Author Topic: Divorce  (Read 2115 times)

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RedRose

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Divorce
« on: January 25, 2010, 04:50:09 PM »
My son stopped by this afternoon with my grandson....a surprise visit. I knew by the tone in his voice when he called something was wrong.

Well...she asked him for a divorce (2nd time in the 3 1/2 years that they have been married).
I really thought they were working their problems out...long story.

He does seem more in control of the situation this time...he says he is ok with it.

I just hope she doesn't keep my grandson from me. My son promises me he will never let that happen.

2chickiebaby

  • Guest
Re: Divorce
« Reply #1 on: January 25, 2010, 04:53:17 PM »
Rose, I'm so sorry...I really am.  I'm not surprised, though.  He won't let that happen. 

RedRose

  • Guest
Re: Divorce
« Reply #2 on: January 25, 2010, 04:59:40 PM »
Thanks Chickie...I know I'll be there for my son & grandson...he knows that too

Orly

  • Guest
Re: Divorce
« Reply #3 on: January 25, 2010, 05:51:45 PM »
Rose,
I'm sorry to hear of your son's troubles.  I'll be sending the best his way in my thoughts.

cremebrulee

  • Guest
Re: Divorce
« Reply #4 on: January 26, 2010, 10:29:52 AM »
Oh boy, what a terrible hurt for your son...terrible....I'm so sorry Rose...

I hope she doesn't keep your grandson from you either....but, believe me, your son will see her in a whole different light once the divorce starts, he is in for a rude awakening, painful to say the least...so, just be there for him...

You never really know someone, until you go thru divorce...believe me, all the evils come out...and you can't believe you were married to someone like that....

Divorce brings out the true self in people....

Hugs and prayers for you and yours...

Just be there for him, b/c this is going to be very difficult.....

Hugs

RedRose

  • Guest
Re: Divorce
« Reply #5 on: January 26, 2010, 05:59:46 PM »
Thanks everybody.

They have a lot of marital problems. I don't think they can be solved this time. She has hurt him so much. You never know though. 

My daughter just told me that dil is probably really upset that after my husband asked them to leave (they lived with us for a while) last year, my son still kept in contact with me. He still made sure we saw my grandson.
She couldn't control him.

My daughter may be right about this.

2chickiebaby

  • Guest
Re: Divorce
« Reply #6 on: January 26, 2010, 06:13:06 PM »
Rose, that's awsome!!  A man who can't be controlled by these people??  That is wonderful...most people can't help themselves!

may his tribe increase!!

RedRose

  • Guest
Re: Divorce
« Reply #7 on: January 26, 2010, 06:17:58 PM »
Yes...he has made me proud...hope it lasts.

May his tribe increase....a millionfold!!

SunnyDays09

  • Guest
Re: Divorce
« Reply #8 on: January 28, 2010, 01:43:03 PM »
Thanks everybody.

They have a lot of marital problems. I don't think they can be solved this time. She has hurt him so much. You never know though. 

My daughter just told me that dil is probably really upset that after my husband asked them to leave (they lived with us for a while) last year, my son still kept in contact with me. He still made sure we saw my grandson.
She couldn't control him.

My daughter may be right about this.

You have a wonderful son.  I hope all works out for the best and that the dil grows up quick.  The child needs all of the family  not just the ones that dil chooses. 

Hopeful wishes for a wonderful outcome!! 

cocobars

  • Guest
Re: Divorce
« Reply #9 on: January 28, 2010, 05:30:56 PM »
I sure hope this tribe increases.  I know I would like my son back, not living with me,  back in spirit.  I think his spirit has lost its way right now,  been pushed out of him, crushed.  I hope the day comes when I see my son again.  Not dil's version of my son.  His own version of my son.  I miss him.
Oh Anna, this is such a sad thing!  You sound like me!  I just said the same thing to my parents the other day!  I DO KNOW how you are feeling!  I guess both our sons are going through this "thing."  I feel it's encouraging, because I know he was being abused (in the sense that he was/is being manipulated).  I'm also sad, because this is not "MY" son.  I don't know this man she created. 

I think they are hurt!  They need our support and acceptance.  I believe that even though my son got mad and left (but I think he's staying with what's her name (just don't know how to address her anymore right now).  My son's been here about a month (on and off thanks to DIL).  I stay out of his affairs.  He's an adult now (34 years old).  I have just been there for him.

It hasn't been easy.  Even through the separation she's pulling strings and manipulating him.  He is a mess!  All I can do is be there and love him.  I hope he will see what she's doing.  I can't really count on that though.  All I believe I can count on is that he will see how much he is loved here.  I don't care who he's with!  He's my son and I love him, and no matter who he is with - if he's happy, then I am too (I told him this).  I hope it sinks in!

This is really a great opportunity for you to re-connect and knock down boundaries and walls!  I am sure you have thought of that!  I have to be honest with you.  I'm a wee-bit excited that your son is there with you.  I'm sorry he's going through all this, but it's a good thing in a sense. 

He can see that family doesn't forget him!  Family will love him and accept him no matter who he chooses!  I hope that makes a difference the next time around (and I'd bet there will be a next time).

Anna!  you have a second chance with your son, some time!  Take a deep breath.  Now smile...


RedRose

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Re: Divorce
« Reply #10 on: February 08, 2010, 06:06:06 PM »
This is Not going to be easy...my son has an appointment with the attorney this week. 
Sad, but, I guess this is the first step that he needs to do.

cocobars

  • Guest
Re: Divorce
« Reply #11 on: February 09, 2010, 05:23:57 AM »
I know things like this are never easy.  I'm happy you are there for him though - and truth be known, I bet he is too!  He can't get better support than you, Rose!

cremebrulee

  • Guest
Re: Divorce
« Reply #12 on: February 09, 2010, 05:40:23 AM »
I sure hope this tribe increases.  I know I would like my son back, not living with me,  back in spirit.  I think his spirit has lost its way right now,  been pushed out of him, crushed.  I hope the day comes when I see my son again.  Not dil's version of my son.  His own version of my son.  I miss him.

boy Anna, that made huge sense, and what I've been trying to figure out for years...and I totally see it now...thank you....I always, say, this isn't my son...not the one I remember....but yes, he is her version of who he should be....


cremebrulee

  • Guest
Re: Divorce
« Reply #13 on: February 09, 2010, 05:44:56 AM »
This is Not going to be easy...my son has an appointment with the attorney this week. 
Sad, but, I guess this is the first step that he needs to do.

it's going to be very painful....yes, but on the up side, remembering my divorce...from there I went forward, finding myself....no longer blaming him, but more so, self examining....I found all the answers were within me, not him....I self examined, and concluded why my choices were as they were...actually, people do the very best that they can, it's all they know, unfortunately, we don't always make the best choices...and then after we're married we find, we have nothing, but nothing in common with each other...that is why I always say, it's best to be mentally compatible. 

Rose....when he's ready talk to him, and make certain, he doesn't go out and jump into another relationship right away....I hope you can suggest to him, that he needs to take the time to find out, the reasons why he chose her...there have got to be reasons why...and by finding those reasons will help him not make the same mistake again....

Please, keep us posted, and stay strong...hugs to you and yours....Creme

RedRose

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Re: Divorce
« Reply #14 on: February 15, 2010, 05:05:11 PM »
Well...I can't complain about not seeing my son and grandson.
When my son is not working they are here...at least until she moves out of the apartment.

I know everything of what my son has been through during the 3 years of being married...I don't know how it has lasted this long. When I asked him why he stayed...he said, "for my son."