Author Topic: Should I pay her?  (Read 1060 times)

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liz

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Should I pay her?
« on: January 11, 2010, 10:10:53 AM »
I'm not really sure where to put this, so I put it here. My mil made a beautiful, soft, thick blanket (crochet) for her couch and I commented on how pretty and soft it was. She mentioned she would make one for our new house (we're under construction). So a few weeks ago I asked where I could find the yarn so I could pay for it. Yesterday she showed me the catalogue and circled the item where I could order it online for much less than what she paid for in the store. I am so excited about this blanket, but it's going to take her a couple of weeks to make (she said it took that long for hers), should I offer to pay her for her time or would that offend her? If I do pay her for her time, how much should I offer? I definitely don't want to take advantage of her offer any way. Thanks!

cocobars

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Re: Should I pay her?
« Reply #1 on: January 11, 2010, 10:18:19 AM »
Hi Liz!

I would tell her that you would like to pay her for her time, because you understand the amount of time that goes into one of these beautiful afghans.  Then let her decide.  I don't think wanting to pay for that is offensive.

This is made by hand.  It's not like something you would be able to buy in a store, and in the stores that you can buy handmade crochet or knit items, they are a fortune!  Have you looked into the handmade knits from Ireland lately?  What do you think?

Orly

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Re: Should I pay her?
« Reply #2 on: January 11, 2010, 12:57:23 PM »
Offer to pay her for her time too, then let her either demur or accept your offer.    Going rates for handmade items is usually 4 to 5 times the cost of your materials used.  Sometimes, if it is a difficult or intricate item you add more to the cost of making  it.


mom2

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Re: Should I pay her?
« Reply #3 on: January 11, 2010, 07:47:01 PM »
Liz.
How sweet of you to realize the time your mil would have to put into the blanket !

I know if it was me... I'd just be honored that you liked it and wanted one! ( I would do it for nothing and consider it my blessing ).

cremebrulee

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Re: Should I pay her?
« Reply #4 on: January 12, 2010, 04:14:51 AM »
I'm not really sure where to put this, so I put it here. My mil made a beautiful, soft, thick blanket (crochet) for her couch and I commented on how pretty and soft it was. She mentioned she would make one for our new house (we're under construction). So a few weeks ago I asked where I could find the yarn so I could pay for it. Yesterday she showed me the catalogue and circled the item where I could order it online for much less than what she paid for in the store. I am so excited about this blanket, but it's going to take her a couple of weeks to make (she said it took that long for hers), should I offer to pay her for her time or would that offend her? If I do pay her for her time, how much should I offer? I definitely don't want to take advantage of her offer any way. Thanks!

I'm going to reply to this, before reading any other comments...

Me, I love to give gifts...and making something like that, is a very special thing that your MIL is doing for you.  So, I would say to her, when discussing this issue again...I'd really like to pay you for your time...if she says yes, then ask her what would be fair....if she says no, respect that, thank her with your heart, and then, go out and purchase a gift for her, say, a free massage on you....facial, on you, pedicure on you or dinner and a movie tickets for her and hubby.  But do something special for her....send it in a thank you card...and sign it, I am so lucky to have a MIL who would take the time to make such a beautiful gift for me....or something to that effect....


But, remember, that's just me....?  But I feel, if someone goes to the trouble to give you a gift, it is imparitive, you thank you, with a thank you note...or a phone call...

2chickiebaby

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Re: Should I pay her?
« Reply #5 on: January 12, 2010, 04:23:14 AM »
This might be just me but regarding the blanket?  I'd say a heartfelt, "thank you with all my heart and I will treasure this forever. It means the world to me and the fact that it was handmade means so much to me.  I will hand it down to my children"..., etc.

I know my words are dramatic but say it in your own words.  I think that's all she wants and needs.....to be shown how much this means to you and that she's made a keepsake to be handed down forever.  She needs to feel like she's important.

It seems to me that it might be an insult (maybe not) for you to pay for it or even offer to pay for it.  A thank you, THANK YOU card is what she needs to let her know how much this cherished, handmade blanket means.

That's just me. 

Offline Pen

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Re: Should I pay her?
« Reply #6 on: January 12, 2010, 06:45:52 AM »
Not knowing your MIL's financial situation I can only comment on how I would feel about the offer of money for the blanket. Instead of money I would want to know how appreciated I am and how much the blanket means to DIL & DS, like Chickie said. If DIL wanted me to teach her to crochet because my work inspired her, I'd be thrilled to have a hobby in common and a reason to spend time together. If that isn't possible, perhaps an informal commitment from DS & DIL to spend time with MIL on a regular basis doing something everyone enjoys would be payment enough.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb