Author Topic: GIVING UP A CHILD FOR ADOPTION.  (Read 2096 times)

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catchingup

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GIVING UP A CHILD FOR ADOPTION.
« on: July 15, 2010, 11:26:27 PM »
I did not know where to share this but share I must.
A friend of mine was one of seven children when her parents divorced.Her mother was unable to financially support them so they either went to aunts or an orphanage.
When her sister was 16 she slipped out of the home to meet with her boyfriend and as a result became pregnant. Her boyfriend wanted to marry her and even went to the unmarried mothers home she was sent to in order to try and bring her home.
The baby was given up for adoption.
She eventually married and had 2 daughters but her husband ended up drinking and they divorced so she had to raise her two daughters on her own.
She constantly thought of the son she gave up. He would be going to school now etc etc.

No one in the family except her mother and aunt knew about this baby. As far as the rest of the family knew she had gone to boarding school.
When her son was 18 he wanted to meet his real mother and managed to make  contact with his biological granny.
She got a phone call from her mother telling her that her son was trying to contact her and was given his phone number. She first told her daughters about him. Her son and her set up a date to meet.

THE BEST PART: At the time she was 34 and her son wanted to meet his father. She had,had no contact with him again so went through the phone directory and eventually made contact.
The three of them met for lunch and the attraction between the father and mother rekindled. He had never married and they eventually got married and had another son.The son given up for adoption was their best man.

They have met the adoptive parents of their first son and have a good relationship with them. They had taken movies of his progress throughout his childhood in order to have a record of his life in case he made contact with his biological parents when he was grown up. Their son keeps in consant contact with them.

Such a lovely success story.
« Last Edit: July 15, 2010, 11:33:08 PM by catchingup »

Hope

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Re: GIVING UP A CHILD FOR ADOPTION.
« Reply #1 on: July 16, 2010, 05:55:21 AM »
Catchingup,
Now you did it.....I'm all choked up.  What a beautiful story on so many levels.  Thanks so much for sharing. 
Hugs, Hope

Offline luise.volta

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Re: GIVING UP A CHILD FOR ADOPTION.
« Reply #2 on: July 16, 2010, 07:29:36 AM »
Well, there's a success story if I ever heard one. Every person involved rose above the dynamics and choose love.  ;D
« Last Edit: July 24, 2010, 11:19:34 AM by luise.volta »
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

Offline elsieshaye

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Re: GIVING UP A CHILD FOR ADOPTION.
« Reply #3 on: July 24, 2010, 10:57:57 AM »
I love stories like that.  What a wonderful outcome!
This too shall pass.  All is well.

duvexy

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Re: GIVING UP A CHILD FOR ADOPTION.
« Reply #4 on: September 04, 2010, 11:47:28 AM »
When my Son was 8 years old he called the police on me and my son was taken away on the precept of abandonment.  I  was younger then, and very naive on the current laws at the time, but my Son had already had defiant and deviant behavior when he was young but he was very bright and cunning.  I was a single Mother who had been married three times and with each succession of these marriages I was beaten from house to house by my husbands.  My children, of course are still upset about my decisions and I understand there reasoning, but I have no life now that is normal with my children as they continue to use me as their catalyst for all their problems.  When I divorced my last ex husband I put a down payment on my new home, which was trailer and that was all I could afford.  I struggled immensely working in a bar and having my sister babysit while living with me to help with the children.   Well, a year had past after paying mortgage payment and I used to let my sister use my card as it was easy to have my sister help me, as she did not have a job at the time.  Well, she stole my money out of my banking account and left me with no money to pay my mortgage that month and I was not thinking clearly as I was petrified of losing my home.   I called my step dad and I told him on what had happened and made an arrangement to pay me back, as at this time my sister was heavily using drugs.  We made the appointment to go out and eat so I can get the money to keep a roof over my head and my kids.  I explained to my children to not go anywhere, because they had a tendency to go out the window and just leave without saying anything. 
I woke up the next day, on the say that was supposed to go and get the money for the house and my younger disobeyed me and took off out the window and left.  I was very frantic and scared and my older son and I went to look for him.  We knew that we have to meet with my dad so I went to go to the restaurant to get the money.
My son did come home, because I did left the door open and he called me at the restaurant and wanted me to come pick him up right then and there.  I explained that I could not, and that I would be bringing something home to eat.
Well, I got the money to pay me rent and when I got home the police were there and they arrested me for abandonment.  Child protective Services took away both of my kids and they put a bond on me of 20,000.00  :-[
This happened so long time ago that it is not funny to have to realize that my son abandoned me and then called the cops on me. 
I no longer had a car anymore as I bonded my car to get out of there, and CPS had me go through re education on how to be a parent and I finally got to see my kids once a week for an hour at best.
I had to ride a bicycle to work every day which was 8 miles there and back and I did this to keep my job.
I finally passed the CPS rules and got my sons back and then my older son moved in with my sister in another trailer since I was still upset with her, and my younger son was with me. 
My younger son, who was 8 at the time still have behavioral problems and I reached out to charter palms, and other resources and they refused to help as I did not have enough money, or my younger sons behavior was a problem to them.  My son has threatened bus drivers at school when he was young and then he continued threatening to put me in jail. 
I then realized that I was knowledgeable enough to or rich enough to meet his standards, as my son had a satiable appetite for things that he wanted.  I knew that my son was a brilliant child and was always on the principles desk and I knew my poverty I would never afford to pay to get him in college.
So, I reached out to CPS again and I gave up my Son and now he has a is a Musician and he teaches at school and his college was paid for the state as I had planned.
My relationship with my children has not progressed as we are still stuck in the blaming mode on how horrible I was to them, and now I am not able to see my grandchildren.  I made mistakes, my Mother made mistakes and I was not like this toward her or to my step dad or to my read father.
My children are cold and calculating.
I wish I could someday get forgiveness, but my son told me the other day that he even got his birth certificate changed and got me off of his birth certificate.  I cried as this pierced my heart with grief but, my son crackled with laughter over the phone and was amused to hear my cry and grovel to see my grandson and to try to pleas.  My son says he never thinks about me and he has totally pushed me aside.  All I do is cry and cry.
Well, his college was paid for, but it came with a big price.
 :(

Offline luise.volta

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Re: GIVING UP A CHILD FOR ADOPTION.
« Reply #5 on: September 04, 2010, 01:04:22 PM »
We do our best. That is all we have ever done and that is all we ever can do. We have to learn to feel and face the consequences, earned or not...and then to let go and move on. Very, very tough stuff. Sending love..
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

Sunny1

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Re: GIVING UP A CHILD FOR ADOPTION.
« Reply #6 on: September 04, 2010, 06:53:22 PM »
I did not know where to share this but share I must.
A friend of mine was one of seven children when her parents divorced.Her mother was unable to financially support them so they either went to aunts or an orphanage.
When her sister was 16 she slipped out of the home to meet with her boyfriend and as a result became pregnant. Her boyfriend wanted to marry her and even went to the unmarried mothers home she was sent to in order to try and bring her home.
The baby was given up for adoption.
She eventually married and had 2 daughters but her husband ended up drinking and they divorced so she had to raise her two daughters on her own.
She constantly thought of the son she gave up. He would be going to school now etc etc.

No one in the family except her mother and aunt knew about this baby. As far as the rest of the family knew she had gone to boarding school.
When her son was 18 he wanted to meet his real mother and managed to make  contact with his biological granny.
She got a phone call from her mother telling her that her son was trying to contact her and was given his phone number. She first told her daughters about him. Her son and her set up a date to meet.

THE BEST PART: At the time she was 34 and her son wanted to meet his father. She had,had no contact with him again so went through the phone directory and eventually made contact.
The three of them met for lunch and the attraction between the father and mother rekindled. He had never married and they eventually got married and had another son.The son given up for adoption was their best man.

They have met the adoptive parents of their first son and have a good relationship with them. They had taken movies of his progress throughout his childhood in order to have a record of his life in case he made contact with his biological parents when he was grown up. Their son keeps in consant contact with them.

Such a lovely success story.

Thank you for this wonderful story....this is the reason I love this site so much. :)

Offline luise.volta

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Re: GIVING UP A CHILD FOR ADOPTION.
« Reply #7 on: September 04, 2010, 08:47:05 PM »
Beautiful!  :)
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

Faithlooksup

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Re: GIVING UP A CHILD FOR ADOPTION.
« Reply #8 on: December 02, 2010, 07:04:00 AM »
Dear catching up, what an awesome story that miracles do happen.  I saw a movie like this on Lifetime one evening--I cried like a Baby... god has his reasons for everything.  Blessings and HUGS...Faith