Author Topic: What's wrong with me...not thrilled being a grandma  (Read 7989 times)

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Offline Camelot

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Re: What's wrong with me...not thrilled being a grandma
« Reply #15 on: July 31, 2012, 05:57:16 PM »
Well, I took the plunge and had that chat last night with my son. I feel so much better now that he knows (not necessarily understands) how I've been feeling. I suppose it's flattering to think my children don't see me as an older woman, but as I was twenty years ago. Took 3-year old to TumbleTots this morning, a little kids' play-gym. I am exhausted, but it was a total success, and she didn't say 'No!" to me once.

Thank you for your reassuring words.

Offline Grammie

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Re: What's wrong with me...not thrilled being a grandma
« Reply #16 on: July 31, 2012, 08:06:57 PM »
Camelot I feel your pain!  Caring for someone else's children can certainly be a challenge.  I'm 59 and had my 17 year old niece for two weeks.  She wore me out!   I hope all works out and your son is respectful of your boundaries.  Best of luck to you.
Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable, and remove yourself from the unacceptable.   
 ~ Denis Waitley ~

Offline Pooh

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Re: What's wrong with me...not thrilled being a grandma
« Reply #17 on: August 01, 2012, 06:16:35 AM »
That's great Camelot!  I think many times, just getting the opportunity to tell the other person how we feel, right or wrong, takes a big weight off of us.  He may not have understood, but he listened.  That's huge!  I've said it before, but I see over and over in the stories here where one of the biggest issues in being to able to move on is that the person never got the opportunity to be heard.  So it festers like a boil because we feel we didn't get to tell our side to the party.

Success!
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline Purple Eyes

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Re: What's wrong with me...not thrilled being a grandma
« Reply #18 on: August 01, 2012, 08:16:33 PM »
Great story, Camelot!  You can tell that you are a writer, I could just envision you trying to hide the look of horror on your face while your little monsters, I mean GKs, poured milk on the the floor or pull the cat's tail!  I can also imagine that it would be hard to be thrust into the lives of older grandchildren who are already rather set in their ways.  Hope things continue to improve.

As for my little eight month old GD, I spent the day with just her and my daughter recently, shopping and relaxing.  I still don't have that goochy goo granny attitude, but the GD is certainly entertaining, and already I can tell that she is going to be just like her mother, strong willed and bright, with a sharp wit and biting sense of humor.  Lord help my daughter!  :)

Pooh, one theme I notice here and amongst my friends is that we kind of lose ourselves as we age/become grandparents, rather than experiencing the freedom that we thought we would have when the kids leave home.  This community helps us find ourselves again.  At least it has helped me, in many ways.

Offline Camelot

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Re: What's wrong with me...not thrilled being a grandma
« Reply #19 on: August 01, 2012, 10:48:40 PM »
They are not really that kind of naughty child, but just incredibly cold and rude to me (and to my son). Dealing with a naughty child - in the conventional use of the term - would be easier, I think.

And I shared a house with my daughter when her children were small (who are now adults and parents themselves). I enjoyed them very much, but that was twenty years ago. I've moved on...

Offline themuffin

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Re: What's wrong with me...not thrilled being a grandma
« Reply #20 on: August 02, 2012, 10:23:28 AM »
I never was interested in being a grandmother. Nice kids…who grew up to be marvelous men. I don't think we're  all stamped out of the same mold…and that's OK with me. My elder DS and my DIL asked if I would take them if something happened to them, and I said no way. It's OK in my family to be how you are…which is lucky!  ;)

OMG!!!!  This tickled me silly!!!!  "And I said no way".  LOL ;D ;D ;D  That's the first time I've laughed since my kitty went over the bridge! THANKS!!!

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Offline luise.volta

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Re: What's wrong with me...not thrilled being a grandma
« Reply #21 on: August 02, 2012, 11:56:25 AM »
  8) 8) 8)
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

Offline justanoldgrandma

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Re: What's wrong with me...not thrilled being a grandma
« Reply #22 on: August 20, 2012, 04:50:21 PM »
Purple, that's so ironic bc before I read your post, I posted about being so lonely and missing the gc after a few days' care of them! 

If I were working as I did when I raised my children and had a very busy life as you do, I doubt I would be w the gc as prolonged a time and be so sad when they left.  If fact, if dh and i weren't retired, we couldn't take the kids for a few days.....and our visits would be short and infrequent.  Then the gc would be as we were to our gp's.....little ones to enjoy but not to obsess over!  It's the long visits where I really get attached.

I think your relationship is just fine.  I'm glad you and the other gps get along; my ILs spoil the gc more w gifts and no rules so I admit I get envious at times but the gc know we all love them and fortunately we all get along.  I'm glad your dd really doesn't worry about the gps!  I didn't either when I raised my kids!  Much too busy to fret and that's a good thing.

I think you are just fine the way you are.  Forget about those gushing gps!  Bet there are times when it's not so rosy!  You are a person in your own right and I, as in my post, realize I need some other important activities/interests in my life!

Offline Pooh

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Re: What's wrong with me...not thrilled being a grandma
« Reply #23 on: August 21, 2012, 06:25:18 AM »
As for my little eight month old GD, I spent the day with just her and my daughter recently, shopping and relaxing.  I still don't have that goochy goo granny attitude, but the GD is certainly entertaining, and already I can tell that she is going to be just like her mother, strong willed and bright, with a sharp wit and biting sense of humor.  Lord help my daughter!  :)

Perfect timing!  I was just laughing about one of those funny sayings that someone posted on FB.  It said: "My children inherited my warped sense of humor and sarcasm.  I don't know if I should be PROUD or SCARED!"
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell