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just what she wanted

Started by RedRose, March 05, 2010, 06:50:05 AM

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cocobars

I've been signed in but had to go for a bit.  I just noticed these and Chickie, I'm sorry you're feeling so bad today.  These days come and there doesn't seem to be any way of avoiding them.  When I get these days I really try to get outside if I can.  It seems to help my outlook.  I know it's hard seeing that facebook page and I would be upset too, but you have to remember that he is where he wants to be right now. 

I agree with Rose.  Put your husband first and start looking at being that happy couple you were when you were first married.  That can change your view and help you to look ahead.

Remember what a wonderful woman you are.  Do you remember your post the other day when you talked about going out and having everyone around you in stitches?  That was good for you to see yourself again like that.  Just know that tomorrow is always better when these days come, and you have us to lean on!  We love you Chickie and you can talk here... :'(   

2chickiebaby

Coco, I feel so bad pouring my heart out to all of you.  Each one of you has individual struggles but I guess together we can do it.  I do remember who I once was.  It bothers the DILs, though.  I don't get it. 

But thank you.  You know when you're tired, just exhausted?  That's the way I've been feeling for so long.  Just exhausted.  There isn't much spark in me anymore. I need to be giving and not sitting here getting.

Both sons speak words that come straight out of the DILs mouth. Same song, 50th verse. It's the weirdest thing I've ever seen.  So sad to me.  I guess they had no identity.  One son told me recently that he didn't care what his brother and his wife said or thought anymore. (he's married to DDIL)  I know they are estranged.  I never dreamed this..once best friends, now nothing.

I'm sorry I'm dragging everyone down.  It's a pity party, I guess.

cocobars

Chickie, I have seen that wonderful woman with the dry humor!  You found her publicly the other day and had so much fun.  There's not a doubt in my mind that everyone around you enjoyed you too!  And at the end of it all, you were safe and happy.  You have so much to offer the world and I can see you have that gift.  Laughing is healing too!  You are a healer in that way!  I hope you find that woman someday around your sons and DIL's again!  I think it will be a day to remember for all of you!

I know you feel bad pouring your heart out here, but this is exactly where you can do that!  I understand your feelings so much and have had to swallow hard and do that here too.  You know us and we are not thinking any less of those feelings when you have them.  I believe all of us here have them, and would be surprised if nobody did.  We're human...

Those are just my thoughts, but they are heartfelt.

Feel that!  It's me hugging you!

By the way, nothing wrong with pity parties!  They are necessary and this won't be your last.  LOL!  I'll invite you to mine next time - I'm not bashful! :D

cocobars

Sometimes us "givers" need to "get" too!

Besides, I still remember the time you had me laughing so hard I peed in my pants!  LOL!  I don't even remember what we were laughing so hard over, but I remember my sides aching and having a headache from openly laughing at my computer!  I still remember my daughter (sitting at her computer next to mine) looking at me like I had lost my mind (course, that's when the pants changing came up so she would really know her mom was losing it!) ;D

2chickiebaby

You're precious, Coco.....I miss my Mother. I have not seen her since I was 7.  She was my whole world.  I wish I could see her.  I know she'd know what to do. I know others have gone through all this too.  My heart breaks for them.

I want to do something about all this but am stuck. Death, even though it's not real death is still death.  I wish the young women of today weren't so harsh.  I wish they had some kindness in them.  I know some of them do have love and kindness but those are not my DILs.  Somebody needs to explain to me about the bluntness in people.  I'm too fragile to handle it. I wish I was mean, really cold and mean. I know I'd be better off.   Why did I get this double, triple dose of tender heartedness?  You have it too, Coco.  All the people here have it. 

cocobars

March 06, 2010, 04:20:59 PM #20 Last Edit: March 06, 2010, 04:25:04 PM by cocobars
You are so right!  I've noticed that about the women here - all of us.  I think this site just attracts tender hearted people.  We may have the occasional dysfunction running through trying to create havoc, but we also have our "FORUM MODERATOR"!  HAHAHA!  I love that word - kind of like bouncer or bodyguard! 

I don't understand blunt people either, except that I believe they are people who have built walls up.  Some of them were raised that way, and once that happens they're usually ruined as human beings (that's just my opinion).  You will never reach someone who was truly raised to believe "that" is normal, and I believe from my own childhood that I believed my home was normal.  It wasn't.  I had to relearn, but so many people don't.  The just don't care...

All I can do when I come across someone like that is distance myself so I'm not hurt.  I will get hurt so easily because I still have that trigger that tells me I'm saying or doing something to deserve their treatment.  I know I'm not, but I still have to fight that "feeling."  I probably always will.

Just hang in there chickie!  I know who you are, and I believe the rest of us do.  You are a precious soul and deserve happiness.

Sorry I used the word "never."  I try not to use that word because I don't believe in it.  It's a negative word for me.

2chickiebaby

I don't seem to "get". 

I don't remember what I said but I can be funny when I'm funny.  I took an exercise class  for awhile till my teacher went Coo Coo on me.  She was upset that I couldn't come anymore, remember? She wanted her money for the coming month.  There's always a motive with people.

She said she was a healer.  "I'm a healer!!", she kind of screamed.  Uh huh....I asked her one time if she ever got sick and she said, "never".  Now, I know she was in the  hospital last year but I never brought that up to her.  I asked her if she ever got a headache and she said, "no, I stand on my head".  Hello?

She was such a nut.  I thought she was so cute because she was eccentric but she's nuts. I truly am a nut magnet.   

I have this friend who has been my friend for years.  She is a Counselor. LORD!! She's a nut....trying to make sense with a nut is like trying to unscramble scrambled eggs.  She calls at the wrong time, ever know someone like that? 

She talks endlessly about brain interactions and has no sense of humor.  I took her to a movie years ago...a famous comedy that was really goofy.  Vacation....remember that one?  She never laughed one time.  When Chevy Chase fell asleep while driving and landed at the motel parking lot, my friend turned to me and said, "I can't imagine that happening?" 



cocobars

March 06, 2010, 04:48:14 PM #22 Last Edit: March 06, 2010, 04:52:31 PM by cocobars
Chickie!

I'm sorry but I'm just rolling here!  You haven't lost anything!!!

And yes, I remember that happening...  The stalker/healer! ;D

I'm one of "those" magnets too!  It's awful and everyone else thinks it's funny!  I must get some funny looks on my face when the twilight zone music starts. That's all I can think...

I'm not a healer.  Just a magnet!

I can't unscramble scrambled eggs either, but I must look funny trying.

cocobars

March 06, 2010, 04:53:28 PM #23 Last Edit: March 06, 2010, 05:08:48 PM by cocobars
Do you still take the brain interactor to comedies??? ;D

Maybe we should all try standing on our heads!

2chickiebaby

Lord!  No! No more movies with the brain interactor.  I told her it was funny and that she should laugh.  It was like in Rainman when his brother said it was a joke and he should laugh?  Raymond was still trying to find out who's on first. She's like that but she's not autistic. She's just plain nuts. 

Yes, let's all stand on our heads. 


Pen

I'm ROTFL, you two. I'm picturing the brain doctor sitting there like a robot (or Spock from Star Trek) while Chickie is guffawing in the theater. She's probably as puzzled by you as you are by her! My stepmother is like that (brain expert as well, coincidentally.)

Chickie, part of what I miss about DS is being around his sense of humor. We used to tell the funniest stories about weird stuff that happened to us. We weren't afraid to laugh at ourselves or our situations. DIL can laugh AT people, but doesn't get the other kinds of humor. We've unconsciously changed the way we talk around her, and I miss the old, humorous days.

Luckily I have some friends who love to laugh, and you guys...
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

2chickiebaby

Don't you miss those days?  We used to crack up around here. Crazy laughing. All that has come to an end.  Boy!  I know they must miss that.  I guess when you're under a spell you don't think right. 

Pen

I think I've mentioned my friends who joined religious cults before - we used to pee our pants laughing at the most ridiculous things. After they joined up, all humor was gone. Everything's serious now. It kind of feels like that.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

cocobars

It's ok Pen...

You can come here and pee your pants now! ;D

Pen

Apparently so! Thanks, Coco :)
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb