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Loss of a loved one

Started by themuffin, August 01, 2012, 11:40:09 AM

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themuffin

August 01, 2012, 11:40:09 AM Last Edit: August 02, 2012, 11:17:25 AM by luise.volta

Sad but good story-
I recently lost my beloved furbaby suddenly after a dental cleaning. He was a cat that I hand raised.  Literally made him bottles and fed him at 2 am.  He was a furry son to me and truth be told, I'm still not coping well. This was last Friday.  I texted DS that he died.  He called me immediately to make sure I was okay.  Everyone knows how I loved that cat.  Sat. we took him for a necropsy. Sat. afternoon DS, FDIL and GB came by to visit.  They stayed until 11:30 pm.  They stayed that long to be there for me.  It was one of the kindest things that FDIL could have done for me.  It made me hope that someday I could perhaps convince her that I would like to be there for her just as she was there for me.  Yep.....a solid 9, heck....maybe even a 10. ;D

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Didi.lost

Muffin so very sorry to hear about your recent loss.  I'm glad you had support during that time and now you have our support.  Please take care of yourself.

Sending Lots of love

themuffin

Didi.lost.....thank you for those kind words of support and comfort.  I feel almost silly writing that I think I may need counseling.  I'm not really coping with the sudden lost very well....Anyhoo...I suppose it will pass, but thanks again...Hugs

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luise.volta

A little over a year ago when my ancient Chihuahua, Me, Too, was at the end, a member here, Laurie, stayed up all night lovingly supporting me. Me, Too was my closest friend because he lived here. Val was still cogent enough to decide with me that it was time to let him go. My heart goes out to you, Muffin. No one knows the depth of love that can occur between a human and a bet...unless they've been there. I'm so sorry.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Doe

Muffin,

I'm so sorry that you lost your buddy.  I knew a woman on a Scottie list once who would go out and light a lantern in the yard to light the way toward the rainbow bridge when one of our Scotties passed.   I'm not good with rituals but that always touched me.  I'm happy for you that you got support from your DS/FDIL.

A couple of years ago, my husband and I helped a family ease their dog out of a painful existence.  The vet came to his house to do the deed and I held the dog as he passed.  I swear the being moved up and out and past me into the crab apple tree behind me.  I didn't expect that - he stayed there for a while, till the owner came home and he was able to say goodbye, I guess.  Or rather, my attention went to that tree every time I passed till the owner came back to say goodbye.



Pooh

I'm so sorry Muffin.  It's so tough to loss a beloved pet as they are family members to us that never judge and give unconditional love.  The good side of this is that you got the same thing from DS/DIL/GB too when you needed it most. 
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

SCW

Dearest Muffin,
I am so very sorry for the loss of such a lovely companion.

We held out Peeke 7 years ago as he passed this life, and we still grieve for him from time to time.  His ashes, collar and photo grace our china cabinet to this day.

They are such wonderful blessings in our lives, as they ask nothing but food and love.

Gizmo got me through some very very tough times, medically, by my side, as soon as he knew I was better, he knew it was his time to go. 

So comforting that you had family to help you through it without judgement.
We also deem those happy, who from the experience of life, have learned to bear its ills and without descanting on their weight.
Junvenal

themuffin

Thank you WW.  I can't even express how it feels to read your words of support regarding my furbaby.  It feels like a hug..

Luise, I remember when you shared with us the loss of your baby.  I remember looking down at Fudge, my cocker spaniel and wondering how I would be able to cope with the pain I knew you were feeling, when he goes over the bridge. I can't even think about it.

Doe, your story touched my heart and gave me chills and hope at the same time.  I'd like to think of Monster as being happy at the Rainbow Bridge.  Thanks for sharing that.

Dear Pooh, you are so right about them being family members.  I thought of him as a son, a little small furry son that I adopted at birth.  I knew he would someday leave me, but this was so sudden. Thanks for the kind words.

Hello SCW, so sorry that you had to say goodbye to Gizmo (love that name!).  Seven years...that's a long time. However, I suppose we will always grieve them.  It is so true that they are wonderful blessings.  They sense when we need them.  Monster was a hugging cat.  He literally would jump on your lap and wrap his front legs around your neck.   My mother never understood what I meant until he gave her one! He was so special.  I have pictures and his collar, but I'm not yet able to look at them.

My family has been a great comfort to me.  This is the closest I've felt to DS and FDIL in a very long time.  DS stopped by last night and hugged me at least three times.  I know I'm very blessed, but I miss that little Monster!

Thanks again Ladies....I really needed those kind words. 

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Pooh

It is a cyber hug  ;D

(I split your post and the ones following it to it's own topic so people would see it)
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

lancaster lady

Oh Dear its hankie time .....

I lost both dear pets in the same year , my dog was 14 and my cat 16 .Heartbreaking to say the least .
My dog had a stroke the year before she died but recovered , my cat was just old , dear pet .
My cat crawled and hid under a couch and stayed there for three days until she passed . On that day , I heard her
calling and ran to her . She came on my knee and died while I stroked her fur , yes she waited for me to say goodbye .
Oh my goodness , what sadness .
My dog , had another stroke and died in her sleep . They both rest in my garden .
After that I was so sad , I didn't realise how much their loss affected me until I decided to get another dog .
The cloud lifted and we have another rascal !
It's hard to live without pets once you have had them , true devotion and unconditional love , all for food , water , walks
and hugs ....cheap at the price ....<3

sending sloppy kisses for you dear Muffin from my furry rascal ....

themuffin

August 02, 2012, 01:09:52 PM #10 Last Edit: August 02, 2012, 01:20:33 PM by luise.volta
Awwww.....Thanks Pooh...It was nice of you to seperate the two threads. :)  I really appreciate you! ;D

Dearest LL...Two furbabies in one year.... :( It seems unbearable.  You were right about it being hankie time. So sorry about your dog.  Fudge is our first dog ever and we know he's a dog but we consider him a hairy five year old boy. A part of me wishes we never got him because I don't know how I'm going to cope when that time comes.  :(

The part about your cat really got the tears flowing. Monster was only 10 and died shortly after a dental cleaning. The very next day after the cleaning he had a temp of 105.5.  I took him back to the vet and he said he'd keep him for a couple of days give him an antibiotic and fluids.  It never crossed my mind that he would die...And it certainly never crossed my mind that he would die alone, in a cage in a unfamilar place.  I'm so glad that you got to say goodbye.....I didn't get that chance.  They found him dead the next morning.  I was the only mommy he knew and I can't help but wonder what he was thinking as he slipped away. Did he wonder where I was? It hurts me that he died, but it hurts even more that he died alone.  I'm riddled with guilt about that. Yet, I know I had no way of knowing.

Thank you for the sloppy kisses...sending you sloppy kisses and hugs as well....

This seems so off topic for this forum. I'm sorry....Please feel free to move it or close it.  Thanks to all of you wonderful and compassionate women.  You've no idea how much help you've given me since I found this place.

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luise.volta

Muffin - This forum is about our lives...the ups and the downs. It's about being heard and understood and supported. Loss is a very consistent part of that and is very "on-topic." Sending love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

themuffin

Thank you, Luise...for everything...

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luise.volta

When I lost "Me, Too," our precious Chihuahua that graced our lives for 13 years...I thought I would lose my mind.  I took all of his things over to our campus Thrift Store that could be used and put the rest in our dumpster because I couldn't stand to have them here in this empty house. I wept uncontrollably and wailed and yelled and tried to calm down by doing meditation and prayers. I tried to go to bed but at at 2:00 AM I was still so shattered that I thought I simply couldn't contain my grief and realized that I had to retrieve his old, worn out blanket. So, a little after 2:00 AM...I went back to the dumpster carrying my step ladder, a small rake and a flash light. It had just been emptied and his blanket was way down on the bottom of that huge dumpster. You have to know I was on the lookout for our campus Security patrol because I probably would have been locked up had I been intercepted. At the top of the step ladder I realized that I would have to hang my body over the edge and the lower myself down into it head first to get to the blanket with my rake....knowing that getting back up, backwards, would be pretty iffy and I could easily fall in during the process...with no way to get out. 

I made it and I got back home without being found out. I lay across my bed with Me,Too's blanket...and slept. That was a year and a half ago and that blanket is still under my pillow every night.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

themuffin

))))))))Hugs(((((((( Luise....

:( :(  I don't even know what to reply to that heartfelt response.    :( :(  I visualized the entire scene as you described it and I can only imagine the emotion that guided you to do all that for "Me, too".  13 years is a blessing, but yet not long enough.  I'm so glad you shared that as it helps me with what I must do.  I had a picture of him on my desk at work, I had to remove it.  I have not moved any of this things, not his bed, food dish or treats.  When I picked him up they gave him to me in a small cardborad box that something else had been shipped in.  When I got in the car I opened that box with trembling hands.  There he was.  God was good.  He was cool to the touch but he was not stiff.  His face was kinda tucked under his paw and I didn't look at it...I couldn't.  I stroked his fur, told him I loved him and removed the black collar that he's worn for the last five years.  That collar is still in the car.  I cannot look at it.  I feel a little better some days, but not good.  I'm actually feeling ill, but I'm sure it's just the stress of all of this.

I've been depressed and yesterday I came home to a nice suprise.  YDS and FDIL #2 had cleaned up the house.  FDIL #2 said she thought it would cheer me up and she didn't like to see me sad.  It did cheer me up and the gesture alone truly touched my heart.

Luise, do you believe our babies are at the Rainbow Bridge?  I need to believe that....I really do.

Sending love to you, "Me, Too" and Monster

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