Author Topic: Who should our Daughter stay with  (Read 1723 times)

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Offline stilltrying2010

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Who should our Daughter stay with
« on: June 28, 2010, 05:06:48 PM »
We will be attending a school reunion near my husbands home town.  My own family lives about 45-50 minutes away.
We are trying to figure out who to leave our 4 yr old daughter with.  We live away from ALL family & our daughter has never stayed without us.  She is fully potty trained (never accidents) but can get scared at night (although the last month has had no issues).
My husband suggested getting a hotel room & having his cousin (24yrs old) watch her.  My objections: Our daughter has never met the cousin & what is there to do in a hotel room.
We are talking about having MIL watch her.  But I have several objections: MIL & stepFIL both are HIGHLY medicated with pain killers, both have been hospitalized more than once this year, their bdrm is at opposite end of house from where our daughter would be, I am NOT comfortable with MIL having her sleep in their bed.  Also, in the past when we have visited ILs let other cousins (over 8 all boys, stay too & I am not comfortable with this).
That being said, I would rather have my own mom watch her. I know in doing this it will severly anger MIL
- what do you think??

cadagi101

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Re: Who should our Daughter stay with
« Reply #1 on: June 28, 2010, 05:47:33 PM »
Hi, we mums have all had that concern, it is a difficult decision.  If your parents or other family are only 50k's away would they come and stay the night with you?

Offline stilltrying2010

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Re: Who should our Daughter stay with
« Reply #2 on: June 28, 2010, 06:02:44 PM »
We thought about that - I am sure I could convine my mom but what would be preception be for MIL?  She's not good enough so I brought MY mother in to do it?  IDK - any MILs willing to weigh in?
Have the feeling that I'm stuck btwn the proverial rock & hard place...

cadagi101

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Re: Who should our Daughter stay with
« Reply #3 on: June 28, 2010, 06:27:49 PM »
You do need the MIL perspective on this.   I will say this though, your mother has just as much right to be with your kids as dh's.  So with thedistance maybe they don't see your little one as often.  What better reason to have them visit?

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Who should our Daughter stay with
« Reply #4 on: June 28, 2010, 07:21:47 PM »
My take...you are the mom. It's going to be trip and then a strange hotel...that's probably enough for your daughter to cope with. You mom sounds like the answer...and you have the right to seek the best answer for you and your child. Raising her is not a people-pleasing assignment.
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

Offline Pooh

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Re: Who should our Daughter stay with
« Reply #5 on: June 29, 2010, 06:44:02 AM »
I would leave her with your Mother at home so she doesn't have to cope with the trip and hotel room since this is her first time away from you and make it a romantic weekend for you and your DH.  Since you said she has never been away from you, it is high time you and DH had a weekend to yourselves.   ;D
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline stilltrying2010

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Re: Who should our Daughter stay with
« Reply #6 on: July 02, 2010, 06:30:04 AM »
I wanted to thank everyone for replying -Julia thanks for making me feel my concerns are valid.  Pooh, I like the idea of making it a whole romanitc getaway for us :).  My DH & I haven't had "the talk" yet, but I feel more confident/secure in choosing what's best for our daughter instead of what is less likely to offend my MIL (thanks Luise).  I don't know how my DH will see it but I'm sure we'll work it out.

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Who should our Daughter stay with
« Reply #7 on: July 03, 2010, 12:28:30 PM »
Good for you!  8)
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher