Author Topic: Any Thoughts?  (Read 1114 times)

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Offline jdtm

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Any Thoughts?
« on: January 30, 2014, 06:39:59 AM »
For years, our granddaughter has suffered from extreme anxiety - was on medication until three months ago.  She was also very close to an aunt (more so than either her mother or father or grandparents).  Last month her aunt passed away rather unexpectedly.  We expected our granddaughter to be devastated; instead, she has grown up, appears to be very self-confident, and shows no sign of anxiety.  At first, I thought that perhaps our granddaughter was "growing up" as a tribute to her aunt.  However, (I believe her aunt was suffering from BPD), I am wondering if her death has released our granddaughter from unreasonable expectations and/or demands.  Or is it a combination of these two thoughts?  Or perhaps something else?  Or perhaps ....   Whatever, it has been great news for us.  Any additional thoughts?

Offline Pooh

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Re: Any Thoughts?
« Reply #1 on: January 30, 2014, 09:50:44 AM »
Like you said, who knows, but it sounds like to me that something has definitely released her from her anxiety.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline Cranky Pants

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Re: Any Thoughts?
« Reply #2 on: January 30, 2014, 10:45:29 AM »
Sometimes mourning, etc, is postponed.  My mother used to sail through a crisis cool as a cucumber but 6 months later, she would process the anxiety and "go through it" then.

I would keep an eye out, just in case.

CP

Offline Margo

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Re: Any Thoughts?
« Reply #3 on: February 01, 2014, 10:26:56 AM »
Hello jdtm.  I had similar experience but felt it was disloyal to parents and grandparents to show full emotion. She will have to deal with it and it might be either a gradual experience or another crisis which forces the process. I'm with Cranky Pants on this one just be vigilant and there for her if she wants to start talking about it. Light and prayers for you.

Offline Stilllearning

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Re: Any Thoughts?
« Reply #4 on: February 02, 2014, 04:54:32 AM »
IMHO being close with someone who others think might be bipolar is like negotiating a mine field never knowing which off hand or lighthearted comment will set them off.  That is enough to cause anxiety and I can certainly understand the anxiety diminishing with the passing of that individual.  I am not saying that you should not remain vigilant because everyone who loses someone might need a little extra attention for a while.  I am just saying that her lessening of anxiety is perfectly understandable and not due to the release from unreasonable demands or expectations but due to the release from the tension of dealing with a person that was so unpredictable. 
Your mind is a garden your thoughts are the seeds
You can grow flowers or you can grow weeds.
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Offline jdtm

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Re: Any Thoughts?
« Reply #5 on: February 02, 2014, 06:34:38 AM »
Quote
I am just saying that her lessening of anxiety is perfectly understandable and not due to the release from unreasonable demands or expectations but due to the release from the tension of dealing with a person that was so unpredictable. 

stilllearning - thank you - I think you "hit the nail on the head".

Margo and Cranky  Pants - thank you for advising me to be vigilant re mourning.  She has confided that she is "crying" and has started a memorial in memory of her aunt; however, I agree that mourning does not follow a predictable path.

Pooh - yes, I agree that "something" has released her from some burden.