My Chaotic Life Update

[pam1]

I've been thinking about you too, Pooh.  I hope you all get some peace soon, you need it.

[Pooh]

Thought I would share some upbeat news, for a change.  FDIL went to baby doc yesterday and they did a first ultrasound. Found out she was not as far along as they thought, so moved her due date to Dec. 31st (New Year's baby anyone?)  She called me as soon as she was done, telling me everything and sent me 3 pics on my phone.  It's a little rice grain...Lol.   Everything looks good but they are going to transfer her to a high-risk baby doc now because they have decided not to do her brain surgery until after the rice grain is born.  Precautionary, and she'll have to have a C-section now, but she was good with it.

She tells me that because of going to a high-risk doc now, they will do an ultrasound every visit and did I want to go to her next one with her?  Awww...I loves her.  She's so sweet.

Also interesting, DIL sends FDIL a friend request on FB.  This should be priceless as her and I have been posting back and forth for months.  Since DIL/OS haven't told us about their pregnancy, and there is all kinds of happiness stuff from me and DH on FDIL's page about her pregnancy, I'm sure I just went down another notch.

[luise.volta]

You just went up another notch with us! 

[Pooh]

  You are so sweet. 

[lancaster lady]

Did she accept the request ?
Hubble , bubble , I sense fun in the making ....never a dull moment eh Pooh ?

[Pen]

Good on FDIL! She understands the situation w/DIL, right? So she won't be buying into any embellished history lessons?

[Pooh]

Yes, she accepted it and then text me going, "Uh oh".  I just laughed and told her to do what she wanted, that my history/present with DIL had nothing to do with them.  She knows everything because YS has told her since brother has been snubbing him and YS also told her about the blowups he had with DIL, so she is well armed.  LOL

[Pooh]

What's that saying?  Glutton for punishment? 

Well, here's what's been happening in my world this last couple of weeks.  YS is doing fine.  He's very tired because they are working him 16 hour days with only one day off every two weeks.  I've got to skype with him a couple of times and you can see the exhaustion in his face.  He just says, "It's fine but I'm seeing things I don't want to see."  Bless his heart.

FDIL is still a doll and texts/calls every day.  She came over last Sunday and we went baby "window shopping".  She's about funny.  We had to run DH out of the aisle of breast pumps because he wouldn't quit giggling...that man.  I noticed she looked really tired.  Past the "normal" tired of the first months of pregnancy.  I asked her if she was Ok and she said, "I'll make it."  She wouldn't elaborate so I didn't push it and just kind of moved on.

So YS skypes me a couple of days later and I can tell he's very upset.  Apparently he finally got it out of her (they skype every night and he had noticed something wrong too).  She has been living about 30 minutes away from us with her grandparents.  They have a basement apartment and that's where she has been for the last year.  What he found out was that although her granny was thrilled about the baby and been supportive, grandpa is not.  To the point that when he found out, he told her to get rid of it.  He's apparently been giving her a hard time about it and telling her that my YS is just a military guy that will leave her raising a baby alone and she'd be better off without it.  I will not go into the details, you get the point.  It has progressed to the point where he just passes her now and says, "You disgust me".

I will not even tell you what I said!  I would have my membership banned!  So after I calm down, and YS calms down he says, "Mom, will you take her in?"  He tells me he told her that she needed to come to our house immediately but she told him that she would not come be a burden to us.  He goes on to say that he will take care of all her expenses, etc. and would I please do this for him?  He is in tears bless his heart.  So of course I told him I would and that I needed to talk to DH about it first, out of respect for him.  He understood and said, "She's not going to do it, but will you try if DH is ok with it?" 

Needless to say, DH's response was "Let's go get her now."  I so love that man.  So for the last week, FDIL and I have spent hours on the phone.  I offered, she refused.  I told her that was fine, just know she had a place to go if she wanted to.  Then she would bring it back up with, I've never relied on anyone to take care of me, I make my own way.  I would just say, "I understand.  I'm an independent person too.  Whatever you want."  Blah blah blah.  She's called and will say, "I would have to turn in a two week notice and find another job..."  I'd say, ok...whatever you want.  She's made comments all week so I knew she was considering it, but I didn't push her.  She asked about would it really bother us.  Nope.  She's asked if she did it, would I get made if she cleaned and helped cook.  Nah, you can do what you want.

So yesterday, she texts me.  "I want to come to you guys. I turned in my notice and they got mad and said not to bother working the notice."  Ok, when you coming?  I need to pack.  Ok, need some help?  No, I need to go through things.  Ok, whenever you're ready.  I'll be ready by tomorrow.

So the guest room didn't stay empty long....Lol.  I know we get along great, just send your best energy that this all works out.  By the way, YS is now happy too.

[luise.volta]

You are totally amazing! And more!  What a lucky DIL to have a port in the storm. Her grandfather was probably trying to help her in his own way but what a harsh and impossible stand to take with someone else's life (lives.) Sending love...

[Keys Girl]

Pooh, so sorry to hear about this, hope you are feeling better soon,
Love, KG

[Pooh]

Well thanks for saying I'm amazing, but I think right now...I'm leaning towards crazy!  Poor DH.  Me and a pregnant woman with hormones raging?  I'm really not stressed about it.  I'm not having any expectations (see, I can learn).  Her and I get along fine and honestly, we have both been ourselves.  No eggshells out of either one of us.  She says her mind, I say mine on subjects.  She's a very good person and I hate that she has been in such a stressful environment and trying to just tough it out. 

I too think grandpa probably has good intentions and thinks he thought he was trying to help her.  I just couldn't help think that what was he thinking saying something like that?  It's obvious she's thrilled with the baby and so is YS (after the initial shock).  I think she thought the same thing as far as he was just upset and would calm down.  He hasn't and is making her feel so bad about it still, a month later.

[Elise]

Bless your loving generous heart Pooh!

[lancaster lady]

Sounds familiar Pooh ......good luck ....

[Pooh]

I truly did think about you LL while this was happening   Got any spare scones?

[lancaster lady]

For you Pooh , of course , wish i could export them , make a fortune .....lol