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ANOTHER BLUNDER

Started by irenic, June 03, 2010, 11:06:58 PM

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irenic

I am up, can'tsleep,I made a huge blunder today.  I talked to my grandson, his mother is still not speaking to me,
but we talked briefly about what happened, that the fight between his mom and I started over something small and
then things were said and now it is the way it is.  I then said don't say anything to your mom, I don't want her upset
with me even more.  Well he did, and she sent a scathing text, telling me that I was teaching him to lie, ok, so
I was wrong, I have been so desperate to resolve this horrid relationship, and she said grow up to me.  I tried to
call but she would not take my messages.  She refuses to talk to me except by nasty emails, ok so I was wrong,
but do I need to be chastised so harshly, my grandson is 14, not like he is a baby.
Help, I am so sorry I am hurting tonight, but I told I was sorry i was wrong and didn't mean
to hurt my grandson.

Nana

Dear Irenic:

I am so sorry you are hurting tonight.  I wish I could help you more but I can just offer you a big hug with lots of love.    Okey, you already said you were sorry.  Cant do more Irenic.    You just did what you had to do.  Apologize!    That should calm you.  A good heart is always willing to forgive.   You cannot change her heart (at least now).   

If I were you, I would distanced myself from dil and  grandson for some time.    It is not healthy for you to be in this constant pain and anxiety.    You cannot sleep because you feel anxiety, but just offer that to God and put yourself in his hands.  Believe Me!  God is always there to help us put ourselves together again. 

I also feel anxious tonight....so I am still here.  It is only that my day was so complicated and  busy that I feel like kind of excited.  (Like when our kids play so much that they couldn't fall asleep).


mAY gOD bLESS you Irenic.....I will say a prayer for you this moment.   

Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove:
Shakespeare

luise.volta

When we turn over a new leaf...we are practicing. It isn't perfect at first. Cut yourself some slack. Love yourself.

This is a predictable result of triangular communication...(getting your message to one person through another...and talking about one person to another.) Your intention was resolution but your method was deadly.

From a distance, send tons of love...tubs of love and feel it coming back to you from "somewhere." Maybe it will be from our prayers.  :) We do send compassion, you know. We all have feet of clay and we all lend a hand, help each other up and go on. Whisper to yourself..."distance heals." Think of affirmations like..."others care." Sending love...

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

luise.volta

Just my take but I think it's time to turn back in a positive direction. Hard to do, I know. You are upset and need to honestly express that. When you can...return to re-creating your life. That's where you were finding confidence. Sending love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Pen

Best wishes. I agree with Luise - you need to get back on your positive track and take care of yourself. {{{hugs}}}
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Nana

Irenic:

You sure are angry and have all the right to be.  I smiled when I read your post äbout her being horrible and nasty and wishing she would disappear from your life".  It is human to feel that way sometimes towards someone who is hurting us .  I must admit I have said the same thing about people who hurt me lol.  But I do think it is part of the grieving process.    Besides its good you said it because you vent it.  Took it out of your system.  You'll feel better.  We are all hear to listen (read) to what you have to say.    Sometimes we have to speak out and its nice having people who listen.    Now, you must continue with your life.  As Luise and penstamen said... you need now to move forward and see the positive things in life you do have.   You dont need her either.  We need to have ourselves and love ourselves and concentrate on those who love us.  Do it for you....not for her.....she does not deserve all that energy from you that is wearing you out. 
I really hope today will be better .  May God Bless You!    Another big hug!
Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove:
Shakespeare

Enough

June 05, 2010, 07:49:31 AM #6 Last Edit: June 05, 2010, 07:51:30 AM by Enough
I am very sorry for your pain, right, wrong or indifferent, hurt is hurt, and is awful to go through.

Quote from: irenic on June 04, 2010, 10:34:19 AM
My daughter is very nasty, and horrible.  I hate to utter the words but she is the cruelest and nasty person I believe I have ever known.  I am ashamed to call her my daughter, I wish I could wipe her out of my life, that I could just believe I had never given birth to her. 

If I was in a fight with my mother, and knew that this was her opinion of me, I don't think I would wish to speak to her either.  And then to find out that she had asked my child to lie to me/keep secrets; it would just confirm my own current feelings of anger. 

If this is truly how you feel, then it is time to cut the ties, find a good counselor and move on to a happier life.

Marilyn

irenic,i feel your pain,it's agonizing when we have to go thru this kind of thing.The hardest lesson for me to learn was,other peoples behaviour is about them,not me.We try to hard when it comes to the people we love,to keep a relationship.When we keep our focus on our own good thoughts,and do good things to make us happy with out them,thats when things start getting better.We can only change our self,find piece and move forward.This takes time and hard work.A good book i just read a couple of weeks ago was,the language of letting go.......by Melody Beattie.I found it on line,and could read the whole book on line.I wish i could of read it years ago.

Sending prayers,love and a hug.

luise.volta

Thanks. I will take a look at "The Language of Letting Go" by Melody Beattie, too. Sounds interesting. Sending love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

luise.volta

Irenic - Please on this site (and all other sites) take what you want and leave the rest. Sending love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

irenic

Thank you Luise, I understand totally.  I am so easily torn apart right now, feelings on my sleeve,
Today is a better day.