Author Topic: My funny story for the week...  (Read 903 times)

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Offline Pooh

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My funny story for the week...
« on: June 23, 2011, 08:09:31 AM »
I have been sitting here this morning in tears, I have been laughing so hard at my DH.  I have to give you the long background story so you will understand the humor in this.

When DH and I got married in 2009, it was two weeks before my YS went into the military.  He had asked me to marry him in June, but we were in no hurry to plan a wedding.  In August, my YS joined the military and was scheduled to leave towards the end of November.  He sat on our couch one evening and said, "I would really like to be there when you two get married."  DH kind of looks at me and said, "Well I guess we better plan a wedding then."  So whirlwind of planning and we set it for the middle of November.

During this period, my YS had visitation with his DD.  In October, he started getting her every other weekend.  I wanted her to be at the wedding too, so we scheduled it on a weekend he would have her.  DH still had visitation at that time with his DD, and it would also be a weekend we had her.  So we knew by doing this that our wedding night would be spent with his DD, my YS and my GD.  We calculated that we would rather have them all there and go on a honeymoon a later after YS left.  We also knew we could only schedule a weekend away, as I didn't have enough vacation to do an entire week (since I changed jobs in April to move to where DH was).  So everything was planned, we rented a cabin in the mountains 3 weekends out and had a beautiful wedding.

After the wedding and YS left, we were both excited for our weekend honeymoon.  The cabin had a huge hot tub on the bottom patio (and was a secluded cabin in the mountains) and when we arrived, the first thing we did was check the water temperature.  They had left it on a maintenance temperature, so it was around 72 degrees.  There were instructions that said to turn it up to 92, and it should take about 4 hours to get it there.  I immediately turned it up and told DH, by tomorrow it should be good to go.  (We arrived late Friday evening).  I had brought candles, rose petals and a romantic CD.  I had this vision of Saturday night spent in the hot tub, after dark.  So we enjoyed Saturday afternoon around the quaint town, had a great dinner and went back to the cabin towards evening.  I went out and prepared my surprise, placing candles everywhere, the rose petals, towels and moved the CD player outside.  I had everything lit up and ready for our romantic evening.  When it got dark, I went out and lit the candles, turned the CD player on, went back inside and put on a sexy robe (I will not get into details, but the robe was it!)  This was the first week of December, in the mountains and it was around 38 degrees outside.  I went into the living room, smiled at him and said "You need to get ready and meet me in the hot tub."  Then I went downstairs, disrobed and climbed in.  Oh, it was heaven.  He came out in a minute, looked around and grinned real big.  He climbed in and sunk down.  I was so proud of myself, and we were on opposite sides of the hot tub, grinning like a couple of teenagers.  The hot water felt wonderful and it was so relaxing and he said, "We need one of these at home."  We had been in such a whirlwind for months and this was the first opportunity we had to just relax.

We had been in there for about two minutes, relaxing, when in the woods there was a large "snap" of a branch and we could hear something moving around.  We both sat up quickly and was staring out there.  We heard it again and now he is whispering "What in the world...".  I jokingly said, "Do bears like hot water?"  He looked at me as the noise got closer and got out two words "That's not...." when all of a sudden........AAAARRRRROOOOOOOHHH!  I mean it sounded like it was right next to us and we both screamed.  Then it was about seven AAARRRROOOOOOOHHHHHSSSSS all at the same time and we could see the outline of the animals about 50 feet from us, at the edge of the yard!  You have never seen two people move so fast in your life!  He jumps over the edge of the hot tub, tripping on the steps and going sprawling across the concrete because of his wet feet.  I'm dangling over the edge hoping he's not hurt and he jumps up, grabs my arm and pulls me out.  We are skidding and sliding and diving for the patio doors as they are still AAAARRRRRROOOOOOHHHHHHING away!  We dive in the doors, I'm still screaming and land on the carpet, soaking wet and shaking from the cold.  We just laid there for about 10 minutes, freezing but trying to get our breath back when DH finally mutters, "This is why I normally carry a gun".  I lost it.  I couldn't quit laughing.  Here I had planned this romantic evening for three weeks and it ended with us sprawled naked, wet, freezing, shaking and hoping we didn't break anything.  I could hear the music coming from the CD and I couldn't quit laughing.  The AAAAARRRROOOOOOHHHHSSS are still loud and they are moving around the patio.  We finally looked out and there were about 10 coyotes, just walking around howling.  We ran upstairs and they finally moved on and we laughed the rest of the night.

So, the last couple of weeks at the house, we have been hearing noises in the backyard in the evenings when we grill.   We have a wooded tree line and live in a big subdivision.  We have lots of bunnies and squirrels, so we have been ignoring it.  Last night, we were out grilling late and we heard it again.  DH said, "That's no bunny, that's too loud."  We kept glancing towards the treeline and finally DH whispers, "Look" and points.  We could see two yellow eyes at the edge of the treeline.  We both thought maybe a big cat and it just stayed there, no noise.  So we finished grilling, went in and it disappeared. 

I get to work this morning, and my text message goes off.  It says, "I went out to clean the grill after you left and heard the noise again.  I turned to look, and there's a coyote standing there looking at me!  Honey, THEY FOUND US!!!!!"
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline elsieshaye

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Re: My funny story for the week...
« Reply #1 on: June 23, 2011, 08:30:20 AM »
Hahahaha!  I have a mental picture of a Coyote Private Detective doing deed searches on you, fedora shoved back on his head, glass of whiskey near his paw.
This too shall pass.  All is well.

Offline FAFE

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Re: My funny story for the week...
« Reply #2 on: June 23, 2011, 08:43:06 AM »
That story would have made a wonderful Youtube sensation!  Caption would read, Honey They Found Us. 

Offline luise.volta

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Re: My funny story for the week...
« Reply #3 on: June 23, 2011, 08:59:26 AM »
I am sitting here at my iMac laughing so hard the tears are running down my face! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

Sassy

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Re: My funny story for the week...
« Reply #4 on: June 23, 2011, 09:14:10 AM »
LOL...you've got fans! 

Offline Pooh

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Re: My funny story for the week...
« Reply #5 on: June 23, 2011, 09:47:17 AM »
It would have made for a great video, except we couldn't have shown it to anyone!  I would have killed to have been home this morning when he turned and saw that coyote!
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline Nana

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Re: My funny story for the week...
« Reply #6 on: June 23, 2011, 12:44:20 PM »
Oh Pooh...that is what happens when we make plans....They say that when we make plans, God is smiling (or laughing).   It was very funny..... I am in tears also.

Thanks for sharing.  Have a great day

Love
Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove:
Shakespeare

Offline pam1

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Re: My funny story for the week...
« Reply #7 on: June 23, 2011, 12:46:47 PM »
omg, I have tears streaming down my face.  So funny.
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift