Author Topic: Introducing myself...  (Read 2205 times)

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liz

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Introducing myself...
« on: January 05, 2010, 08:00:01 PM »
I've already posted a few times and ya'll may be wondering why I'm here. I'm a mom of two little ones, married to a wonderful husband and father. My mom lives 12 hours away, my dad and step mom 2 and my il's live 20 minutes away. I only had the strange/odd things happen with mil here and there, nothing too frustrating, until I had my oldest. Things started happening left and right until I'm now at the point to where I don't tell her much (she sees the kids every Sunday at least so it's not like I'm keeping her from them) and I'm very careful with what I say. Only when she has said something/done something that directly negatively affects one or both the kids have dh or I said anything to her, but I certainly feel/think it if nothing gets said to her or dh about it. I wasn't sure if I was over reacting so I sought out answers and found "the other site" and of course I get affirmation even though my mil is no where near as toxic as theirs is. But the negativity there really started to get to me, not to mention being told to grow a spine is pretty harsh, so I found this site and it looks like it gives me the balance I might need to help me determine if I'm over reacting to things. So as I think of things that have happened I may post about them to get your opinions.

cremebrulee

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Re: Introducing myself...
« Reply #1 on: January 06, 2010, 07:40:21 AM »
welcome Liz, good to meet you...

when something your in question about happens or has happened...post the issue at hand or something your troubled about, and you will get a lot of wise thoughts from the ladies here.....

In the meantime...welcome!

Creme

cocobars

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Re: Introducing myself...
« Reply #2 on: January 06, 2010, 07:44:47 AM »
Hello Liz,

Welcome!  I agree with creme.  I don't know really what to tell you without examples of the problems you have been having.  None of us here are experts, especially not me, but we do really care about every one who posts here.

Tula

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Re: Introducing myself...
« Reply #3 on: January 18, 2010, 03:30:04 PM »
I'm new to the board, not sure where to post next.  I'm here seeking support, answers, analogy, anything, that can help me cope with my daughter's hatred towards me.  If someone would....please point me in the right direction.  Thanks.

2chickiebaby

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Re: Introducing myself...
« Reply #4 on: January 18, 2010, 03:42:55 PM »
Tula,
I've never had a Daughter but I just know that someone on here can help.  Glad you're here.

Tula

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Re: Introducing myself...
« Reply #5 on: January 18, 2010, 03:57:35 PM »
Thank you chickiebaby.  I guess I'll find an area and post.

2chickiebaby

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Re: Introducing myself...
« Reply #6 on: January 18, 2010, 04:05:09 PM »
Post away, Tula.... :)

2chickiebaby

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Re: Introducing myself...
« Reply #7 on: January 18, 2010, 04:23:16 PM »
Tula,
Just put your post anywhere...like under Daughterinlaw/son in law....we will find you

Invisible

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Re: Introducing myself...
« Reply #8 on: January 19, 2010, 07:21:29 PM »
Welcome Liz,

We are all just stumbling around in the dark....trying to understand our relationships. I guess you would say I am an ex-MIL . My son died 28 months ago and I am trying to understand my relationship with my DIL. 

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Introducing myself...
« Reply #9 on: January 19, 2010, 07:53:30 PM »
Another welcome from soggy Washington State. Lets us know what you are up against and we will give you feed-back, for sure.

And Invisible...is there a thread about you losing your son? If so under what section and title? I lost my son and was left with the DIL from Hell and may be able to relate.
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

Invisible

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Re: Introducing myself...
« Reply #10 on: January 23, 2010, 08:43:21 AM »
luise.volta,

I am so sorry for your loss. No I did not start a thread about my losing my son. He died as a result of a motorcycle accident. If you have the DIL from hell perhaps she is the sister of my DIL.

Since my son died 28 months ago. My DIL has twice been formally charged with child abuse. I only have one GD. Right after my son died she refused to allow me to see her. Friends asked if I could see my GD and she would say, "F" her. She has written me letter telling I am all "F" up and I am going to hell. She has told my GD I am not a grandmother only a MIL. I have to explain to my GD over and over again how I fit into the family.

Because my DIL is a "party girl" and often likes to go away on trips to attend concerts and to meet guys from the internet, she tolerates me only because I am a "free "baby sitter. However, I am not allowed to attend family functions nor to give gifts to my GD.

My relationship with my GD "limited" to time spent, roller skating, bowling, riding bikes, arts and crafts, going to the zoo, circus and museums.  This is good for my GD because her mother refuses to spend time with her daughter.  She will not even read a story book or take her to a park. Time spent with my GD is great. However, my DIL is jealous of me and  is afraid of my relationship with my GD.  It is a dreadful situation. I walk a fine line. I know my relationship can be denied at anytime. The State does not recognize grandparent rights. So I must be very careful not to offend her fragile self esteem.


Another welcome from soggy Washington State. Lets us know what you are up against and we will give you feed-back, for sure.

And Invisible...is there a thread about you losing your son? If so under what section and title? I lost my son and was left with the DIL from Hell and may be able to relate.

cocobars

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Re: Introducing myself...
« Reply #11 on: January 23, 2010, 09:16:55 PM »
Invisible, you are that lit candle in the dark!  You just keep burning because you are "hope!"  You are doing the right thing.  I know it doesn't feel like it some, well, most days but your GD will always know you and who you really are inside, because of the love you are showing her now.  Just hang on to that and don't lose it...

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Introducing myself...
« Reply #12 on: January 23, 2010, 09:24:49 PM »
Invisible, thanks for filling me in. What a sad story and how valiant you are. Love triumphs, even when we don't know how that is going to work. Bless you heart for offering that child a positive influence. Losing your son must be a heavy weight to carry. It is for me and it's been 10 years. Blessings, always.
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

Invisible

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Re: Introducing myself...
« Reply #13 on: January 24, 2010, 07:54:44 AM »
Cocobars,
I think of my son every moment of everyday. I am doing this for my son and my GD. I know my son would want me to try to be a positive influence in my GD's life.

luise.volta,
I don't feel very valiant. I pray everyday to see my son again. I love my son and want to do the right thing but sometimes the problems in life seem to be insurmountable.

I am so sorry you lost your son. I know your pain. Ten years is like a blink of an eye. I spoke with a man who lost his son 50 years ago. You know that man started to cry as he spoke about the death of his son.  It is just not the normal progression of life for a parent to bury their children.

 
Invisible, thanks for filling me in. What a sad story and how valiant you are. Love triumphs, even when we don't know how that is going to work. Bless you heart for offering that child a positive influence. Losing your son must be a heavy weight to carry. It is for me and it's been 10 years. Blessings, always.

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Introducing myself...
« Reply #14 on: January 24, 2010, 07:05:34 PM »
That's my picture of valiant. And no, it doesn't feel that way, I know.
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher