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new baby , new mom , new grandmom

Started by artlady, April 10, 2012, 08:55:05 AM

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luise.volta

We all care. We all want to see you back in balance. We all differ because we're all different. No one is right and no one is wrong. We're just giving feedback from our various perspectives. We have all been there in one way and another. That's what counts.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

artlady

Thanks Luise     I'm painting today and feel like I can get a balance . I"m now trying to schedule a visit on Friday with gs and DD , as a friend who hasn't seen her in a long time or ever seen the baby wants to go. We have to drive 1  1/2  hours up and back which is not bad but we had hoped to arrive about 10 visit and then we all go out to lunch , go back and leave before we get caught in the big city 4 traffic . Well with this new very rigid napping schedule , I"m not so sure we will see him awake or if so we might have to eat lunch on the way home . Also she is going to her daily stroller strides ( which I"m so glad she has joined) .  So if we get there at 10 , she won't be home until 11.  So not so sure we will have much baby time , if DD will be able to get it all done with us coming and we will take her( baby ) out for lunch so she doesn't have to worry about that. wow planning is so tough on how to get everyone on the same schedule . OK time to go back to painting , have to finish this one by Tuesday for delivery out of town.  Yikes

luise.volta

I hope you have a great time...and I'm so happy that you are painting! Sending love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Pooh

I've read on it but never used it.  There is so many different theories about everything out there when it comes to raising children.  Pacifier or no pacifier.  Cloth diapers...disposable diapers.  Putting a child in bed with you versus making them sleep in their own bed.  I have my opinion on each subject based on my personality, what worked for me and how I felt about each one.  That's the bottom line.  It was my choice as a Mother what to try and not try.  I know you aren't giving her any advice, which is good because I even had to do different things each child as they were different.  Punish one son by taking away his toys and making him read a book, was torture to him.  Punish the other one the same way, was fun because he loved books.  Had to use a different strategy on each child.  She will make her own mistakes, do much right and learn from both.

I am with Luise.  We will always worry about them and love them, but we can not let it consume us.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

artlady

No that is why I"m so glad I still work even if part time and I"m also a CARE net volunteer as I work with cancer patients as they go through treatments being a cancer survivor myself. So I've got lots to keep me busy , it is that old brain that gets going at night when i sit down, get on the computer or can't find a darn thing on TV worth watching   lol

Pooh

I have known that feeling.  My new one?  You'll love this.  I have had nothing but attitude issues with SD...drives me bonkers...you guys know the stories.  So this trip next week, we aren't taking her and oh how relieved I was to be able to know we would have fun and leave Miss Stress at home.  I was giddy for two days knowing I wouldn't have to deal with her antics and could enjoy my time with DH/YS/FDIL.  So what did I do last night?  Laid awake feeling guilty about not wanting her to go.  Berating myself for feeling glad about it.  Coming up with reasons why we should take her....oh geesh...there's got to be a drug for this! Lol.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

artlady

LOL LOL LOL @POOH    wow now you have made my day , I would be and have done the very same thing. I do wish there was meds for that as I get so excited knowing I might get to avoid that painful person then feel guilty and end up asking them etc. Got to be a drug somewhere for us LOL

Pooh

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

artlady

Hey  I was feeling confident that your were on the track of it and would be letting me know asap you found the miracle cure .  lol

Pooh

Nope.  Closest thing I have found so far is chocolate chip cookies.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

artlady

Well my best fix is a double Butterfinger  candy bar , that seems to give me such relief  , but the scales don't like them .

artlady

Luise   don't count my chickens yet . We are trying to work out all the variables to make this trip work. So sitting in the driveway for an hour might not be fun waiting on her to get home from stroller strides, then visit a bit , go to lunch and take her back home , hit the road by the bad traffic to get home without much traffic . The other problem is with the new sleep schedule , dint' now how much time we will have to hold or see baby as the awake window is short , he sleeps now from 9-11 and 1-3:00 so we will eat and hold baby at guess at whereever we go out to eat at. So not such a good way to visit but not going to ask her to miss one day out of 5 for class nor would I ever want her to upset this new schedule as then if he hasn't slept " it is a bad night for us all " ( her own words ) so I don't want to be the reason daddy isn't getting sleep . So we will see, if we can get it done in the time frame we are dealing with . I'm getting too old for all this rush rush rush, wonder what happened to when folks are driving from out of town to visit you accommodate them the best you can.  Well the old school is out and the new school is in. By any chance do you know where there is a "new school " for old school folks to go . ?   LOL

artlady

Well I feel better DD is more like herself, ( so body snatchers didn't take her ) and baby seems so much better. She explained exactly how she has been doing the sleep training , she modified it after following pediatricians instructions , read the Feber method then took out parts of all that she thought she liked and would work for her . So she started one way but saw she had to change it , so now I feel better , he does cry but not as long as all had told her to let him. I think the longest has been 40 minutes but since then it has been 10- 15 or less. So the best part of it all is neither are sleep deprived , that little fella wasn't getting near enough sleep for his age, tired , fussy , gassy and nursed on demand all the time so she was worn completely out . She has also changed the nursing schedule and he actually takes a morning nap after sleeping a very long night with waking up once to nurse . I'm so proud of her and feel so much better as I knew she couldn't keep that pace up , plus she is exercising , working out when she can so  I was worried she would just drop from exhaustion . Poor thing can't really leave on weekends though to go out on her own as SIL can't seem to handle baby by himself, even if he is sleeping etc, so hopefully she will get him trained soon (LOL) so she can go out alone when she needs a break. So now that worry is behind and I can sleep better myself. Thanks for hanging in there with me . hugs to all

Pen

What a relief for you & DD, GS, and yes even SIL. That's great!
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

artlady

Baby still doing better than before but he has changed some on the waking times in the night that she says he has got to go back to times, For instance he is waking up 2nd time at 4 vs 5 or 5:30 but I've assured her he will be fine and go back to the schedule that babies change alot so not to get too worried , or like sometimes being hard on herself . I think maybe sometimes trying to keep it right on the exact time all day and night can be exhausting for new moms , so being a little flexible can help them to cope or at least i hope so. She is doing great and I'm so proud of her , I'm not worrying about him as much now , his little cheeks are filling out , still long and lean but he is gaining now so all seems to work. Poor little fella maybe couldn't gain much as he was not getting enough sleep, who knows but I think now things will start to settle down , all will get the needed sleep they need and that is a big plus. Yahooooooooooo. I know gm will sleep better now. Didn't get to go this week but hopefully I'll go next week to get my hands on that little babe. I have to eat crow as the first way she told me about i was scared about and once she tried it , didnt' like it , adjusted it to what she could stand to hear( crying ) it all worked .