Author Topic: Feeling Frustrated  (Read 7965 times)

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Invisible

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Re: Feeling Frustrated
« Reply #30 on: February 02, 2010, 01:52:09 PM »
Coco,

My DIL has hurt beyond words can describe. When she said 'It doesn't get any better than this' ...yes I was very hurt. But she is telling my GD that I didn't even know my son. That hurts. MY son is dead and my DIL is still jealous of my relationship with him. Why else would she say such a thing???

cocobars

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Re: Feeling Frustrated
« Reply #31 on: February 02, 2010, 06:33:51 PM »
I know invisible.  I thought the same thing.  Take care of you!

Then go back in, we're all here for you!

...And watch out for Luise!  She will "ping" you until you've lost 15 pounds, are wearing a beautiful pink dress, and are smiling.  I hope you are!  I would like to see that!

cocobars

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Re: Feeling Frustrated
« Reply #32 on: February 04, 2010, 07:34:57 PM »
Hi invisible!  I haven't heard from you in a few days.  I just want to let you know we are all still thinking about you.  I hope no news is good news, but have no way to tell...

Has anyone told you lately how much you mean?  You do.  You mean everything to one little girl I can think of - even if she doesn't want to tell you that right now.

Has anyone told you how beautiful you are?  You are a sight for sore eyes!  What?  You think hearts like yours grow on trees?
« Last Edit: February 04, 2010, 09:20:03 PM by cocobars »

Hope

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Re: Feeling Frustrated
« Reply #33 on: February 21, 2010, 10:35:38 AM »
Incredible GM,
After reading all the activities you partake with your gd, I can't help but wish I had you for my gm.  Your love really shines through!  My maternal gp's died before my parents married, so I never met them and my faternal gm died when I was 5 - but we didn't share a single special time like you offer your gd regularly.  After reading all your posts in this thread, I can't help but wonder if your dil is using illegal drugs.  I agree with happydays09 - your gd will come back when she's older and want to learn all she can about her dad.  It's human nature.  And you will have your moment of truth - to tell her the story of her loving daddy.  I feel your pain and agree that right now you need a break - time to heal - to take care of your injured soul.   Can you feel my big bear hug? 

Invisible

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Re: Feeling Frustrated
« Reply #34 on: March 11, 2010, 07:33:19 AM »
Than you ...Hope. I needed that big hug.

Incredible GM,
After reading all the activities you partake with your gd, I can't help but wish I had you for my gm.  Your love really shines through!  My maternal gp's died before my parents married, so I never met them and my faternal gm died when I was 5 - but we didn't share a single special time like you offer your gd regularly.  After reading all your posts in this thread, I can't help but wonder if your dil is using illegal drugs.  I agree with happydays09 - your gd will come back when she's older and want to learn all she can about her dad.  It's human nature.  And you will have your moment of truth - to tell her the story of her loving daddy.  I feel your pain and agree that right now you need a break - time to heal - to take care of your injured soul.   Can you feel my big bear hug?

Marilyn

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Re: Feeling Frustrated
« Reply #35 on: March 11, 2010, 07:40:22 AM »
Invisible,so good to see your back!!!
Are you doing ok?I know a lot of us were getting really worried about you.
We missed you.

Offline Pen

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Re: Feeling Frustrated
« Reply #36 on: March 11, 2010, 07:45:32 AM »
It's so good to hear from you, Invisible! {{{hugs}}}
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

RedRose

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Re: Feeling Frustrated
« Reply #37 on: March 11, 2010, 01:08:14 PM »
I missed you Invisible.
More (((hugs)))

cocobars

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Re: Feeling Frustrated
« Reply #38 on: March 11, 2010, 04:24:18 PM »
Me too!  So much!

momX3

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Re: Feeling Frustrated
« Reply #39 on: March 11, 2010, 09:41:16 PM »
Invisible,
My heart breaks for you.  You have endured so much heartache and tragedy.
Only you know how much you can tolerate with the DIL as she sounds like a difficult person.
I believe that you are a wonderful, wonderful Gramma and your GD will realize this as she becomes older.
I also believe that young children are impressionable. When we recall memories of our own Grandparents or Aunts
(or whoever) from the days when we were 7 or 8 years old, it is often those fun times that come to mind when we spent time together baking or taking walks or gardening. 
 
I worked with hospice for a long time.
I do not know if this would help your GD but I was just reminiscing about some of the things that have stayed in my list of memories.

When a family member lost a loved one, some families put a "special container, or trunk, or took up a small area of a room" to honor their loved one.
In this "special" space or container, there were lots of momentos of their loved one.  (School pictures, graduation pictures, favorite toys from childhood, trophies from playing ball, or whatever was special to that person or their family.)
It was always so touching when family members showed me these "special momentos/photos."
I do not believe that your GD will forget all the things that you are doing with her. Maybe if she could see the things that were special to her Dad as a child and young adult, it would help her to see him in a special way. "Life is about creating memories."
Anyway, you are doing a great job as a GM. Don't give up on your granddaughter. You are the only stable person in her life. She is observing you but cannot express her true feelings as death is not someting children can grasp.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.


womenrule123

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Re: Feeling Frustrated
« Reply #40 on: March 31, 2010, 09:04:50 AM »
Hello Invisible! My heart is with you. I am very, very sorry for the passing of your son. I think your GD is very confused about her own feelings and fears of being belittled by her mother if caught mourning.  GD is to young to understand your dil's "adult" tantrums and still needs the support of strong role models within the family. DIL is resentful for her own reasons and needs to get professional guidance (this being her choice). My suggestion is continue to provide a "safe place" filled with love and compassion for your GD. I would back away from showing her pictures and sharing stories of DS for awhile (not forever). I only suggest it because GD may feel uncomfortable because she's confused with her own feelings. In time, GD will open up and ask more questions when she feels more secure. Right now...in GD's mind...her mother knows all and GD desires to be loved by her surviving parent. She already lost one parent and no doubt has fears about losing her mom. I bet you're an amazing grandmother and I bet you have lots to share with your GD. Even if GD is uncomfortable with your hugs...keep doing it. A touch on the shoulder, a gentle rub on the back are simple gestures and won't threaten GD's personal space. If you have a special picture or some other craft your GD created, have it framed and place it on your wall or mantle... GD will notice it (don't point it out). GD will feel special and appreciated without the physical exchange of words! You can't control your dil's "tantrums" but you can control your own actions in your own environment. Your GD will appreciate the "cushion"...that soft place to land as she grows older and gains a better understanding of life in general.
(I had lost my parent's and my first child...I relate through my own experiences as a dd, dil, wife and mother)
Be gentle with yourself! XOXO 
« Last Edit: March 31, 2010, 09:07:51 AM by womenrule123 »