Should I go or should I stay?

[nikncon]

Hello my friends.I would like your opinion.My DS is in his first fitness competition in August.Not my cup of tea but he is health nut and works very hard to be in great shape.He also has a teaching position.DS calls me at least twice  a week to chat and visited us two weekends ago.If you recall I was hurt when he had surgery last Nov. and didn't want me there.So we were in Fl.Got updates daily from friends and now ex fiance.DS says that he may only be on stage for ten minutes on one day and ten the next.I booked a motel for a few nights to go cheer him on.I am only family he has.DSF also.DS now says that it will cost us too much.Motel gas since it's threehours away,meals entrance to event which is over one hundred dollars a piece.I want to be there though it is very expensive.I gave DS a small amount of money to sponsor him.DS has quite a lot of sponsors as he is well liked bu a lot of people.I am proud of his achievements.I assume other competitors will have family there.DS thinks that it's too expensive and that it will be aired on Pay Per View and we can watch it from home.Should I ignore his wishes or tell DS that we want to be there for him at the event even if it's expensive? Anxious to hear your replies.

[jdtm]

DS thinks that it's too expensive and that it will be aired on Pay Per View and we can watch it from home.

This is my vote.  You can still "be there for him" at your home. 

[Beth 2011]

I agree with jdtm,  I would get the popcorn ready and root for him at home. 

[lancaster lady]

as you have already booked motel , will you lose money if you cancel?
Perhaps he feels he's costed you enough with sponsor money etc , and feels guilty at all the expense .
I'm sure he will have lots of friends there to cheer him on .
I think it's a case of , 'I'm all grown up Mom , I can do this myself ' .
You can cheer lead from home , he'll love you just the same ...

[Doe]

I'm on board with the others -  Ignoring someone's wishes doesn't always foster goodwill. But definitely watch on PPV!

[nikncon]

Thanks for the helpful advice.DS is 36 not a baby.I can cancel the motel room now and won't pay anything.I guess that I always that because he lost both his DF and DB I try to overcompensate.I know that exGF's family will be there.I just wanted to be there for him.It is very expensive.The tickets to go to the two days would be $100 each which is outrageous.I guess that it PPV  for this mom.

[luise.volta]

I get that since DS doesn't see your attendance as mandatory or forbidden, that it's up to you. We all spend money the way we want to. One person's necessity is another person's luxury and visa versa. I wouldn't go if fitness competition wasn't my thing...and would if it was. But that's just me. Sending love...

[nikncon]

Thanks Luise.Body building and fitness are not exactly my niche.Heck getting on my new treadmill will be enough .All those  muscles and hard bodies is not my thingTelevision,and a small bowl of chips to watch the evemt is more my speed.Hugs!!

[luise.volta]

  Good going!

[Pooh]

I'm with Luise since it sounds like it's not that he doesn't want you there, he's just worried about the expense?  I think if his wishes are that you not attend because he didn't want you to, then definately I wouldn't go.  If he doesn't mind you being there but just doesn't want you to go to so much expense and trouble, then it's just totally up to you if you want to go.

I was in the same boat with YS when he graduated his advanced training.  We spend almost $1800 between plane tickets, food and lodging for a 30 minute ceremony for 12 guys...Lol.  He told me not to worry about it either because that was alot of money and he would be home in about a week after it was over anyway.  It came down to DH and I wanted to go.  We wanted to be there, so we went.

[firelight]

I'm with luise and Pooh.  To thyself be true, nik.   

[nikncon]

Thank you wise women for all the suggestions.I spoke to DS about it again.He says that we won't even be near him at the competion as contestants are in an area far from the crowd.I suggested that Iwould order the show on PPV which is abouit $60.We can watch it with DS when he visits and he can explain the rules etc as we watch it together.DS liked that idea.So do I.

[Pen]

Enjoy your PPV w/DS This arrangement will be much more fun for you & DS, I reckon.