Author Topic: "Find the Good" Book/author recommendation  (Read 2091 times)

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Offline Pen

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"Find the Good" Book/author recommendation
« on: November 19, 2015, 06:42:04 PM »
I have to highly recommend Find the Good by Heather Lende. She is an author who writes obituaries for a small town paper in Alaska. She decided to spend time really listening to the stories and anecdotes people wanted to tell about their loved ones who had passed on. She wanted to treat every life as a wonderful journey with value, no matter who she was writing about...finding the good.

It really made me think about how I want to be remembered by my family & friends. A lot of the petty, bitter stuff I worry about just isn't that important in the long run. Big Picture: I want to be known for my kindness, love, sense of humor, compassion and creativity; lots to work on there! Small picture - I really want to clean out my garage and my closets ASAP...and keep up with my pedicures. No one will want to deal with any of those things when I'm gone, lol.

Anyway, it's a fairly quick, curiously upbeat read considering the subject matter. I've fallen in love with the author, her family, and their little town.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Offline Bamboo2

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Re: "Find the Good" Book/author recommendation
« Reply #1 on: November 19, 2015, 07:47:12 PM »
Thanks for the book recommendation, Pen.  I put a hold on the book at the library.  I'm one of those strange people who reads some of the obits in the Sunday paper, and occasionally think about how I'd like to be remembered.  When I read your small picture items, it reminded me to get rid of a couple of old journals that contain some angry posts on my frustrated moments as a mom.  Although I wrote those posts in Spanish so my kids would never understand them if they happened upon my journals  :-\ Anyway, best to purge those journals as those negative posts were just rants about moments in time, and not representative of my experience on the whole as a mom. I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to be a mother.

Love reading your posts, Pen!  Filled with wisdom, compassion, humility and humor.  As far as the pedicures go, I'm thinking of donating my body to a medical school and I doubt the med students will be looking at my toenails  ;)

Offline Pen

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Re: "Find the Good" Book/author recommendation
« Reply #2 on: November 21, 2015, 07:11:05 AM »
As the daughter of an MD and the former wife of a med student, I beg to differ...they will be looking at (& commenting on) toenails and much more! And my GM always said: Never wear panties that are held together with safety pins, because you never know when you'll get hit by a horse-drawn beer wagon (she was born in 1898.)  :D

DH insists he won't care, but I don't want my DIL/DS cursing my name as they sort through my piles of worthless belongings. I picture DIL hiring a bulldozer & dump truck to make short work of it. DS would grab his bins of Legos first, lol. Yes, we're still storing them *sigh*
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Offline Bamboo2

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Re: "Find the Good" Book/author recommendation
« Reply #3 on: November 21, 2015, 12:31:26 PM »
That made me both laugh and cringe!  Maybe toenails should be the least of my worries  :o. Hmmmm...guess it is time to go exercise and forget that extra cookie I was tempted to eat.  Gotta look good for those med students  :D

Offline Bamboo2

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Re: "Find the Good" Book/author recommendation
« Reply #4 on: December 27, 2015, 09:33:13 PM »
Hi Pen, I neglected to mention earlier that I read Find the Good just after Thankgiving; it was a lively read with vignettes about colorful characters. A friend and I are going to share messages we gained from the book.  She reminds me of you, actually, as a dear person who enlightens me with her wisdom, compassion and understanding.

I just put this together that your first husband and your father must have been in the same occupation.  Coincidence?  Not if it is like my experience.  I think I intentionally chose a husband (my first husband) in the same field as my dad to make dad happy.  Isn't it interesting that we both have different husbands now, and mine is not in the same field as my first husband.  Far from it.

Offline Pen

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Re: "Find the Good" Book/author recommendation
« Reply #5 on: December 29, 2015, 12:19:49 PM »
B, same profession, same hobbies, same vices, same arrogance, same astrological sign - I mean, the red flags were a'flyin' and I was denyin.' Lol! "New" husband is 180 degrees opposite in every way! We are very fortunate. Isn't that interesting??

So glad you loved the book. I'm busy reading my way through her entire anthology when they are available on OverDrive (free through the library.)
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Offline Bamboo2

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Re: "Find the Good" Book/author recommendation
« Reply #6 on: December 29, 2015, 04:45:07 PM »
Love that phrase about flags flyin' and firmly denyin'.  (Hmmm...DD is doing the same thing now with her BF.  Guess I can't point fingers, eh?)  A therapist I was seeing toward the end of my first marriage told me I had chosen a spouse who had qualities similar to a parent figure with whom I had unresolved issues, trying to effectively change the outcome. It made sense, and I couldn't change the outcome. My current DH is diametrically opposite to first husband in significant ways. Life is so easy with him.  A friend who I've known since high school said I'm more like my high school self now than I was during those ten years with "old" DH. I'm glad your "new" husband is so different, too. Yes, we are fortunate, and I think we had to go through that pain to get to the good place we're in today, don't you?  And after reading that book, my challenge is to "find the good" in my old DH.  It isn't the finding it that's the problem, it is the expressing it instead of the negative qualities which are usually the first things to come out of my mouth.  :-[  And I should practice finding the good in DDs BF, even if we aren't open to seeing him.

Forgive my ignorance, but what is OverDrive?

Offline Pen

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Re: "Find the Good" Book/author recommendation
« Reply #7 on: December 30, 2015, 12:16:38 PM »
OverDrive is an app for your computer, tablet, etc. All you need is a library card (or cards...I try to collect from as many libraries as possible, more options for book availability) and the app. It's great! You can stream movies, listen to audio books, read periodicals (if your library offers them) all for free with no overdue fines! When the due date comes, the app makes the item unavailable. Yay!

https://www.overdrive.com/
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Offline Bamboo2

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Re: "Find the Good" Book/author recommendation
« Reply #8 on: December 31, 2015, 09:55:01 AM »
Thanks for the link, Pen.  I perused some of the offerings and found an ebook through my library that intrigues me called The Gratitude Diaries: How a Year Looking on the Bright Side Can Transform Your Life by Janice Kaplan.  It seems to fit with the new year and my goal of looking for the good.  Have you read it?

Offline Pen

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Re: "Find the Good" Book/author recommendation
« Reply #9 on: January 01, 2016, 10:54:54 AM »
Haven't read that one, but I'm going to look for it! Thanks!
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Offline Bamboo2

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Re: "Find the Good" Book/author recommendation
« Reply #10 on: January 01, 2016, 09:22:41 PM »
Actually, there is one that looks better that I just ordered called Living in Gratitude by Angeles Arrien.  It offers wisdom from many spiritual traditions and the goal is to journal throughout an entire year and use the book as a guide, month by month.  I'm going to try it and see how it goes.  Happy New Year!

Offline Pen

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Re: "Find the Good" Book/author recommendation
« Reply #11 on: January 03, 2016, 08:35:13 AM »
Happy new year to you, too! Thanks for the recommendation. I'm looking forward to this! So glad to be walking the walk w/my WWU pals  :)
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Offline Bamboo2

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Re: "Find the Good" Book/author recommendation
« Reply #12 on: January 03, 2016, 09:24:03 AM »
You know what they say, Pen: "When the student is ready, the teacher appears."  All these touchstones from WWU have led me to this point of wanting to acknowledge my gratitude for life's abundant gifts.  So I'm ready.  Funny how when I opened my email this morning, there was a Daily OM message that addressed gratitude.  The gist was to focus more on the gift of life, as many other things we may choose to be grateful for are transient and ephemeral.  I like the idea of having my antennae up, being conscious of the people and things around me for which I'm grateful, as well as good mental and physical health, but I appreciate this author's point, too.  It reminds me of what Luise was saying recently about creating her own joy within and carrying that with her, rather than having her joy depend on other people or situations.  At least I think her philosophy was something to that effect.  Here is today's Daily OM article if you're interested. 

http://www.dailyom.com/articles/2016/51487.html