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Snubbed before, trying again

Started by Pen, October 30, 2010, 06:42:38 pm

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Pen

Hi, everyone...boo!With all the kiddoes running around in costume, I can't help but remember when my kids were little and we made their costumes from scratch every year (loved the glue gun). They always came up with very creative ideas that we couldn't just go out and buy. Such good times!

But the real reason for this post is to express some joy and also concern (there's that pesky ambivalence again) over a re-do of an event last year that turned out to be very painful for me. Last year DS invited DH & me to an event with DIL & her FOO, then had to uninvite us because DIL informed him she didn't like us. We ended up going but sitting separately and being totally snubbed by DIL & her FOO.

This year DH & I made plans to go again, and DS invited himself and DIL along. Then he said DIL's FOO wanted to join us! It's so sweet that DS is trying to get us together again; he has Norman Rockwell visions of the whole 'famn damily' spending good times together, I guess. But, I'm a little concerned about feeling wary around them, or feeling judged by them. Time to get a mani/pedi, LOL. It'll be a start, I hope, for less awkward meetups in the future. Wish us luck!

Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

LaurieS

I'd do the mani/pedi with a big  glass of wine... Things will be fine, so have a good time and if you drink enough wine you won't even notice what the DIL and her FOO are doing.

barelythere

Quote from: Pen on October 30, 2010, 06:42:38 pm
Hi, everyone...boo!With all the kiddoes running around in costume, I can't help but remember when my kids were little and we made their costumes from scratch every year (loved the glue gun). They always came up with very creative ideas that we couldn't just go out and buy. Such good times!

But the real reason for this post is to express some joy and also concern (there's that pesky ambivalence again) over a re-do of an event last year that turned out to be very painful for me. Last year DS invited DH & me to an event with DIL & her FOO, then had to uninvite us because DIL informed him she didn't like us. We ended up going but sitting separately and being totally snubbed by DIL & her FOO.

This year DH & I made plans to go again, and DS invited himself and DIL along. Then he said DIL's FOO wanted to join us! It's so sweet that DS is trying to get us together again; he has Norman Rockwell visions of the whole 'famn damily' spending good times together, I guess. But, I'm a little concerned about feeling wary around them, or feeling judged by them. Time to get a mani/pedi, LOL. It'll be a start, I hope, for less awkward meetups in the future. Wish us luck!


Pen, that is such good news! The Fooey's want to join you!  Wonderful, knock em dead with your humor and charm.

Barbie

Pen,
I second Laurie's advice, LOL. Good luck!
Hugs.

Pen

Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

luise.volta

Know, no matter what happens, that there is a place (here) where you are not only loved, but deeply respected!  :)
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

kathleen

Let us know how it works out,

Kathleen

LaurieS

Pen, if you do not feel comfortable after the famn damily gathering, then I would explain to your son that you choose not to be put into that situation again in the future.  But you've got to love him for trying because it does sound like his intentions are true.  When is this get together scheduled?

Pen

Hi all, thanks for the input. I do wish we could spend more time with just DS & DIL, since we don't get to see them often (DIL's FOO literally sees them daily), but perhaps if "we all just get along" we'll be treated more fairly. It's healthiest to believe DS's motivation is that he wants both FOO's in his life rather than focusing on having our precious time together infringed upon by DIL's FOO. One day at a time.

I'm so grateful for this site and for all of you. These are issues that can't be discussed with family, friends or even DH (too upsetting + he's tired of it.) You'll get the play-by-play in a few weeks :D
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Nana

I agree with Laurie...with a big glass of wine.....who cares?  lol

Wish you luck Pen....keep us posted how it all went..... and about the wine hangover lol

Love
Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove:
Shakespeare

Pooh

Good luck Pen!  I truly hope things go well. 
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

luise.volta

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

cremebrulee

wishing you lots of luck....
Your there for the grand kids and no one else....

hugs
Creme

Pen

Quote from: cremebrulee on November 02, 2010, 11:17:45 am
wishing you lots of luck....
Your there for the grand kids and no one else....

hugs
Creme


OMG, Creme, do you know something I don't? (No GC yet, LOL.) Thanks for wishing me luck though, dear Creme.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

cremebrulee

Quote from: Pen on November 03, 2010, 05:47:35 pm
Quote from: cremebrulee on November 02, 2010, 11:17:45 am
wishing you lots of luck....
Your there for the grand kids and no one else....

hugs
Creme


OMG, Creme, do you know something I don't? (No GC yet, LOL.) Thanks for wishing me luck though, dear Creme.


awww Geeze, I am so so sorry Pen...
please excuse me, I tend to forget things about each member and it's so embarrassing...I thought you did have Grand kids....

just hope all works out for you....

Creme