It's one of those days Ladies..

[Lillycache]

Between  STILL not hearing from DS2 (guess he WAS PO'd at me not going to the communion... or his is more self centered than I even imagined)   AND having my head bitten off by DS1  ( an alcoholic in active recovery) for simply asking a question..    I'm thinking that If I knew then what I know now... I wouldn't have even had any kids.   Seriously... who needs this aggravation?  It's just not been worth it.

[fangle]

I'm sorry you're feeling down LC! In my opinion, you are not responsible for what your DC do when they are adults.  They make their own choices.  Yours don't seem to be treating you very fairly, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't have allowed yourself the experience of being a Mother and having a family.  Nobody can really tell what a child will be like as an adult.  You deserve to be treated well, though.  I'm sorry that isn't happening.  I hope that you will treat yourself to something nice today if you get the chance.  Thinking of you.  (((massive hug))) xo

[Evalyn]

I just don't understand why some kids turn their backs on their loving parents. In my experience it is often the kids whose parents have done a lot for them and made sacrifices who do this. While kids with parents didn't try so hard seem to stick around. Why this is so I just don't know.

[Keys Girl]

LC, as they say in Alanon "Let go and let God".

Spring is here, go out and buy yourself some new plants, put in a great new garden that you can nurture over the coming months.

Forget about who is not happy with you for whatever reason, (that's in their heads), just go do whatever makes you happy.

KG

[luise.volta]

There's a reason we have our kids when we are young and idealistic.  I have a (deceased) friend who just loved DS and told me that she was sorry she was self-absorbed and never had any children because she would enjoyed having one like my youngest. I told her it was the luck of the draw and she would have had no such guarantee.

[Pen]

Lilly, so sorry you've been having a rough go   Please take care.

[Pooh]

I understand Lilly.  When things are really tough and rough with the adult AC, it's easy to think it would have been easier to have not had them.  Even though OS and I don't speak and have no relationship, I still wouldn't trade all the good memories and fun we had.  When we were down visiting YS this last weekend, we were dying laughing because he was bringing up childhood memories.  He would say, "Oh, do you remember when OS and I did this to Uncle XXXXX?"  And then we would relay the story to my DH and DIL, while we were both cracking up at the memories.

I would have thought it would have been hard to talk about OS like that, but it wasn't because no matter what the situation is now, I will always have those memories and those stories.  Instead of it making me sad, it actually brought a smile to my face because I realized that I had truly moved on and that those memories will always be a part of me.

I've said it before, and it has truly become my mantra this last year.  "No one defines us, we define ourselves."

[Whitney]

Sorry LC for your heartache.
There is a saying: "better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all".  If you had not been able to have kids, that would've been a heartache, as well....though you are disappointed, don't blame yourself.  Like a box of chocolates - with kids, you just never know what you're going to get!

[Lillycache]

Thanks... But I was just having a bad day...  Every so often we get that way don't we...  Things look much brighter now.

[luise.volta]

Bad days come and they go for all of us. How wonderful that we can talk about it here. Do you want to close this thread, L?

[Lillycache]

Whatever you think....you can close it or it's ok to keep it open from my standpoint..   We all have days where we want a pity party.. or just feel bleh....  Perhaps others can jot a line here when they feel that way..  Sometimes it's not even worth an entire thread... Just a sentence... HEY.... It's one of those days.. 

[luise.volta]

I should be having one. Came home from 5 days in California with a bug.  Feel fine.  Sound awful!

[luise.volta]

I think I will close this thread since you feel better. You have a good point. I'll start one just for bad days. Thanks.