I too want to thank you for your posts Nina Mary! Several parts of your story were like reading about my own life actually. My mother also has always resented me, and has told me that she was jealous because my father would pay attention to me more than her as an infant...what mother does that? She resented being tied down by having four kids, but like you I finally came to realize it isn't MY fault, it was their own! When reading your posts I felt so much better knowing someone else totally understands the things I have gone through with mother and other family members. I too was out on my own at age 16 to sink or swim. I have 3 adult children, and I too had to decide to "walk away" from the two younger ones. Like your kids they would get mad if I did not give to them or do for them, and they also use my grandkids as pawns...I understand that pain well. I had to finally just stop allowing this to go on. I am taking down the Christmas tree today, and I was saddened by the fact that I no longer get to have a relationship with the four grandchildren of these adult kids of mine. Then I decided to take a break and get a cup of coffee and get on my computer for a bit. That is when I cam across your post! Just what I needed at this time! I too have a wonderful supportive husband, great friends, and a job I love...so life is good. I feel like you as far as saying my kids can contact me if they choose, but I will not allow their treatment of me to be less than respectful, nor will I be taking care of them or their needs, they are adults and they need to be responsible for their own lives! If they choose to have no contact with me, I accept that. I choose to have no contact unless they accept my limitations on how they treat me! I feel so uplifted right now, thank you. I had already cut contact with my emotionally abusive mother, and that has made my life much better too. I am glad to be able to communicate on this site with such wise wonderful women. Blessings to all of you. This next few days are always difficult for me because I had a son who passed away in infancy, and his birthday is January 2...I never forget that date. I dealt with those grief issues a long time ago, but a mother never "forgets" ( or at least most mothers).