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What does it mean?

Started by Barbie, September 22, 2010, 06:44:08 AM

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Barbie

What does it mean when I ask DIL if she likes something and she'll look at it really quick with the corner of he eye and without making eye contact with me she'll say: "that's too fancy for me".

barelythere

Quote from: guest1 on September 22, 2010, 06:44:08 AM
What does it mean when I ask DIL if she likes something and she'll look at it really quick with the corner of he eye and without making eye contact with me she'll say: "that's too fancy for me".
Guest,

I don't know what it means except she sounds very insecure to me.

cremebrulee

Quote from: guest1 on September 22, 2010, 06:44:08 AM
What does it mean when I ask DIL if she likes something and she'll look at it really quick with the corner of he eye and without making eye contact with me she'll say: "that's too fancy for me".

It means she doesn't like it.....??????

I'm not understanding your question? 


Pooh

That she doesn't like it or she does but doesn't want you to think she does.  I don't mean that bad.  I am not a material person, but there were times when I was younger that I really would like to have something, but couldn't afford it.  Like a pair of named brand jeans but I could only afford off-brands.  So if my MIL pointed them out, I would say nonchalantly, "I just can't see paying that for them when I can get 3 pair for the same price."  It was the truth, but in my head, I would have loved to have owned a couple of pair.  I just didn't want her to think I couldn't afford them.  Just a thought? 

I think I would have said after that something like, "Show me something that you do like so if I am shopping for a present for you, I will get something you like."  Because now we are trying to "assume" we knew what she meant, which will get us in trouble.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Scoop

Maybe she noticed it, HATED it, but knows that you like that style and didn't want to insult you.

You simply can't know.

So don't worry about it.  Assume that she just didn't like it.

cremebrulee

Quote from: guest1 on September 22, 2010, 06:44:08 AM
What does it mean when I ask DIL if she likes something and she'll look at it really quick with the corner of he eye and without making eye contact with me she'll say: "that's too fancy for me".

guest1, why the question, what's going on?  Did something happen?

Creme

Barbie

Thank you all. Nothing new has happened. I just wonder why she never wants to make eye contact with me. I don't know if she's intimidated by me (I don't know why) or if she just isn't interested in anything about me but it happens a lot, that's just an example, I point something out to her and she'll hardly look at it and will say "It's too fancy for me" looking in the opposite direction, I'm just trying to make small talk but it's like she wants to avoid me but then she'll complain to DS that I don't talk to her. I'm just wondering of ways that I can approach her and make her feel comfortable.

cremebrulee

September 22, 2010, 10:31:21 AM #7 Last Edit: September 22, 2010, 10:37:30 AM by cremebrulee
Quote from: guest1 on September 22, 2010, 09:56:14 AM
Thank you all. Nothing new has happened. I just wonder why she never wants to make eye contact with me. I don't know if she's intimidated by me (I don't know why) or if she just isn't interested in anything about me but it happens a lot, that's just an example, I point something out to her and she'll hardly look at it and will say "It's too fancy for me" looking in the opposite direction, I'm just trying to make small talk but it's like she wants to avoid me but then she'll complain to DS that I don't talk to her. I'm just wondering of ways that I can approach her and make her feel comfortable.

stop trying so hard....and I don't mean that in an insulting way...see, when your trying hard, she sees it as a weakness...be yourself, be confident, and a bit less talkative...ask her questions but talk less....I could be wrong, but it wouldn't hurt to try it?  Her saying, it's just to fancy for me...maybe she just wants to get going? 
There could be a whole lot of reasons that do not have anything to do with you....
don't let these things bother you...see, what happens is, these things take over the soul, instead of positive things, your actually contaminating the soul and sending out negative energy.....and she feels it....

consentrate and focus on getting to know her...and when she says, that's to fancy for me, take that as new knowledge instead of an insult....ok, you just learned something new about her.....if she does the eye roll...she's maybe saying, ewwwww, that's ugly? 

yanno, once my son told me, that I try to hard and it's not me....and it isn't....before, I wouldn't think twice about things, just shrug em off...it wasn't me and she and he both, really became irritated by me.

and practice smiling a lot so it becomes your mo....it helps...smile when your talking on the phone, it comes thru like your much happier.....

have faith in your self....you ladies have so much to offer....

see, in some cases, not all, we probably rushed in way to quickly and it really didn't give them a chance to get to know us or give them a choice, by rejecting us, gives them choice....granted not a very good one....