Author Topic: Dear Sister...  (Read 972 times)

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miss_priss

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Dear Sister...
« on: August 17, 2010, 02:04:24 PM »
So, something is eating at me today and I've thought and thought and thought about it all night last night and all day today.  My mother called me last night to chat, and tells me that my baby sister is using drugs.  Not only is she using them, she's using them incorrectly and in a dangerous way.  She's crushing narcotics (pain pills, muscle relaxers, tranquilizers, etc.) and snorting them up her nose.  I've been doing some research on it and apparently this is the new thing?  It's a similar "rush" to cocaine, but cheaper...so more people can afford it. 

My baby sister isn't a kid per say, she's 22.  She's an incredibly intelligent woman, who has always had high hopes and goals for herself.  She wants to be a criminologist.  She's been in college for 4 years now, and was working full time too.  She was fired from her job a few weeks ago, my mother thinks it was because she was "letting herself go, like most users do."  She is somewhat right when I think back on it, my sister has stopped wearing makeup, stopped doing her hair, stopped dressing nice...these things are just so uncharacteristic of her.  The last few times I've seen my sister she hasn't looked well at all, and she barely talks to me.  Again, uncharacteristic of her.  We've always been very close.  When I ask her if she's feeling ok, she tells me she's got "allergies."  I'm her sister, have been for 22 years.  I know her, and I know when she's lying too. 

I don't know what to do.  She's an adult and I don't want to "paddle her fanny," but I'm terrified for her.  I have so many friends who've died from overdoses, one of them was a very close friend and it happened when we were in high school.  She saw me go through that pain, she was just 9 years old then, just a young child.  I don't know what to say to her.  I don't know whether to throw an "intervention party" and drag her butt to rehab, or just sit back and be supportive and be there when she needs to talk.  But I'm afraid of doing nothing.  I'm afraid of the guilt that comes along with that if something were to happen to her.  I'm praying for guidance and safety for her, and praying for the right words to say to her should I ever get the chance.  But right now that's all I know to do. 

Has anyone ever faced this with a loved one?  Can anyone shed some light on what I'm supposed to do?   

cadagi101

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Re: Dear Sister...
« Reply #1 on: August 17, 2010, 04:00:42 PM »
miss priss,
please just know how much I am thinking of you today.  Thankfully I haven't been in this situation,
you poor girl words can't describe how you must be feeling.    Personally because you love her and hopefully she can see that she might accept your help if not I would  drag her butt to rehab, if she can't be helped  any other way.   Heaven forbid if something tragic did happen you can find comfort knowing you did everything you could do for your sister.   Her age can't come in to this she isn't in a responsible frame of mind.

Sunny1

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Re: Dear Sister...
« Reply #2 on: August 17, 2010, 04:32:20 PM »
       (((((HUGS))))

miss priss, I feel your pain more than you'll ever know. I have a twin sis who is an alcoholic. She's lost multiple jobs, wrecked her BMW (she's an intelligent, professional too) and nearly killed her son in that wreck too. My family has gone round and round with her. We love her dearly...I mean, come on...she's MY TWIN!! But she knows we won't condone her behavior. Ironically, my nephews father was killed in an automobile accident years ago, so sis is a single mom.

Love her unconditionally, but let her know that tough love exists and is here to stay....my nephew has all of our numbers in case of any emergency in his cell, and he's been known to use them.   :(

Orly

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Re: Dear Sister...
« Reply #3 on: August 17, 2010, 08:12:37 PM »
Oh my.  I would run, not walk to a Al-anon meeting for families.  Narc-anon too.  These organizations can direct you to resources and help to deal with your sister.  It sounds like she is on a downward spiral and you need the facts...up front and laid out for you.  Try to intervene before she is so far gone, she has to hit bottom. 

miss_priss

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Re: Dear Sister...
« Reply #4 on: August 18, 2010, 04:16:11 AM »
Thanks everyone, all very good advice.  I appreciate what you ladies do here. 

Offline Pooh

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Re: Dear Sister...
« Reply #5 on: August 18, 2010, 06:14:00 AM »
So sorry MP that you are going through this.  I have dealt with a best friend who was a drug abuser for years and was always there to support her.  But because she didn't want help, it ended up just draining me mentally and physically.  I finally had to say, "You are on your own."  She did eventually kick the habits and we are still best friends 30 years later.  She did tell me that she very much appreciated all the support I had given her during those years, but that nothing I did mattered to her at the time because she didn't want help.

I am not saying to write her off, just don't let yourself go too long trying to help her and sacrifice yourself in the process if she does not want the help.  She has to want it.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline Nana

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Re: Dear Sister...
« Reply #6 on: August 20, 2010, 12:51:53 PM »
Miss Prissy

I agree with Orly.  Anon can help you in this onc.  They are prepared and will guide you in the way you can help her.  I pray for her and your family.

Hugs
Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove:
Shakespeare