Author Topic: FB sux  (Read 2039 times)

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Offline Smilesback@u

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FB sux
« on: October 09, 2011, 02:40:51 PM »
Does anyone else have a love/hate relationship with FB?  I don't have a long story to share for background on this, other than saying FB shows DIL posts photos of her family, positive remarks about their visits. photos of GC with her family, and I don't see any with me?  I think I am not getting my fair share.  I visit too, after all, and the GC have fun with me -- but not one photo-How can that be?  Like my life didn't matter?  I know I am reading into it, and I will gracefully say that I hate when I whine.  I have decided that I will not get involved with DIL FB other than thumbs up - no comments, except to say how sweet the GC look.  I don't get thank yous for presents to DIL except on FB and that sux too I think -- so I am done.  Next year DIL bdays are going to be a cards-only.  Or some high-calorie sweet - sorry, couldn't help myself there.  Just wanted to get that off my chest and hope someone understands how I feel.   

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Offline Doe

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Re: FB sux
« Reply #1 on: October 09, 2011, 02:48:14 PM »
lol - DIL posted some awful photos of me on FB and I asked her to take them down but as far as I know, she didn't.  I don't like to have my photos there, even good ones.   
How about DS?  Get him to post your photos there!


Offline Smilesback@u

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Re: FB sux
« Reply #2 on: October 09, 2011, 02:50:41 PM »
Yes, are those photos of me what I would want on FB?  I think it best to be careful what I wish for, yeah?

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Offline lancaster lady

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Re: FB sux
« Reply #3 on: October 09, 2011, 02:55:47 PM »
hi  :)......

You can hide all DIL posts from your FB , she won't know you have done this , that's what I have done .
I too was  invisible from any of my DIL FB posts , what you can't see won't hurt you .
so when she says to me did you see xxxx on my FB , I say no I am never on it ...!
FB started WW3 amongst my family , I do not post anything questionable or make comments .
I just read what my friends and family are up to , and post birthdays that sort of thing .
It can be wonderful , or it can be dangerous .

Offline Smilesback@u

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Re: FB sux
« Reply #4 on: October 09, 2011, 03:07:01 PM »
Yes, I think I am going to follow what you do.  No I am never on FB and make invisible the posts.  thanks,

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Offline Pooh

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Re: FB sux
« Reply #5 on: October 10, 2011, 05:13:50 AM »
Just post all the naked baby pics you have of your DS on there....yep, yep....that's what I would do...   ;D

I understand Smiles.  It used to irk me to no end when DIL didn't post a single photo of my side of the family after events, but her FOO was featured.  Or she would untag any photos I tagged to her that included her and DS.  It would make me so mad!  Then she deleted me and I was even more mad! Lol.  But I have to say, after I got over it, it was nice not seeing the constant reminders and after I decided to delete her Mother months later....even better!  So follow LL's advice and hide the posts.

I do love my FB.  It has allowed me to stay in touch with long distance friends and family and see my beautiful great-nieces as they are growing up.  It's not FB that is bad, it's how people choose to use it.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

sesamejane

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Re: FB sux
« Reply #6 on: October 10, 2011, 10:53:20 AM »
I like FB and enjoy keeping up with everyone's interest.  But I have friended very few family members!!   ;)

Offline Scoop

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Re: FB sux
« Reply #7 on: October 11, 2011, 06:59:16 AM »
I don't know, I have a weird DIL view on this.  For me, my MIL is not my Mom, I don't have an emotional attachment to her (in fact, she's a thorn on my side).  Why would I want to put her pics on *MY* FB?  Why do I even want to take pictures of her in the first place?  If my DH wants pictures of his M, he can take them.  If he wants to post them, he can.

Another thing, I'm very picky about what pics I post on FB.  I would never post someone's picture without their permission.  I also wouldn't post pictures of DD if they were at all questionable (underpants, bathing suit ect).  There are some creepy people out there!

My MIL is getting more and more internet savvy, I just know she's going to get on FB eventually.  I'm trying to figure out HOW I'm going to tell her that I won't be her friend. 

Offline Doe

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Re: FB sux
« Reply #8 on: October 11, 2011, 07:02:09 AM »
Maybe just not mention FB around her and if she asks, tell her you don't spend much time there and don't get around to acking her friend request.  I'm agreeing more with you that MILs/DILs shouldn't get invested in each others' FB accounts. 

MoonChild

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Re: FB sux
« Reply #9 on: October 11, 2011, 12:33:40 PM »
Hello to All, it has been awhile. I often hear, especially on thsi site, of issues arising from the use of Facebook. My opinion and stance - Do not use Facebook. I personally do not think that FB is a positive tool. FB originated as being a place for college students to connect with each other - you could only browse and connect with people who you attended college with or you had to know their first and last name, then it became accessible to everyone and that is where all of the problems began. FB is supposed to be a place to connect with friends. I believe most would consider there to be a clear separation between the life they share with their friends and the life they share with their families, and this is where the issues arise. Most young adults would never think of denying a request from their parents or even that from the parents of their significant other, but upon accepting that request they are ''letting them into their world' and it may not always be what parents want to see.

Offline Pen

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Re: FB sux
« Reply #10 on: October 11, 2011, 07:58:34 PM »
I miss a lot by not being on FB, but it's just not worth the potential problems. My DS does not want me on, and oddly enough my DIL said if I joined she would friend me even if DS would not. All the AC I know wish their DMs had never joined or friended them, lol. I can live w/o it.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

sesamejane

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Re: FB sux
« Reply #11 on: October 11, 2011, 10:05:33 PM »
Pen, truth is we can *all* live without it!  : )))


amflautist

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Re: FB sux
« Reply #12 on: October 12, 2011, 06:08:48 AM »
Smiles, remember what Luise says.  It's not about you, it's about them.  In this case, when choosing pictures to put on FB, your DIL was choosing pictures in which she looked good, her family looked good, etc.  I doubt she is intentionally slighting you.  At least she acknowledges your gifts on FB!  (My DIL doesn't acknowledge them at all.) 

amflautist

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Re: FB sux
« Reply #13 on: October 12, 2011, 06:10:25 AM »
P.S.  Send her the whole cake! 

Offline Smilesback@u

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Re: FB sux
« Reply #14 on: October 12, 2011, 06:59:37 AM »
Hi I realize I am mad about something I cannot change and that makes me feel stupid.  Thank you for your support to realize I do have to change here.  Could be worse, and I have some inside work to do on myself.  I want to be a happy person and deal with stress in a healthy way.  A lot of this stress is my doing by how I look at it.  I have hidden posts from DIL so I will not be tempted to get involved.  I have my own life to enjoy, and realize I am beautiful just the way I am.  I don't need my children's approval (or their wives).  I am a good parent, and GP and will ignore any remarks to the contrary.  Thinking that way is a good start anyways and now I will make my behavior fall in line with those thoughts.  Thanks for your loving and understanding.

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