Author Topic: Child Abuse: A waiting game.  (Read 6940 times)

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Invisible

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Child Abuse: A waiting game.
« on: December 21, 2009, 08:18:24 AM »
Since my son died 27 months ago, my DIL has been formally charged twice with child abuse. They have told her one more time and she will go to jail. She drinks consumes illegal drugs and is extremely self centered. She has covered her self with tattoos. My granddaughter spends more time in a tattoo shop than any where else. The mouth on this women would make a sailor blush.

I know she will get caught again is a matter of time. Several months ago, I had my granddaughter over and asked her how she bruised her arms. My granddaughter told me her mom picked her up by her arms and threw her on the sofa. I should have called but I didn't.....

I know the abuse will happen again .. not if just a matter of when. I am just waiting......

2chickiebaby

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Re: Child Abuse: A waiting game.
« Reply #1 on: December 21, 2009, 08:23:26 AM »
OH!!!! NO!!!  I am sick about this~~!   :'(

Invisible

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Re: Child Abuse: A waiting game.
« Reply #2 on: December 21, 2009, 12:07:42 PM »
This waiting game is difficult. Everytime my granddaughter is over I reaffirm my love, telling her she always is wanted and can stay with me. She gets a big smile on her face. She was always her daddy's girl. Since he died she is having behavior issues in and out of school. All I can do is tell her I am here if she needs me.

cremebrulee

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Re: Child Abuse: A waiting game.
« Reply #3 on: December 21, 2009, 12:38:56 PM »
Since my son died 27 months ago, my DIL has been formally charged twice with child abuse. They have told her one more time and she will go to jail. She drinks consumes illegal drugs and is extremely self centered. She has covered her self with tattoos. My granddaughter spends more time in a tattoo shop than any where else. The mouth on this women would make a sailor blush.

I know she will get caught again is a matter of time. Several months ago, I had my granddaughter over and asked her how she bruised her arms. My granddaughter told me her mom picked her up by her arms and threw her on the sofa. I should have called but I didn't.....

I know the abuse will happen again .. not if just a matter of when. I am just waiting......

Lord, I'm so so sorry you've experienced this...stay strong and as you say, keep reassuring her...this same thing happened to a friend of mine, it was a long road...but she obtained custody...she said, she felt as if that was her purpose, to be here for her grand daughter. 

Thank God she has you....please know your in my thoughts and prayers...

Invisible

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Re: Child Abuse: A waiting game.
« Reply #4 on: December 21, 2009, 01:51:41 PM »
My DIL would not give up custody easily. There is money involved. I think she receives about 3,000. dollars per month in social security death benefits. DIL would definitely fight to keep custody. Like you said ...I am just waiting.  I told her I would raise my granddaughter the answer was no.

I taught my granddaughter how to ride a bike and how to roller skate. We do arts and crafts together. Recently, I took her to see the circus for the first time. Her mother takes her to tattoo shops and to the mall. DIL is spending my sons inheritance and the money from his insurance policy. A fool and (her) money is soon parted. I predict it will take her about 5 years to spend the money. The situation makes me so angry.... All I can do is wait for the cards to fall. In life ...All we can be assured of is change.

cremebrulee

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Re: Child Abuse: A waiting game.
« Reply #5 on: December 21, 2009, 02:19:24 PM »
My DIL would not give up custody easily. There is money involved. I think she receives about 3,000. dollars per month in social security death benefits. DIL would definitely fight to keep custody. Like you said ...I am just waiting.  I told her I would raise my granddaughter the answer was no.

I taught my granddaughter how to ride a bike and how to roller skate. We do arts and crafts together. Recently, I took her to see the circus for the first time. Her mother takes her to tattoo shops and to the mall. DIL is spending my sons inheritance and the money from his insurance policy. A fool and (her) money is soon parted. I predict it will take her about 5 years to spend the money. The situation makes me so angry.... All I can do is wait for the cards to fall. In life ...All we can be assured of is change.

My son's step mother used to beat him and verbally abuse him...it was a long long long road...so I do know what your going thru...yes, the money will be gone and I fear she will come to you for money, play upon your love for your GD and use her as the need for that money...maybe that is when you should hire a lawyer...perhaps when she's really down and out, she will sign your GD over to you...God bless you dearheart...no child should ever have to go through something like that...

I still remember Jesus saying..."Woe to those who harm one hair on this child's head"

2chickiebaby

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Re: Child Abuse: A waiting game.
« Reply #6 on: December 21, 2009, 02:21:49 PM »
Invisible....this just breaks my heart!  For you and for your Granddaughter.  I want you to know that a Grandmother is the most wonderful influence on earth!!  My Mother died when I was young so I lived with her.  If it had not been for her, I don't know what would have happened to me.

My father was just a bad man.  I think that's why my Mother had to die....she had no way to get away from him.

I just want you to know that you can be the best thing that ever happened to your Granddaughter, living with you or not.  Be her teacher and guide, whenever you get to be with her;  it will stick, it will forever and ever.  It did in me. 

A Grandmother is usually one of the few people, other than a child's parents who really love that child unconditionally, with real vested interest in that child. 

Many blessings, Invisible...you are not invisible here.   :)

cremebrulee

  • Guest
Re: Child Abuse: A waiting game.
« Reply #7 on: December 21, 2009, 03:08:55 PM »
Children who have many role models in they're lives, such as GP, Aunts, uncles, etc...and spend time with them, seem to be more socialble kids and adults...they get to choose who they would like to be like...they learn they're are different rules in different households...they learn the diversity of love, and know they are loved....they are more secure and confident...

Invisible

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Re: Child Abuse: A waiting game.
« Reply #8 on: December 22, 2009, 07:49:59 AM »
I try to tell my GD how much her Daddy and I love her. Even if he is not here he still loves her. MY DIL speaks badly about her dad and of course me. I think DIL wants to be the center of her daughter's world. She wants all of her daughter's love. DIL is very controlling, domineering....she is a bully. It is a very sick situation.  I am afraid my GD will be swayed by her mother's views. GD repeats all her mother's negative comments.

cremebrulee

  • Guest
Re: Child Abuse: A waiting game.
« Reply #9 on: December 23, 2009, 10:10:16 AM »
I try to tell my GD how much her Daddy and I love her. Even if he is not here he still loves her. MY DIL speaks badly about her dad and of course me. I think DIL wants to be the center of her daughter's world. She wants all of her daughter's love. DIL is very controlling, domineering....she is a bully. It is a very sick situation.  I am afraid my GD will be swayed by her mother's views. GD repeats all her mother's negative comments.

Invisible...you said in one of your posts, that your DIL would not give up her child easily...yanno, she may not have a choice...I was watching a program this morning...and they said, when the mother is no longer available to the child, the grandparents if they're able, are granted custody....so don't give up hope....

Hugs Creme

Invisible

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Re: Child Abuse: A waiting game.
« Reply #10 on: December 24, 2009, 04:00:16 PM »
Cream...Hope is all I have. Yes, she has been charged twice with child abuse. The 3rd time will be very serious for my DIL.  She has been assigned a social worker. Everyone is aware of the situation.

I am here watching and waiting.

I try to tell my GD how much her Daddy and I love her. Even if he is not here he still loves her. MY DIL speaks badly about her dad and of course me. I think DIL wants to be the center of her daughter's world. She wants all of her daughter's love. DIL is very controlling, domineering....she is a bully. It is a very sick situation.  I am afraid my GD will be swayed by her mother's views. GD repeats all her mother's negative comments.

Invisible...you said in one of your posts, that your DIL would not give up her child easily...yanno, she may not have a choice...I was watching a program this morning...and they said, when the mother is no longer available to the child, the grandparents if they're able, are granted custody....so don't give up hope....

Hugs Creme

cremebrulee

  • Guest
Re: Child Abuse: A waiting game.
« Reply #11 on: December 28, 2009, 04:54:22 AM »
Just know you and your GD are in my thoughts and prayers...please keep us posted....
love ya
Creme

Invisible

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Re: Child Abuse: A waiting game.
« Reply #12 on: January 04, 2010, 04:44:20 PM »
I had my GD over the weekend. Twice she cowered in fear when I moved quickly. I told her I just moving my arm. Once I was getting the remote for the television. She thought I was going to hit her. She is reacting like an abused child. Yes, I know she is abused but knowing it and seeing how it is affecting her is heart breaking.

2chickiebaby

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Re: Child Abuse: A waiting game.
« Reply #13 on: January 04, 2010, 04:53:27 PM »
I can't tell you how much that hurts me for her!  No child should have to endure this.  Your love for her is most likely all she has!!  I wish something could be done, Invisible~! 

RedRose

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Re: Child Abuse: A waiting game.
« Reply #14 on: January 04, 2010, 06:59:09 PM »
Try to have your Grandaughter with you as much as possible and away from her mother. This is so heartbreaking.