Author Topic: feel stupid and unreasonable but mind wont stop working overtime!  (Read 14215 times)

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jill1963

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hi,

i feel extremely silly about this  :( my YDD told us earlier on this month that we were unlikely to have my GS to stay for our usual weekend as they were unhappy with his behaviour.
Thats fair enough their call, however now i find myself feeling jealous because i think the other GP's may be having him for the weekend because of something on Facebook.

I cant ask my DD direct cos she is likely to get angry with me, but now i am torturing myself thinking about it.... but i know i am being silly, she probably only went over to visit!!
why can't i stop thinking about it, even if GS is staying with them its up to them but it keeps going round and round in my mind  :( :-[
How do i stop?
Jill

Offline lancaster lady

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Re: feel stupid and unreasonable but mind wont stop working overtime!
« Reply #1 on: June 09, 2012, 02:11:24 PM »
Hey Jill ,

Happens to me all the time , I just make sure that when I do see my GD , we have one to one fun !
Don't forget they are GP's too , and might feel the same when you have your GS .
Another thing ...hide all messages on FB , it's a killer !
We read into things that are not there , and make stories out of the things that are .
Occupy that mind , by keeping busy , mentally and physically , run a mile if you have to ....you'll see him soon .. :)

Offline Doe

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Re: feel stupid and unreasonable but mind wont stop working overtime!
« Reply #2 on: June 09, 2012, 02:44:47 PM »


hide all messages on FB , it's a killer !

Yup

Occupy that mind , by keeping busy , mentally and physically , run a mile if you have to ....you'll see him soon .. :)
more yup

I totally agree with LL. 

Offline constantmargaret

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Re: feel stupid and unreasonable but mind wont stop working overtime!
« Reply #3 on: June 09, 2012, 06:23:24 PM »
 It's normal to feel upset. How you stop is by distracting yourself.

It's like tearing your eyes off a train wreck, but you can do it. Knowing when it's time to get off the computer is my biggest challenge, but when I succeed, I feel better.

My personal strategies....

Watch reruns of Frasier
Watch reruns of Dick Van Dyke show
Read a good book
Dream build
Work in my shop
Play music

You can do it.


Offline luise.volta

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Re: feel stupid and unreasonable but mind wont stop working overtime!
« Reply #4 on: June 09, 2012, 07:04:02 PM »
I agree about Facebook. Don't go there…go play someplace. Nice list of suggestions, CM. Sending love...
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

Offline Lillycache

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Re: feel stupid and unreasonable but mind wont stop working overtime!
« Reply #5 on: June 11, 2012, 10:15:48 AM »
Facebook...... boy oh boy has it ever torn apart families.    I was new to FB 2 years ago, so you might say I came late to the party.  I was excited that I was able to open a FB page and profile, and invite people to be FB friends.  I made the mistake of sending DIL a friend request!   Remember, at that time I had no idea how much she detested me.  None what-so-ever!  I thought FB would be a great way to stay in touch and see pics of the GSs and hear about what they were doing.  I had no idea that sending DIL a friend request was a HUGE intrusion.  Well, when she didn't accept my request I asked why?  I thought she over looked it.  Boy was I wrong!!  I guess I just did it so I could SPY on her?  Take my word for it... she's not that interesting!  lol!!    Anyway,  It was the beginning of the end.

Offline luise.volta

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Re: feel stupid and unreasonable but mind wont stop working overtime!
« Reply #6 on: June 11, 2012, 10:20:26 AM »
That is so sad. And if it hadn't happened that way, it was probably only a matter of time. Sending love...
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

Offline Pooh

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Re: feel stupid and unreasonable but mind wont stop working overtime!
« Reply #7 on: June 11, 2012, 12:06:01 PM »
Yep, I'm with Luise, if it wasn't FB, it would have been something else with people like that. 

I told my FDIL that I wanted to send her Mother a friend request, but that I hadn't because I didn't want her to think I was being intrusive.  Her Mother posts on her FB quite a bit.  I didn't know if I should or shouldn't because here I am, with her DD living in my home so I wanted her Mother to know that she was welcome at our house and in our lives.  So I told FDIL my dilemma and told her that I didn't want her Mom to think I didn't want to meet her or get to know her, but also didn't want her to think she had to if she had no interest.  FDIL just kind of laughed and said, "Well she makes comments all the time about the stuff you and DH put on my FB and says that you guys must be a hoot because she just sits and laughs when she reads what you guys put."

The next morning, I got a friend request from her.  I'm not sure if FDIL told her what I said and let her know that I wanted to but didn't want to seem like I was barging in, but that would be my guess.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline Footloose

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Re: feel stupid and unreasonable but mind wont stop working overtime!
« Reply #8 on: June 11, 2012, 12:44:34 PM »
Oh NO!  Don't get ME started on FB!  LOL! 
I fired them some time ago.  Pooh, be careful!  DIL's mom may use your page as a way to spy on her DD. I have seen FB hurt so many, to include me so I had to get off and stay off. 

Just me but do be careful dear one!

Hugs to Jill and hopes you don't get the FB virus too!  it does hurt!

Offline lancaster lady

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Re: feel stupid and unreasonable but mind wont stop working overtime!
« Reply #9 on: June 11, 2012, 01:31:30 PM »
My DIL's DM was a FB book buddy of mine till WW3 , then I was deleted from all her family ....
I reckon what I don't know can't hurt me , and unless something is posted on my page to me
I don't look anywhere else .
Once bitten , and all that .....

Offline Lillycache

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Re: feel stupid and unreasonable but mind wont stop working overtime!
« Reply #10 on: June 11, 2012, 01:39:39 PM »
My DIL even went so far as to have my DS defriend her from HIS FB page so that I wouldn't be able to see her page.  What the heck is it she does that is so important to keep from me?  lol!!!  I truely have no interest in her personal life or her FOO...  I just thought it a nice way to see pics and keep up with what my GKs are doing... kind of like being kept in the loop.   Instead she made it all about her...  Typical..

Offline Pooh

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Re: feel stupid and unreasonable but mind wont stop working overtime!
« Reply #11 on: June 12, 2012, 11:01:15 AM »
Sorry, I should have been more specific.  FDIL and her Mother have a great relationship.  Her Mother lives in a different state and FDIL was welcome to go there as well but she didn't want to live in that state.  Her Mother is very nice, sense of humor and likes my Son very much.   I want to meet her and I also knew that if the tables were turned and it was my pregnant daughter, living with people I had never met, I would probably be worried to death.  I wanted her to feel comfortable that we were treating her DD well...Lol.

My DIL and her Mother, well yeah....I never liked her Mother anyway and just accepted her FR as a courtesy to DIL a couple of years ago.  After everything and when DIL deleted me off FB, yeah...I deleted her Mother!  I not scairt.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline Pooh

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Re: feel stupid and unreasonable but mind wont stop working overtime!
« Reply #12 on: June 12, 2012, 11:10:08 AM »
And this may not be the popular view around here, it's just my opinion.  I don't think FB hurts people.  I think it can be the weapon of choice that some people choose to use to hurt people.  If it wasn't FB and someone is going to treat you that way, it's going to be something else.  Email, text, blogs, gossipping to family members.  There's so many other ways to get at you if you don't have a FB.  FB was the final straw between me, DS and DIL, but it wasn't the FB that caused it, it was the lies.  FB was just a tool that exposed the lies.  Without FB, they still would have been lying.  If someone chooses to buy a gun and shoot someone, is it the gun's fault or the person?

I take responsibility for my FB.  If I don't like something, I hide it.  If I don't want to deal with someone, I hide all their statuses or delete them.  If I choose to go on someone else's page and look for things, knowing it's going to hurt me to find them...well, then that's my fault.  Yes, I'm a grandmother and I totally understand wanting to see pics of your GC.  But if you know that seeing them is going to make you feel more sad and resentful, then don't go looking for them.  You have to decide in what spirit you want to see the pics and can you just enjoy getting to see them.  Just my two cents.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline pam1

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Re: feel stupid and unreasonable but mind wont stop working overtime!
« Reply #13 on: June 12, 2012, 11:35:01 AM »
My DIL even went so far as to have my DS defriend her from HIS FB page so that I wouldn't be able to see her page.  What the heck is it she does that is so important to keep from me?  lol!!!  I truely have no interest in her personal life or her FOO...  I just thought it a nice way to see pics and keep up with what my GKs are doing... kind of like being kept in the loop.   Instead she made it all about her...  Typical..

Ok, little devils advocate here - why can't you see the pics on DS page?

The reason I say this is because I got a facebook (and for you long timers who know my ideas on it, well lets just say I have to eat crow!) and I'm careful who is on it.  I don't do anything serious and post a lot of nonsense.  (kind of like what I do here, hehe)  But seriously, I joke with my friends and family quite a bit and our sense of humor is not my MILs.  It would offend her and honestly, I'm on facebook for fun.  Not as a requirement or anything so I can't imagine my MIL thinking anything about my facebook.  It's not my work to give her, it's my play time.  But that goes for everyone, not just MIL.  I don't accept friends that I know would have a problem with my joking around and sense of humor. 

Just a though, Lilly.
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

Offline Pooh

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Re: feel stupid and unreasonable but mind wont stop working overtime!
« Reply #14 on: June 12, 2012, 12:00:36 PM »
Lol Pam.  Me too.  I had a distant friend that deleted me the other day because me and DH give each other heck on FB.  We also post mushy stuff and this girl kept putting on our stuff, "TMI, get a room, no one wants to see your lovey dovey stuff, etc."  I thought at first she was just ribbing us and then it was like it became her mission to put that on anything we wrote to each other.  So I finally wrote the other day below her "no one wants to see you two drool all over each other", "Well, that's an easy one.  It's obvious someone wants to see it or they wouldn't be reading it all the time!"  She deleted me!  Ha ha ha
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell