A mix of thoughts for the New Year

[firelight]

The really cool thing about your other DS's and GS's visit is your DS told you the story!  What a beautiful gift your heart needed.   

[luise.volta]

Rose799 - I wonder if we don't have a cyber-Resort here. I had never thought of WWU in those terms. So, how about this? We all have paid up, lifetime memberships and we all own stock. We may come bouncing in brimming with good news or we my crawl over the threshold exhausted and bleeding with nothing left in us but a rant. The point is we come "home" to our cyber-family where we can be real...where we know we will be acknowledged and heard. Oh, and by the way...loved. Our "family" dances with us in our joy and weeps with us in our pain.

We don't have to dress up at our Resort WWU unless we want to and no one judges us. If anyone tries to...a Moderator goes "ping" and she is no more. That's because our Resort isn't for everyone. We're a middle-of-the-road Resort. No attacking, no gurus or professionals, just space and caring. Caring shows up as sharing...it has substance. And little by little many of us retrieve ourselves from the ashes of our own expectations. I love that quote from Nik: Life has no remote control...get up and change it." We help each other get up.

[Pooh]

I like it!  Buuutttt.........who's cooking? 

[Doe]

We don't have to dress up at our Resort WWU unless we want to and no one judges us.

Hey, back in September, Pen was talking up Muu-Muus.  That's resort clothing if you ask me!

[luise.volta]

We have a cyber-cook all lined up, Pooh!

[Rose799]

It may be middle-of-the-road, but it sounds perfect to me!  Better still, no one has to cook!   

[Ruth]

Hi City Girl, I send you hugs and high hopes.  first of all I want to address your initial comments about sadness reading posts, and feeling inadequate to help others.  I borrow this from Rose (forgive me Rose) that every lesson is not meant for you (me), etc.  I don't read all post-ers, but some I do and the ones I read I also feel touched and respond if I feel I can contribute something.  The lovely thing is, there are a lot of us here!   Maybe we are not all meant to respond to all posts, we share the load and each one gets just what she needs!  There is no failure here.  Secondly, we are all living our lives w/o a dress rehearsal, this is the real deal and it changes constantly, who of us knows whether or not the strong today will be strong tomorrow?  And anyway, when I read a struggling story, it dispels loneliness in me, and I know that we are on common ground. 

I go thru much sadness and disappointment with my ds, City Girl.  It isn't what I wanted, but I consider myself blessed and fortunate to have a dd that does keep me in relationship.  I don't find in my own experience that I'm reaching a totally healed place from that sense of loss of ds, but I can see that I have fewer and fewer really bad days since I came to WWU and shared it with people who understood.  I have come to the conclusion through months of reading and writing, that all of us one thing in common in this estrangement insanity, which is the challenge to erase from our subconscious the image of our children as children, and switch it to the reality of children as full fledged adults, who no longer look to us for reassurance, guidance, and safety, and rightfully so.  We have faded out of the limelight, and the sooner we come to terms with that and get a life for ourselves, the better.  Once that huddle is crossed, anything positive is possible - i.e. remission from MS or other diseases that are exacerbated by stress and worry.  Take heart, dear one, and forge ahead into the new year as a new woman, strong in what you have accomplished and bursting with new ideas and energy.  No more knuckle dragging Mama.!

Luise I love what you said about 'We help each other get up'.  You express your self so poetically and profoundly.

[nikncon]

Yes Luise.You said it so perfectly.It is our little private "resort"I can't wait until the evening emails  arrive so that I can read new posts that might improve my situation or just give me a chuckle.

[Begonia]

I think this forum works so well because it's kind of like a buffet.  We can take what we want, fill ourselves up and then move on.  If we get hungry again we come back for a bite of this or that or dessert. I have been posting and reading for several months now and every time I read I learn something new or get strength from someone.  One thing that I am still amazed by is that the bottom line is basically the same: Kind and good women are being tossed to the side.  Before I started reading here I would never have imagined that this happened to other good and kind women.  I thought I was the only mother to be treated this way.  Never again will I tolerate disrespect from my AC.  Thanks to all of you WW, whether you post or not, for your energy and support.  We are strong, we are valuable!  Thanks for this site.  Onward to a peaceful 2012 to all. 

[firelight]

luise, you made the perfect post about this site and it's members....

That is true about the buffet thing:  if someone doesn't respond (or just unable to at that moment) to a person's post, we know there are plenty of WW who will. 
I remember when I first came here with  my heart bleeding, someone said to me "the troops are on their way!" ....I so loved that....and they were too!

Most recently I was going to have a shopping day with my DD just before Christmas and wasn't too sure how it was going to go and luise said she was going to tuck me in her pocket for the night, next to her heart.  Talk about feeling supported and loved! 

I'm proud to be a part of the "luise volta wise women refuge resort"!   

[Pooh]

No cooking and Muu-Muus?  I'm soooo in.

[lisafox41]

To Begonia,
I was amazed to see how many of us are in the same situation. That bond is why this site works. Who better to hear our stories than those who have been through the same?

City Girl,
It is so hard to be mistreated by those who could be loving us. I think we all have good days and bad days. On the good days you will be able to post things in response to others. On the bad days you can be on the receiving end of the love and advice offered here.

Take care.