2010, 05:49:23 PM #36
Quote from: Pen on November 06, 2010, 05:46:39 PM
It's hard to turn off that side of ourselves, isn't it? This a.m. DH & I were somewhere we used to go with DIL/DS and I, w/o even thinking, bought a certain snack for DIL that she loved. We got back to the car and DH just looked at me and shook his head. Now I'm afraid to give it to her for fear she'll think it's a passive-aggresssive message regarding those past outings together.

What to do? What to do?

I know what you mean but just because she is not kind doesn't mean you can't be.  Look at it that way?  Surely an act of kindness and thoughtfulness has a place in our society still?  I hope so. 

luise.volta

November 06, 2010, 05:51:14 PM #37
I would eat it.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

barelythere

November 06, 2010, 05:54:40 PM #38

Pen

November 06, 2010, 06:00:33 PM #39
Luise, you're so great!  ;D 

Now that would be passive-aggressive, a la SM's hambone from another topic, if I handed her a bag of bits and pieces. No, ladies, I'll not even open it....but darn you Luise for planting that thought in my head!  :-\
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

luise.volta

November 06, 2010, 06:03:40 PM #40
I will eat anything...walls...crow... ;D
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

barelythere

November 06, 2010, 06:05:48 PM #41
Quote from: Pen on November 06, 2010, 06:00:33 PM
Luise, you're so great!  ;D 

Now that would be passive-aggressive, a la SM's hambone from another topic, if I handed her a bag of bits and pieces. No, ladies, I'll not even open it....but darn you Luise for planting that thought in my head!  :-\

Your SM was being cruel.  No psycho name needed.

stilltryen

November 11, 2010, 01:35:24 PM #42
Does anyone else have a DIL who sets up "rules" all the time?  When she got pregnant, the rule was we couldn't tell anyone.  Then we couldn't buy anything unless she had "researched" it.  Yes, works for the car seat, which one is best in a car crash - but seriously, what research is there for a cotton crib sheet?  Where the cotton was grown?  Now the baby is due around Christmas and the new rule is that we can't buy anything "Christmasy" for the baby.  I actually was not planning on buying any, but now that it's a "RULE," I so feel like it.

And Christmas!  They live in an old house and DS complained their master bedroom was cold (they need to redo the heating at some point).  I bought them a set of those blankety, flannel kind of sheets last year.  DIL immediately noted, "I've never had anything but cotton sheets," as if I'd totally offended her.  I found out today that she gave them away almost immediately after ---- and this year they sent me a link for exactly what they want for Christmas.  Guess she doesn't want to take the risk that I might buy something that she won't like again.

I think my DIL is a wonderful person and DS appears to be happy, so hubby and I just try to stay away and leave them be.  It's less stressful, but with the baby coming up, aye, aye, aye!  The only silver lining is that DS and I chat all the time, he knows that she grew up a spoiled narcissistic person and he's trying hard to bring her around.  One time I asked something about the baby and she was incredibly snarly and rude when she responded.  I immediately changed the subject and never said another word about the baby.  So later on she's complaining to DS that "your mother never evens talks about the baby."  DS turned and said, "Do you remember when she asked about the baby and you responded with your incredibly nasty, rude comment?  Why in the world would she do that again if you can't respond with some common courtesy?"  Yay for my son, he, at least sees it and tries to reason with her.

LaurieS

November 11, 2010, 01:50:32 PM #43
Quote from: stilltryen on November 11, 2010, 01:35:24 PM
It's less stressful, but with the baby coming up, aye, aye, aye! 

That one part make me laugh.

My BIL & SIL were like this with my MIL concerning their kids.. They would send catalogs to them with exactly what they wanted my MIL to purchase.  So much for giving from the heart huh :)

New babies are tough.. I'm sure she is nervous and anxious but still that should not take away from being civil.  Your son sounds really balanced.. I think you guys are going to do just fine.... Happy Holidays

Tara

November 11, 2010, 03:34:45 PM #44
Yes Civility is so basic if we could all just practice that.

Re:  christmas presents, I would love it if my ds and dil would send me a link to what they wanted!!  Its been so difficult to buy for them.  I asked my son if he would make a wish list on amazon last year but he didn't get around to it.  .  He has everything he could want or need  and is way selective about what he owns and wears so in a way its just a exercise in futility but a ritual we practice that has some meaning.  My DIL suggested gift certificates for DS. 8) 8)

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