Author Topic: Does anyone have time for a cup of coffee?  (Read 2399 times)

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amflautist

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Does anyone have time for a cup of coffee?
« on: January 05, 2012, 12:49:00 PM »

Offline lancaster lady

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Re: Does anyone have time for a cup of coffee?
« Reply #1 on: January 05, 2012, 01:44:47 PM »
Accepting your invitation with pleasure AM .....need a good chat ...... :)

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Does anyone have time for a cup of coffee?
« Reply #2 on: January 05, 2012, 03:17:30 PM »
I will be having a "cuppa" with you tomorrow evening when I get back home to my iMac desktop. This PC laptop has been out to get me since the moment I arrived. Sending love...
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

Offline Rose799

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Re: Does anyone have time for a cup of coffee?
« Reply #3 on: January 05, 2012, 04:03:04 PM »
Wonderful, thanks AM...

amflautist

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Re: Does anyone have time for a cup of coffee?
« Reply #4 on: January 06, 2012, 05:42:52 AM »
And so my own DH, the eternal professor, responded with this:
http://www.flickspire.com/m/IAAW/LifeIsLikeCoffee


Offline Pooh

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Re: Does anyone have time for a cup of coffee?
« Reply #5 on: January 06, 2012, 06:16:55 AM »
I love that AM!
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Does anyone have time for a cup of coffee?
« Reply #6 on: January 07, 2012, 02:36:17 PM »
Here I am! Here I am! :D I didn't check in last night because I was so wiped from the 5 hour drive over Steven's Pass. Slept 12 hours!

So, yes, I am ready for a "cuppa." I'm back in my little, studio apartment…back visiting my beloved Val in our nursing facility. They were right when they (staff) recommended that I leave the campus for the first time in over a decade. Val, age 100, no longer has a grip on time and so had no idea I hadn't been to see him in 9 days.

I sure missed him but I also had a wonderful visit with my daughter, Sonja, who, you may remember, is my ex-DIL. They have been divorced for 25 years but Sonja and I decided not to get divorced.  ;) We talked our heads off, went to bed early and slept late, ate marvelous food (like homemade lasagna) because she's a fabulous cook, and laughed ourselves silly. She has 20 acres up on a plateau over the Methow River in E. WA. Very stark, beautiful and silent. There's a "bunkhouse" (as big as my studio) that is just "steps" away from her strawbale home. (Slipping and sliding "steps" on ice and snow but I didn't fall once and I loved the privacy!) I met some of her new friends and saw some of the surrounding territory. She relocated there after sustaining brain damage when rear-ended by an 18 wheeler carrying 90 tons. There's one gal, who, at 66, appreciates every day that dawns! We did Christmas and New Years…complete with our Miracle Lists…and shared our Winter Solstice rituals that we did separately before I went over but documented so we could share afterward. None of my offspring, real or imagined, will sanction my driving over the pass at age 84, so they haul me back and forth. Our plan is to do the same thing in March, September and November…the other three solstice and equinox celebrations.

I did the best I could to try to keep up with WWU but there is a world of difference in our computers. Mine is an iMac desktop and hers, a laptop PC. I'm not as adept at flitting back and forth as I once was. For that reason, my work on www.MomResponds.com has piled up. Ouch! I have 15 question in the queue and each one takes up to an hour to answer. Oh, well, those who run and play must pay the piper!

I am glad to be home…and...living in a retirement center can be a challenge, at best. We are confronted every day with the reality of our own mortality. End of life issues surround us and there is no way not to notice the countdown. The lesson is to learn to live each day in grace and gratitude. Not always an easy lesson but/and well worth the effort.

So, cyber-family-of-mine, that's what goes with the "cuppa" today. Sending love…     

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

Offline Pen

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Re: Does anyone have time for a cup of coffee?
« Reply #7 on: January 07, 2012, 04:26:50 PM »
Glad you're back safe & sound, Luise. Please thank Sonja and your other "kids" for taking such good care of you for us, lol. I love your plans; you are one amazing woman!
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Does anyone have time for a cup of coffee?
« Reply #8 on: January 07, 2012, 04:55:55 PM »
Thank you. It takes one to spot one, my dear Pen.
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

Offline Doe

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Re: Does anyone have time for a cup of coffee?
« Reply #9 on: January 08, 2012, 08:34:37 AM »
""I am glad to be home…and...living in a retirement center can be a challenge, at best. We are confronted every day with the reality of our own mortality. End of life issues surround us and there is no way not to notice the countdown. The lesson is to learn to live each day in grace and gratitude. Not always an easy lesson but/and well worth the effort.""

Luise,  this gave me pause.  I've wondered about where I'm going to live at the end of my life.  DH is 10 years older so he'll likely be gone and I don't see myself moving in with my sons.  You like the community living, even though the end of life issues are constantly around?

Offline Pen

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Re: Does anyone have time for a cup of coffee?
« Reply #10 on: January 08, 2012, 08:52:50 AM »
I've been wondering the same thing. It's not too early to think about all this, but my DH is in denial and says I'm being negative when I bring it up (he's a little younger than I. Ooo, I guess that makes me a cougar!)
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Does anyone have time for a cup of coffee?
« Reply #11 on: January 08, 2012, 09:57:19 AM »
I honestly think confronting end of life issues is healthy. (Note: not necessarily easy.) Head-in-sand, is, to my way of thinking, dangerous. If you don't act on your impending changing needs, others will have to make your choices for you; pick the place, empty and sell your house/apartment, etc. because if you wait until you need it, it's too late to manage it. I see refusing to face it as asking way too much of others and of bringing unneeded stress to everyone concerned, including you.Our sons see us as out there on the cutting edge because we did all of that ourselves before it needed to be done. (Sold and emptied the house…and moved in here, healthy and well.) "Here" is at:  www.warmbeach.org .

What I haven't been doing, since I needed to stay close to Val, was to get away now and then. Now that his sense of time is gone, I can do that. I came here 11 years ago at age 73. Val was 89. We both volunteered and made friends and I'm really glad we got to enjoy it together for some time. I am still in good shape…hold a seat on the Resident Council and visit Val daily in our campus nursing facility. I now live in our campus low-income housing and he is on partial welfare assistance (it costs $6,300 a MONTH in nursing and many places charge more than that!)  Neither of those options are open to new residents. They have a limited number of welfare beds in nursing and reserve them for established, independent-living residents and there is a 5 year waiting list for low-income housing. I have welfare assisted care waiting for me when and if I need it…and welfare nursing home care beyond that.

Neither of us has ever had any public assistance and didn't expect to ever need it. (In fact we both had a definite, negative mind set against it.) We are both retired insurance company executives with good pensions and we were home-owners; solvent and financially responsible. However, savings disappear. End of life costs are unreal when our nursing home costs over $75,000 a year at present (and it's climbing) and my living expenses are on top of that. Many people are in nursing for years!

OK…I'm down off my soap box... ;D
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

Offline Doe

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Re: Does anyone have time for a cup of coffee?
« Reply #12 on: January 08, 2012, 01:58:04 PM »
Oh, I see.  From your earlier post, I thought maybe you were having a hard time of it there.  Glad that you are well situated.

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Does anyone have time for a cup of coffee?
« Reply #13 on: January 08, 2012, 02:03:17 PM »
I was just having a hard time with life.  :-)
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

Offline Doe

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Re: Does anyone have time for a cup of coffee?
« Reply #14 on: January 08, 2012, 02:23:55 PM »
Hey - I want to make sure that we are there for you as much as you are there for us.