ive got her number

[erma]

thank you ladies, yes, a card would do, but we've been that route, and she was non commutative then too.  she too is most prompt with her foo and friends, and when anyone but ourside of the family needs anything, she goes out of her way, and i do mean OUT OF HER WAY, to do something nice for them. yes we are all to aware of whats going on. 
she is determined to hurt us. oh how i wish i could understand this. its the common courtesy thing yanno? i know for a fact she treats others differently. just not us.
my dh is excepting of everyone. he sees just the good in people, to a fault.  so when he said he didn't feel comfortable around dil, and thought she was rude and disrespectful, i just about dropped over. he never has said an unkind word of anyone! but he saw her for what she is.
i will try the rubberband thing, but this is absolutely ridicules. i don't believe any of us were brought up like that. not even her. she just acts as if its her birth right to be rude, and condescending. i am living my life for me and dh now, but having to balance on a high wire for scraps?? its insane!!!!

[luise.volta]

Well, you sure have the truth staring you in the face via DH. I think we all have to pick up our dignity sometimes and say "I'm done." Self-respect asks that of us. Maybe not always but I sure got to that place. Sending love...

[barelythere]

thank you ladies, yes, a card would do, but we've been that route, and she was non commutative then too.  she too is most prompt with her foo and friends, and when anyone but ourside of the family needs anything, she goes out of her way, and i do mean OUT OF HER WAY, to do something nice for them. yes we are all to aware of whats going on. 
she is determined to hurt us. oh how i wish i could understand this. its the common courtesy thing yanno? i know for a fact she treats others differently. just not us.
my dh is excepting of everyone. he sees just the good in people, to a fault.  so when he said he didn't feel comfortable around dil, and thought she was rude and disrespectful, i just about dropped over. he never has said an unkind word of anyone! but he saw her for what she is.
i will try the rubberband thing, but this is absolutely ridicules. i don't believe any of us were brought up like that. not even her. she just acts as if its her birth right to be rude, and condescending. i am living my life for me and dh now, but having to balance on a high wire for scraps?? its insane!!!!

[erma]

thanks luise!!   

[LaurieS]

I think I'd put the rubber band on her arm and then snap it

[luise.volta]

  , Laurie!

[LaurieS]

I know, I've got to quit thinking like that 

[erma]

 

[barelythere]

Erma,
One thing that I can beg you not to do is to do what I did for so many years.  That was trying harder and harder and harder to get a crumb.  It doesn't work.  It makes you sick and also, many DILs use that behavior to express that we are needy and clingy.  Any need we have, emergency, illness, etc., some DIL's view as our being dramatic so they ignore us.  In  my opinion, expect nothing from her or your son.  That will save you. Common courtesy would be so nice but somehow it's gone bye bye.

Case in point: we always go to our son's and DIL's who live here for Halloween to see what the kids are wearing.  We didn't go this year; we were busy.  DIL calls, "why didn't you come over?"
"We were busy and couldn't", I told her.  We really were but nowadays, seeing them no longer consumes me.  GOOD.

[Pooh]

I think I'd put the rubber band on her arm and then snap it

"Oh Snap!"

[erma]

oh snap!      yes she see's it as either guilt or being needy and clingy. neither of which we do.  yes i want them here, NO, I WILL NOT BEG!     three snapss and around the world!!   

[LaurieS]

I think I'd put the rubber band on her arm and then snap it

"Oh Snap!"

Pooh, you were doing the bend and snap.. not the same thing dear

[Pooh]

oh snap!      yes she see's it as either guilt or being needy and clingy. neither of which we do.  yes i want them here, NO, I WILL NOT BEG!     three snapss and around the world!!   

You go girl!

[Pooh]

I think I'd put the rubber band on her arm and then snap it

"Oh Snap!"

Pooh, you were doing the bend and snap.. not the same thing dear

My bad, I keep confusing those two and can't keep my mind on.......oh look...the UPS man!

[luise.volta]

What's a bend and snap?