Author Topic: daughter trouble  (Read 901 times)

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cadagi101

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daughter trouble
« on: September 24, 2010, 05:53:36 AM »
I just need a bit of you know oomp or something from WW.    I feel anxiety and down in the dumps at the moment.  I have posted here a few times re: daughter problems.  Anyhow she is 17 going on 25 she has been away at boarding school for a couple of years as she had to get away from the influences of the very basic school near us.  She has fought us all the way, blamed us , hated all the opportunities that came her way ..  she has now finished, she has had our car to take to school she has everything she needs, not desires but needs.  anyhow she came home yesterday, and tommorrow she wants to go straight into town to drive around with these old friends.    we are 58's  from town  (50min)  and apart from the friends she wants to come home late.  she has let us down before saying she will only be a few hours and came home late hit a kangaroo all the that. because she was late my dh rang her and she had a boy in the car who was saying f this and f that, well in dh heard it clearly.  This seems such trivial tripe to some of you ladies but it causes me awful worry.  My biggest worry is why.....do I question and back talk everything I say or think....  we have said she can't go in to town, she cries, say's she needs to socialize, etc etc.  I hear myself thinking poor thing don't cry, maybe it would be good to see friends!!!  maybe I'm wrong....I must be wrong ........ yes we are rotten parents from I think she is bored at home but then I think she shouldn't be.....she should be studying for the finals but she won't, I think she is so immature.  Sometimes i say to myself let her go, be home when she wants say and do what she wants be who she wants.   Can anyone relate???   

Offline Pooh

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Re: daughter trouble
« Reply #1 on: September 24, 2010, 06:43:11 AM »
Julia, I personally never let my Sons ages dictate rules.  I went with the, "As long as I am providing for you, and you are living in my home, then you will abide by my rules."  Now not to say I didn't relax with rules as they hit 20, were in college and such.  I treated them like adults, but they still had to respect house rules.

You are letting her set the rules and she is playing you like a fiddle.  You said yourself, you didn't think it was good for her to go, so don't let her.  Stick with your guns.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

barelythere

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Re: daughter trouble
« Reply #2 on: September 26, 2010, 05:21:08 AM »
Hi Julia,
You are probably not reading this but I for one tried to read what you wrote because I wanted so much to help you.  I couldn't understand what you were writing, though.  I'm so sorry.  I know you have a daughter and that she is really acting up but other than that, I couldn't follow.  I do hope all goes well with you and your child.  It hurts badly when this situation happens.  :-[

Offline Pen

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Re: daughter trouble
« Reply #3 on: September 26, 2010, 07:47:25 AM »
Julia, your daughter's situation is very serious. I wanted to be very careful about what I wrote so I took some time to think. I'm sorry; I should have at least sent a "thinking of you" post. In the meantime we've had some family issues come up and I haven't logged into the site. I hope you'll reconsider.

Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Offline Pooh

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Re: daughter trouble
« Reply #4 on: September 30, 2010, 08:23:50 AM »
So Sorry Julia.  I have been out of town since Saturday, with no wireless at the hotel and just got in late last night.  I am so sorry you are going through this.  I have not been thru this with my children, but it must be devastating, to say the least.  I am thinking of you and sending up great wishes for your family.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell