Author Topic: A New Year Story to make you laugh!  (Read 1146 times)

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Offline Pooh

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A New Year Story to make you laugh!
« on: January 02, 2014, 07:01:02 AM »
Ok, so I had to share about my GS's birthday party, to give everyone a laugh, and it truly put a perspective we say all the time, in the forefront.

So my Ex-MIL from Hades and Ex-FIL (that I like) were invited.  They are my GS's other Great-Grandparents.  YS had asked me beforehand if I minded if they invited them and I told him it was fine.  They were always good to my Sons and it was their party, not mine.

So here you have in the room a line-up of guests from my side.  Me and my new DH, My Mother and SF (who is my Daddy), my biological Father and my SM (whom I love her to death and so does my Mother), My Ex-MIL and Ex-FIL.  Can you say "Awkwardddddddddd".

So me and DH had kept GS so DIL and YS could go early and do things like pick up the cake, start decorating, etc.  We brought him down early to help them and who were the first guests to arrive early?  Ex-MIL/Ex-FIL.   I kid you not.  She had been there two minutes and started in on DIL.  "So that video you posted on GS's birthday at that restaurant of the staff singing to him?  Why didn't you get up and shoot from the other side of the table?  We couldn't see his face!  Wait, there isn't any coffee?  It's cold out here today...people will want coffee.  You should always have coffee when the guests are mostly older!  You're blowing up the balloons?  You should have got a helium tank......"

I was on the other side of the room putting tablecloths on, and I could hear her and see the look on my DIL's face.  I could tell she was doing everything in the world to keep her composure.  It was like I was standing there, watching from above, myself and MIL 25 years ago!  I wanted so badly to go over and confront her and tell her to lay off, but I also knew that DIL is an adult and is going to have to figure out how to deal with her as she's now stuck with her, not me.

So DIL comes and gets me about five minutes later, hissing at me, "Will you go with me to pick up the pizzas?"  I did and she unleashed on me in the car all the way there about Ex-MIL.  I told her that I totally understood and that I really wanted to come over there and jump in her face, but that I no longer had to deal with her any longer and now DIL was going to have to figure out how to.  Then I finished it with, "I look like a great MIL now huh?"  She laughed and said, "I'm gonna kiss your feet!"

This went on the entire party.  Ex-MIL was constantly saying something.  She made a total butt out of herself in front of everyone.  I kept watching my Mother and could just see the eye-rolls.  Finally, at almost the end, Ex-MIL said something in earshot of my Mother.  She said, "Oh I wish your Dad could have come.  He would have loved to have seen GS!  He looks just like him."  My Mother....my Mother....says as loud as she possibly can, "Really?  I actually think he favors Pooh's DH...you know....my favorite ever Son-In-Law that treats everyone so nicely!"

My mouth dropped and I had to run off into the kitchen because I was laughing so hard!  Ex-Mil just sat there, glaring at my Mother and my Mother just continued on her conversation she was having with the other people at the table.  Ex-MIL said nothing the rest of the party.  Then, as she's leaving, she stops at my DH, and says (changing his name), "Well Mark, it was soooo nice to see you."  Knowing good and well his name is Mike, he replies, "It's Mike."  She says, "Oh Mark, it's what?" her voice dripping with sarcasm.  DH goes, "It's Mike,  MMMMMMM-IIIIIIIII-KKKKKK-EEEEEEE".  She repeats it just like he had said it and said, "Oh, did you think you had to do that so I could hear you?"  He says, "No, I thought I had to do it that way to get it through that thick skull of yours!"

OMG!  Ex-FIL grabs her arm and drags her out the door going, "XXXXXXX, can you be any ruder today?"  He was furious at her and turned and shook my DH's hand and told him it was nice to see him.

By this time, I was about on the floor laughing and DH marches up to YS and says, "You know I love you right?  You know I would do anything in the world for you?  But if that woman ever crosses my path again, I will tell her what I think of her with every fiber of my being!"  YS just kind of grinned and said, "I know."  Then as soon as we were leaving and in the car, DH turns to me and says, "Ok, I know you told me how bad she was.  I know you told me how hard it was to deal with her over the years.  It's not that I didn't believe you, but now that I have seen it in person, bless your heart!  You're a better person than me to have put up with that!"

So my moral of the day?  A leopard doesn't change it's spots.  It just redirects them onto the next generation.
« Last Edit: January 02, 2014, 07:04:11 AM by Pooh »
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline Stilllearning

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Re: A New Year Story to make you laugh!
« Reply #1 on: January 02, 2014, 10:24:09 AM »
Oh Pooh, is there any chance I could rent your ExMIL ?  I would love it if my DIL could experience how bad it could be!!  LOL
Your mind is a garden your thoughts are the seeds
You can grow flowers or you can grow weeds.
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Offline luise.volta

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Re: A New Year Story to make you laugh!
« Reply #2 on: January 02, 2014, 10:48:04 AM »
P - That is so amazing! My DS son once told me that he has made up a little game of how long it will be before SM makes an unkind remake that clearly states that he's not acceptable...usually in a poor-me way...like, "Oh, you didn't being___?" Then she goes on from there with stuff like, "You didn't solve our computer problem the last time you were here and continues on until he escapes...(oops, leaves.) So...his game shifts to counting how many she can cram into an hour.

No wonder he thinks I walk on water!  :D :D :D

Oh, and just for fun...here are some of the people who were at my last birthday party. My "ex" and the above described sweetie, my elder deceased son's ex-wife who was also my "ex" husbands sister and my younger DS's "ex'wife, who is great friends with his now-wife.  8)
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

Offline Pooh

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Re: A New Year Story to make you laugh!
« Reply #3 on: January 02, 2014, 11:58:07 AM »
Ha ha!  Oh I forgot, my new wonderful MIL was there too!  She asked me politely who the Ex's were and I told her.  I also said, "Give it five minutes and you'll see what I appreciate you so much!"  She died laughing and I missed it, but when my Mother said what she said, my DH said his Mother covered her mouth because she started giggling.

SL, I am sure ANYONE on my side would gladly let you have her for free!
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline Pen

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Re: A New Year Story to make you laugh!
« Reply #4 on: January 02, 2014, 12:32:15 PM »
Ahh, family...

Classic story, Pooh. You should write a sit-com.

My SM has caused some hmm?? moments for 30+ years. I used to get furious but now I just have to laugh. For a smart (degrees up the whatnot) woman she can be so clueless! Her most recent jab was not including my kids in Dad's & SM's list of adult grandchildren but put them in the category of acquaintances. Then she told a big story about how she & my dad were spending Christmas all alone, sniff sniff. A couple of days after Christmas they told me her AC and GC (the "real" GC lol) had all been visiting them for days. I would have been so hurt a few years ago, but now it just cracks me up.

Arsenio is back momentarily, so can we say "Things that make you go hmm???" again? Late '80's/early 90's pop culture flashback!
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
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Offline Pooh

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Re: A New Year Story to make you laugh!
« Reply #5 on: January 02, 2014, 01:07:22 PM »
It was amazing that I could just sit and laugh at her now.  After all those years of those kind of barbs being directed at me, it was actually funny to see she hasn't changed one little bit.  I did feel bad for DIL because I knew how she felt and I wanted to jump up and be Momma Bear.  I really, really wanted to tell her, "You haven't learned anything in 25 years have you?  You criticized me constantly and now you are doing it to her.  Back off!" 

I knew it wouldn't do any good though as she never listened to me before and I was serious when I told DIL that she has to learn to deal with her.  I hate it for her, but she is the one that has to see her now and 99.9% of the time, I will not be around.

My Mother, bless her soul never said anything bad to her or my Ex-DH for 25 years.  She's just like that.  So to hear her say that and then go on like she hadn't said a word was priceless.  Now DH?  He's normally nice but that's the first time he has been around her and could hear her.  It didn't surprise me to hear him as he will protect us all with his last breath.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell