Author Topic: Went to my friend's funeral today  (Read 3888 times)

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2chickiebaby

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Went to my friend's funeral today
« on: February 06, 2010, 04:35:45 PM »
Today we said 'goodbye for now' to my dear friend.  It was hard but beautiful.  You never know when an angel is visiting here on earth but one was here and I knew her.

Her grown children spoke at her service and then, her Sons in law. They spoke of her kindness and total love for them.  I was stuck at how rich they were!! That's all I could think about.  How rich they are!! Not with money but in love.  I look at the headlines of today's movie stars and think about how rich in money they are but in no way do they measure my friend in real wealth.

I heard her wonderful husband call his home on his phone for her.  So sad!! He was in such shock.  He called her name into the phone.  His daughters promised me that they would take good care of him....and they will. 

It's what you leave behind that counts....not what you have here on earth.  This life is just  few minutes but what you leave here lasts forever. 




cocobars

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Re: Went to my friend's funeral today
« Reply #1 on: February 06, 2010, 04:52:41 PM »
Oh Chickie...  just caught this on my way out!  How beautiful your thoughts about your friend!  I'm sure an angel was truly there at that funeral watching over all of you and loving you!

Yes, how rich "YOU ALL" were!

Love you!
coco

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Went to my friend's funeral today
« Reply #2 on: February 06, 2010, 05:20:48 PM »
Well, that's amazing. I just came home from my closest friend (next door) husband's memorial this afternoon. We are "walking the walk", C/B. Their kids, grand kids and in laws all spoke. It was so moving; a life lived so well. And then there was a lovely slide show. They had been together 61 years!

Thinking of you. Sending love.
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

2chickiebaby

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Re: Went to my friend's funeral today
« Reply #3 on: February 06, 2010, 05:34:04 PM »
I'm so sorry, Luise...it's so hard to say goodbye.  This one for me, opened my eyes and made me feel ashamed.  She had never said an unkind thing about anyone else.  I have.  In my hurt, I have on here.

I hope to not do that again. When I feel afraid and shut out, I say things on here that I shouldn't.  I don't do that in real life but on here I do.  I pour it out.  I hope I don't do it again. 

I want to leave something good when I leave the earth...not bad.  She was far too young to go but what she left behind was felt to everyone who knew her.  She will never be gone, really. She left nothing but goodness behind.

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Went to my friend's funeral today
« Reply #4 on: February 06, 2010, 05:49:12 PM »
Beautiful, C/B. Don't be too hard on yourself...we don't do perfection, any of us. Sometimes we need to vent and this is a safe place to do it. You do a great deal of-good here and out in the real world, as well. You have a huge and kind heart.  :)

Was this the friend that has been in a coma for so long that you wrote about before?

We are sure in sinc today! Not easy to say goodbye. My friend has been spending a lot of time over here since her husband passed last Saturday. And I know when Val leaves, she will be there for me. (We call ourselves "The Bobbsey Twins at the Old People's Home." (The adventures of the Bobbsey Twins were much-loved children's books when we were kids...1,000 years ago.)
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

2chickiebaby

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Re: Went to my friend's funeral today
« Reply #5 on: February 06, 2010, 05:58:44 PM »
You're sweet, Luise...thank you.  I want to leave kindness behind, not bitterness.  I am telling you, it what you leave behind that counts, not what you have on earth.

This became so clear to me today.  This was not my friend, my best friend in the world, who is now in a vegetative state but can still hear and see but another one, equally as precious.

I just want to tell the DILs and MILs alike, don't strike out in bitterness! Try as hard as you can to make amends and love, even when it's not returned.  It will be too late when that person is gone.  Sometimes they leave too early and you're left with only memories of all you could have done and didn't. 

Overlooking and forgiving....Lord, please let me do that.  I won't always succeed but I hope to try.

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Went to my friend's funeral today
« Reply #6 on: February 06, 2010, 06:02:29 PM »
I have to say that I think you are right. Bitterness hurts us more than it does anyone else.

She was lucky to have you for a friend...anyone would be.

I love having you for an e-friend! :-*
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

2chickiebaby

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Re: Went to my friend's funeral today
« Reply #7 on: February 06, 2010, 06:10:06 PM »
I love you too, Luise...imagine hearing her husband call home hoping to talk to her!  It was heartbreaking. 

They are not older but middle aged people....so rich!!!! So rich in love.  I envy their wealth.  Her Daughters are precious!  You've never met anyone so kind and loving, staying by their mother's side till the end. 

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Went to my friend's funeral today
« Reply #8 on: February 06, 2010, 07:24:41 PM »
What was that all about, her husband calling home after she died? I assumed they were both really old and he had dementia.
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

cocobars

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Re: Went to my friend's funeral today
« Reply #9 on: February 06, 2010, 07:30:20 PM »
Yes, I thought the same thing, but maybe he's just grieving that way.  We all grieve in different ways.  Could he be in denial?  Thinking if he rings her phone, she'll answer?  That's so sad.

Chickie, you are so sweet!  We all say things we don't mean when we hurt.   :-\

2chickiebaby

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Re: Went to my friend's funeral today
« Reply #10 on: February 06, 2010, 07:34:16 PM »
Luise, Coco,
They are a middle aged couple, not old and no dementia....they were high school sweethearts and always in love.   He is still in shock and yes, denial......

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Went to my friend's funeral today
« Reply #11 on: February 06, 2010, 07:37:32 PM »
Boy, that's scary. I can't imagine being that out of it. Can you?
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

2chickiebaby

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Re: Went to my friend's funeral today
« Reply #12 on: February 06, 2010, 07:49:18 PM »
I guess you would have had to have been there.  Knowing their love for each other, I understand.  I don't expect him to last very long.  No one does.

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Went to my friend's funeral today
« Reply #13 on: February 06, 2010, 08:29:03 PM »
Well, you were there. I wonder...maybe he just wanted to hear her voice her Voicemail answering message. My friend across the street who found her husband dead at his desk last year, left his message on their home phone Voicemail.  It startles me every time I call her when someone that has passed on...answers. She wouldn't think of parting with it. I guess none of us know what we might do until we are knocked flat with a loss we can't begin to process.

I hope her husband makes it. I've been told that my Val was like that after he lost his wife of 59 years and look what the last 20years have been for him with me...another life, in a way. 

I'm so sorry, C/B.
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

2chickiebaby

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Re: Went to my friend's funeral today
« Reply #14 on: February 07, 2010, 04:15:32 AM »
No, we don't know what we'll do at the time. I think he was exhausted too, which makes us crazy in itself.