Author Topic: Having A Bad Day  (Read 12354 times)

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Offline luise.volta

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Having A Bad Day
« on: May 09, 2013, 07:03:23 PM »
If I had thought of it…I would have created a "Bad Day" category on this Forum because we all have them and we need each other when that happens. So, I hope this thread will be a kind of Welcome Mat that's out for us at those times. Thanks, LC, for the idea.  :)

My bad day is being sick and having to go on antibiotics after my 5 day vacation with DS in California last week. I have COPD and my guess is that it's from the recirculated air on the plane. There was also air pollution north of L.A. (Ventura) where we stayed plus a 6,000 acre wild fire close by and smoke.  :(

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

Offline Pooh

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Re: Having A Bad Day
« Reply #1 on: May 10, 2013, 12:43:44 PM »
Great idea LC!  Feel better soon Luise.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Having A Bad Day
« Reply #2 on: May 10, 2013, 01:12:36 PM »
Thanks. Hoping the antibiotic will kick in soon.
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

Offline nikncon

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Re: Having A Bad Day
« Reply #3 on: May 10, 2013, 02:25:03 PM »
Hop you feel better soon Luise.My bad day is arriving from our very short trip to pick up fifth wheel,load it with the necessities.Running to store for groceries,picking up essentials we had missing for camping,Driving home today in very wet weather .I' m exhausted.DH is too of course since he sets up and drives.Will I be able to do this several times this summer?? Staying home in our new house sounds good but DH loves camping and travelling.The things we do for love.:))

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Offline Keys Girl

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Re: Having A Bad Day
« Reply #4 on: May 11, 2013, 03:07:37 PM »
Hope you are feeling better, soon, Luise.

KG
"Today I will be as happy as a seagull with a french fry." Author Unknown

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Having A Bad Day
« Reply #5 on: May 11, 2013, 03:09:54 PM »
Day four on the antibiotic and I can feel it lifting. Whew! Thanks everyone.  :D
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

Offline Stilllearning

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Re: Having A Bad Day
« Reply #6 on: May 11, 2013, 06:58:35 PM »
Just a thought but maybe instead of a 'having a bad day' topic it would be nice to have a heading (like the grab bag, AC, MIL...) for "need some encouragement" where we could post something when we are having a bad day and just need someone to say something to make us feel better.  I know that whenever we post in the other sections (outside of the success stories and the grab bag) we are actually looking for someone to help us feel better but the other sections are actually looking for advice too.  Sometimes we know what we 'should' do (yes, one of those shoulds!) but we need some kind ears who will listen and say they agree.....or not??
Your mind is a garden your thoughts are the seeds
You can grow flowers or you can grow weeds.
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Offline luise.volta

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Re: Having A Bad Day
« Reply #7 on: May 11, 2013, 07:15:05 PM »
In my first post I admitted I should have had a category for this, no matter what the name. The problem is I have no idea what it would take to go back into the software and do that. My webmaster is my son, and he does it for me for free even though he's incredibly busy…and…I have just asked him to see if he can restore the post editing feature after a request was made for that. We gotta' go easy on him. When that happens (I hope) we'll give him a rest and then hit him again.  ;)
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

Offline elsieshaye

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Re: Having A Bad Day
« Reply #8 on: May 12, 2013, 07:23:57 PM »
Today started out pretty challenging.  I woke up crying, feeling sad about the estrangement between DS and myself, and trying to figure out how I'd feel if he didn't do anything for Mother's Day (like a quick post on facebook, or an email), versus if he did something vulgar or hostile (which he's done in the past for my birthday).  Felt like an absolute failure as a mother.

I wanted to just crawl back into bed and cry, but decided I needed to tell someone how I felt.  I vented to a couple of friends who know the whole saga of my son's problems and behavior over the last couple of years, and then I felt easier about letting it go.  I posted "Happy Mother's Day" on the facebook walls of all the ladies on my friends list who are moms, and then did some nice things for myself. 

Got a few nice messages from friends, and got a wonderful phone call from another friend who had issues similar to DS's when she was his age, and who was kind enough to remind me of that, and tell me about some of the horrible things she said to her mother at the time.  She reminded me that I'm doing the right thing, and that the ball was in DS's court now.  Her call was the best gift I could possibly have gotten.

Hung out with the ladies in my knit/crochet group for a couple of hours, had "beeramisu" at the pub across the street (lady fingers soaked in stout and coffee and layered with creamy mascarpone - heaven!), and spent the evening watching Batman cartoons and crocheting, lol.  I'm so grateful to this site and to my other friends, all of whom encourage me to focus on the good in my life and let the rest take care of itself.  Love you, Ladies!
This too shall pass.  All is well.

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Having A Bad Day
« Reply #9 on: May 12, 2013, 07:53:36 PM »
E - What a wonderful example of being proactive. I'm deeply touched and am sending love...
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

Offline Pooh

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Re: Having A Bad Day
« Reply #10 on: May 13, 2013, 11:27:48 AM »
So glad you had people to share your bad day with, and in doing so, made it better!
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline Pen

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Re: Having A Bad Day
« Reply #11 on: May 15, 2013, 08:02:57 AM »
Elsie, you met the challenge with flying colors. I know it's hard but it sounds like you created a good day out of a bad one. I'd not heard of a beerimisu, but it sounds heavenly.

I'm learning, with the help of everyone here at this amazing site, to acknowledge my pain and sorrow and move on. There isn't anything good in wallowing due to things I can't change. I understand feeling like a complete failure as a mother when all the years and effort you've put in amount to nothing (as it appears to us on our down days.)

My DDD threw a fit 20 min into her mother's day visit and had to return to her group home. My DS was too busy studying to visit, but he had called a few days earlier to apologize in advance for not coming over. DH & I did some gardening; playing in the dirt is curative for me, but I must admit to tearing up at times during the day.

I know it isn't all about my kids; my job is uncertain after 25 years so I'm feeling a bit like a failure in that department too. Makes me wonder what I've accomplished in all this time.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Offline Pooh

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Re: Having A Bad Day
« Reply #12 on: May 15, 2013, 08:11:35 AM »
Sorry Pen. I don't think there will not be moments for all of us, even after we accept the situation and move on, that don't creep up every once in a while.  I have mutual friends on my FB with DIL, so about once a week, my GD's face pops up because a mutual friend will comment on a picture of her. 

So even though she is 7 months old and I've never seen her in person, I actually have got to watch her grow and change. So even though it's painful when she pops up on my page, at the same time, it brings a smile to my face, so I wouldn't change a thing.  She is the spitting image of my OS.

I think what you said, is the secret to moving on.  You allow yourself a few minutes to grieve and then you move on.  I have learned to acknowledge that it hurts, and then I acknowledge that my life is blessed with tons of other things.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Having A Bad Day
« Reply #13 on: May 15, 2013, 11:25:40 AM »
Yes, Pen - we need to feel what we feel and still not get stuck there. Simple but not easy! Sending love...
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

Offline Gail

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Re: Having A Bad Day
« Reply #14 on: May 15, 2013, 11:28:55 AM »
In my first post I admitted I should have had a category for this, no matter what the name. The problem is I have no idea what it would take to go back into the software and do that. My webmaster is my son, and he does it for me for free even though he's incredibly busy…and…I have just asked him to see if he can restore the post editing feature after a request was made for that. We gotta' go easy on him. When that happens (I hope) we'll give him a rest and then hit him again.  ;)

    Hi Luise,
      I think it's fine just the way it is....   hope you are also feeling better :)   I'm new here and have shared my "lenghty" story in the opening section, forgot what it's called!

   As far as having a bad day....     it seems like these past 9 months have been hell with family issues, son's wedding, and with in-laws, not that there weren't any in the past, but I really feel like I won't get above all of this, I really feel like I'm drowning is such pain and hurt and sorrow.   Because of my illness, stress perpetuates more pain and suffering and the vicious cycle never seems to end!   So, this struggling is ongoing, daily now for over 12 years....   Sorry to sound so melodramatic, but I cannot change how truly sick I am, this is also a huge struggle with many not getting it and showing any compassion.

     My spiritual belief system is my Rock!   And, continuing to do what I can and finding things to keep me going, although, sometimes not really needing any extra because life is already too busy, but, finding enjoyment in things such as sewing, even though it may take a long time to accomplish and finish it.   And being grateful for even the smallest of blessings.

 
« Last Edit: May 16, 2013, 06:47:28 PM by luise.volta »