now how to handle this new situation

[nikncon]

I think that this a great gift.I'm sure that they will both love this practcal gift.About sleeping over just play it by ear and see how your SIL acts.Happy Mothers Day!!! Enjoy that gs.I don't have gc.Would love to have one at least.My DS has a new girlfriend who works out much as DS.She is also in Fitness competitions.Haven't met her yet.If you read my story you you will see what I went though before the holidays.

[Doe]

I love my DD and Gs so their happiness is my up most focus.

I think this is great - life is too short to do anything but try to be happy imo. 
Great gift idea, too!

[artlady]

I"m sure that if I back up too much it will cause a too much between my DD and Gs but really be what SIL probably would like but I'm the "elder " in this situation , suppose to have the mature head on my shoulders and she is my DD with my new GS. So maybe if he sees we will not be backing down he will decide to join the family life( of which he has rejected last 2 years ) of her and his families, relax and be thankful for all his blessings . Just wishful thinking but it will keep me going i hope until the next shoe falls. I fear he is the way he is so it will always be a "prickly" situation tip-toeing with him. Do any of you use Skype to communicate with your family?

[constantmargaret]

hi Art,

I use Skype to supplement my contact with my DD and GD. I live in New England and she's in Phoenix. I've seen my GD 3 or 4 times in real life since she was born 8 months ago, so I'm missing a lot. Sometimes my DD will text me and say Wanna Skype?  We set a time and comb our hair and sit down and have a virtual visit. It's really pretty incredible. You almost feel like you could reach right into the laptop and grab that baby.

When I leave on my Cross country tour, I want to set my own mother up with a computer and Skype so that we can keep in better contact with her. She's kicking and screaming about it now (about accepting technology, not about us leaving. She thinks the computer is going to blow up if she pushes the wrong button. She's 80) , but I think if she could see how it works she would feel differently. It's a very powerful tool for staying connected. I highly recommend it.

As far as your SIL goes, just try to relax around him and be yourself. Stop trying so hard to anticipate his every move. Hakuna Matata, Artlady.

[lancaster lady]

We love the Lion King !

We use windows live messenger to chat , however I need a new webcam as the last time we used it
my GD had shock when she seen my distorted face ....lol
She brings all her toys up to the screen for me to see , and you're right , I just want to reach
in and squeeze her ...

[luise.volta]

At 85, I gotta' say that if someone took my iMac away, I would just sit here all day and suck my thumb...probably with tears streaming down my face. I don't like Skype, though. I feel like I have to go comb my hair. put on some lipstick and get out of my jammies! LOL!     (I know, I know...nobody but me cares about all of that!)

[Ruth]

That is a thoughtful and perfect gift, Artlady, and I love the idea of the colors you chose.  Good wisdom going on there.  I'm not sure about the going/mailing option however, I would just feel it out as time goes by and if you don't feel a green light then just mail it with a nice card for her.  I would err on the side of not going vs. going and ticking off sil again if it were me, but if you think things are smoothing out and you could do a short visit then go for it.  Things are going in the right direction for you Artlady if you can stay the course and give SIL the space he needs to mature a little. 

[artlady]

Ruth I think I might be 6 ft under before this one matures as his avoidance of his side of family has been over 10 years , but anywhooo , I just don't' want to miss seeing DD when she wants to be with me due to him, so it is a double edge sword. I can go , enjoy DD and Gs while he is there putting my stomach in knots waiting on him to avoid or be rude to me , not a good time for me but good for DD as she has no idea ( or is keeping blinders on ). She might decide she wants some time away from home and we can take GS , go out and about without him . Who knows I've got a little time and I'll just wait and see . DH is not in favor of me going as he thinks SIL will not be kind as he has no mother to do for on Mother's day ( she died 12 years ago ) and he hates his stepmom. I'm on the fence but I'm feeling better , trying to focus on other things to keep my mind from constantly worrying about DD and GS. Thanks and hugs to all .