Author Topic: You Say Bad News, I say Good News  (Read 1043 times)

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Offline Keys Girl

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You Say Bad News, I say Good News
« on: August 26, 2012, 06:55:41 AM »
I happened to meet some tourists yesterday, while sitting on a park bench.  Eventually we started to chat, 3 women around the same age.  We soon found out that the 3 of us each had at least 1 adult son who had "divorced" his mother or his entire family.

We talked about the difficulties of talking to people about this who didn't understand or or some who had those "perfect, perfect" lives and who cast disdain our way.  We talked about how Christmas is such a difficult time for us and  eventually we came to the conclusion that it's best to say "No, I don't haven any children" or "I have (one fewer) children".  It's not a good topic of conversation unless you happen to meet two other woman who have walked the path we are on, as I fortunately did yesterday.

One of the women said that her son married a controlling, woman who wouldn't let her see the grandchildren, and shut the door on her.  Five years later, he phoned her to say "Mom, I've got some bad news, I'm getting a divorce".......and I knew before the words came out of her mouth that she would say "Oh, that's not bad news, it's GREAT news".  And we both roared with laughter.  She agreed to meet him for coffee and they are slowly repairing their relationship.

We are going to keep in touch, that's what email is for!

KG
"Today I will be as happy as a seagull with a french fry." Author Unknown

Offline Doe

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Re: You Say Bad News, I say Good News
« Reply #1 on: August 26, 2012, 07:18:47 AM »
lol, Keys - priceless!

Offline Pooh

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Re: You Say Bad News, I say Good News
« Reply #2 on: August 27, 2012, 05:55:05 AM »
That's great KG to meet people, in person that understand and relate.  I know I love our cyber family here, but sometimes it's very weird around me to not hear of estrangements amongst the people you know in real life.  I do think they are around me, I just think they don't talk about it out of embarrassment, hurt or something else and would prefer to make their lives seem perfect.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline Keys Girl

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Re: You Say Bad News, I say Good News
« Reply #3 on: August 27, 2012, 03:32:08 PM »
Pooh, it was really great.  I'm like you, I love this community but it was so great to meet people like me in person, I certainly had a feeling that we were kin.  We had so much in common, and the continuing struggle to try to either adjust to the pain of not seeing grandchildren (which I don't have), the background of two of us who left husbands who were having a love affair with the bottom of a whiskey bottle and one of us who was widowed at an early age.  Her son never got along with his father, and after he died, he turned his hostility towards her because the object of his hostility was gone and cut off every single member of her family, including his uncle who had been close to him from a very early age.

We spent almost two hours on that bench (reminding me of Forest Gump's bench), and at one point an individual who had a food truck nearby, came over with 3 plates that he asked us to eat because he was closing up and didn't want to waste it.  It was an unexpected bonus and very kind.

I'm sure we'll keep in touch and maybe even visit each other despite the 5 hour drive.  I felt like I had known these women for years, and in a way I had.  All three of us have had to deal with struggles we never expected, especially the loss of access to sons or grandchildren.

Some times I envy my grandmother.  She would have been like a thundering water buffalo if anyone had tried to keep her from seeing me.  Bones would have been broken, if necessary, I'm sure, but she had that "stink eye" that Queen Elizabeth has for anyone foolish enough to stand in her way.  She also had the ability to intimidate every member of her family.  They grumped about her while she was alive but when she died unexpectedly at at early age, the who family was devastated.

I don't know if it's feasible, but perhaps some day we could have a WWU reunion, with the distances involved and the costs, I'm not sure how it could be done, but I'm sure there would be a lot of laughter and hugs.

KG
"Today I will be as happy as a seagull with a french fry." Author Unknown

Offline Footloose

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Re: You Say Bad News, I say Good News
« Reply #4 on: August 28, 2012, 09:33:47 AM »
A WWU reunion or meet and great would be WONDERFUL!  I welcome any of you to contact me should u be in the Atl GA area!  I'd love to give u an in person HUG!