Author Topic: Won't this awful jealousy go away??  (Read 15247 times)

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Offline lancaster lady

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Re: Won't this awful jealousy go away??
« Reply #60 on: April 26, 2012, 10:21:55 AM »
sorry Pen , you know we love you .... ;)

Offline Pen

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Re: Won't this awful jealousy go away??
« Reply #61 on: April 26, 2012, 01:14:33 PM »
No worries, I was about to hijack my own thread, lol. I mean, how much more wallowing can a woman do??

Thanks for all the replies and advice. You all are right on. Scoop, I know I should grow a pair and simply ask DS what's going on! I've been trying to come up with a way to approach it that doesn't come across as whiney, needy, confrontational or plain old pathetic.

Be assured I am not letting this derail my activities and growth. The old Pen would have felt like going back to bed w/a carton of Ben & Jerry's and a trashy magazine. The new, improved Pen is out & about, taking care of business, lol.

I fear this weirdness will spill over to DDD's relationship w/her DB. She doesn't understand this stuff, & she'll have no one but him eventually (although we've made it clear that DS won't be responsible for her care/finances.) My heart breaks for her; she would love to see DS & DIL more often, remembers everyone's bdays, loves holidays, etc. She gets tired of hanging out w/her fuddy-duddy Ps. It would be great if DS/DIL would take her on an outing every now & then like they do DIL's sib, but we certainly don't expect them to do so.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Won't this awful jealousy go away??
« Reply #62 on: April 26, 2012, 01:38:32 PM »
My take: I think instead of asking DS for a private, one-on-one with you about the changes in your relationship…I would ask if he had any interest in doing that. He may not want to…and that's his right. Your points are so well taken where DDD is concerned and he may or may not be willing to consider them. It looks to me like having DS be how he is is still the major issue at the bottom of your well-founded anguish. He may not have addressed these issues head on but he has sent endless "messages"…his heartless contempt on your birthday only being the most recent. Sending love...

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

Offline Ruth

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Re: Won't this awful jealousy go away??
« Reply #63 on: April 26, 2012, 01:45:31 PM »
shoot.  the new me goes to bed with a carton of Bed and Jerry's

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Won't this awful jealousy go away??
« Reply #64 on: April 26, 2012, 01:59:32 PM »
You guys have found a guy named Ben and one named Jerry that are delivered in cartons? And you go to bed with them?
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

Offline Ruth

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Re: Won't this awful jealousy go away??
« Reply #65 on: April 26, 2012, 02:51:38 PM »
I did a typo!   Oh I needed a good chuckle and I did it to myself!

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Won't this awful jealousy go away??
« Reply #66 on: April 26, 2012, 04:04:27 PM »
That's hilarious! I can't bear to correct it. It's too funny!  ;D ;D ;D
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

Offline forever spring

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Re: Won't this awful jealousy go away??
« Reply #67 on: April 26, 2012, 10:08:10 PM »
The cheers to the new you, Pen! The occasional 'sinful hour' with a carton of Ben and Jerry's not to be missed either, stress is on occasional.
Seriously, I'm sorry for DDD who is missing out on contact with DB. He will in years to come regret all of this. I think Luise is right, put the ball in his court and ask him if he wants to talk, if not then it'll be his fault and you don't come over all whiny and needy.


Offline Pen

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Re: Won't this awful jealousy go away??
« Reply #68 on: April 26, 2012, 10:38:00 PM »
You guys are great. Love you all!
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Offline Pooh

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Re: Won't this awful jealousy go away??
« Reply #69 on: April 30, 2012, 08:29:48 AM »
I'm sorry that I wasn't around to wish you the most wondermous, spectacular birthday wishes Pen! 

I'm sorry they acted that way....the jerks. 

My mean side?  I would have had a hard time not responding back, "Well then I know what to get her for her 40th birthday now.  Thanks!"
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell