Author Topic: Feeling really down today  (Read 604 times)

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Offline Barbie

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Feeling really down today
« on: September 06, 2010, 10:52:50 AM »
Ladies, I'm sorry to say that I'm not feeling very good today. For months things had been going great, DH and I were having fun at last and didn't let anything bother us, things even started to improve a bit with DS and DIL and we were seeing our GD more regularly.
Well, yesterday was her birthday party at the other GP's house and although this time they were not mean to us as in the past, we were ignored by some of them. The saddest part was to see our GD interact with all of them, she paid absolutely no attention to us, she looked at us but would not come near us until the end when we said goodbye she gave us a hug and a kiss. She spends much more time with them than with us, they've even taken vacations together...My heart is so broken once again. DS wants so bad for all of us to get along and be one big happy family, we would like that too more than anything, I know my DH was hurt but he does a much better job dealing with it than me. I never thought of myself as a jelous person, I never had to be but this is really killing me.

cremebrulee

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Re: Feeling really down today
« Reply #1 on: September 06, 2010, 02:14:04 PM »
Hello Guest 1....
I'm terribly sorry for the hurt your feeling right now, but it will pass...it is perfectly normal to feel abandoned, hurt and betrayed....however, could you try to think of this as a set back...for every step forward you take, there are a few steps back...and it's so true...things will happen to hurt you, it won't always be good...especially with your situation...however, in time, if you keep on this path, things will change...but it takes time, and it's going to take you to overcome this....yes, it hurts...it hurts awful...but I know you can do this...concentrate on the good moments, and put them in your mind...don't think about the time you didn't have with them, try and consentrate on the progress, don't expect any more then that, and it will get better....no expectations, don't leave yourself open to get hurt if you can....

When my son, DIL and GD come to the area to visit, they always stay longer with his dad...and it hurts...his stepmother refers to my son in public as her son, and it hurts...it does...but there is nothing I can do, but not let it eat me up....I won't let it...we can't let it....so, please understand, this is the way it's going to be for a while...but when you do have time with them, don't look for the bad...try, if you can, and worship what good you have...and try to recondition yourself to believe, that in time, this will change...just stay the way you are and concentrate on your husband....don't allow any set backs to control you....

big hugs and love
Creme
« Last Edit: September 06, 2010, 04:25:44 PM by cremebrulee »

Offline Barbie

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Re: Feeling really down today
« Reply #2 on: September 06, 2010, 05:47:56 PM »
Thanks Creme, as always, you know the right things to say. The day was still a success because we were civil to eachother, that is a plus, if we can continue to do this it's possible someday we'll get to where we want to be. As I said not everyone spoke to us but no one was mean either so  I consider that to be a step forward. I'm wondering what their thoughts are since DS warned me yesterday would determine what happens in the future. DS called me earlier as he does everyday and by the tone of his voice everything seemed to be ok. Hoping for the best.
Thank you again from the bottom of my heart.

Offline Nana

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Re: Feeling really down today
« Reply #3 on: September 07, 2010, 02:22:47 AM »
Guest 1

I am so sorry you are feeling low today.  Tomorrow the sun will shine again.   Dont worry about being jealous of the relationship your gd has with the other family.  It is only normal, we are human and have feelings.  We kind of wish things were the same way with both familities.  Not always are things equal or fair.   I have a very good and close relationship with my dil, son and grandchildren.  Sometimes I feel really sad when my gs (only four) says that he want to go with other grandmom.  I feel something in my stomach.  I even have to brush out some tears from my eyes.  I know my gc loves me very much, but the other grandmom takes care of them from monday thru thursday, only Fridays are mine all day long.   Sometimes they prefer to be with my dil's mother because they have friends in the same street.  Where I live there are no children around so they just play with me, hubby and my daughter.   I have come to the term of accepting that it doesnt matter who they love more, as long as they also love us very much (and they do). 

It is sad how people can ignore other people when all of you get together to celebrate a Birthday.  Your son should also be more attentive in seeing that you dont feel alone.  Your granddaughter is just a kid and probably feel closer to mom's family but just love her and love brings back love....we are not competing .... time will tell.  It is good that your son called as if everything was ok....it meant that he liked how things went in the party.    Be patient... you and hubby are good loving people and it will eventually pay off.  Good luck!
Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove:
Shakespeare