Author Topic: Cut from the Herd SIL on TV  (Read 1454 times)

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Sassy

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Cut from the Herd SIL on TV
« on: May 18, 2011, 06:22:04 AM »
I went to my friend’s house and she showed me a TV show she recorded.  My friend and I talk about family relationships and ILs regularly, so she wanted me to see it.  Wow.  It’s a "reality show" about family, but not family friendly (it's on basic cable, language is bleeped out).  Its called  The Real Housewives of New Jersey.  There is a young, beautiful, and painfully insecure sister-in-law on the show who is a living breathing example of a “Cut From The Herd” SIL.  She appears also to be a DIL like that, though all that was shown was some time between her husband and his father.  The CFTH SIL tries to make her husband jealous of his own father’s relationship with his sister’s husband.  The rivalry and competition CFTH sister-in-law positions against her husband's sister is jaw dropping.  The list of injustices the CFTH SIL seeks out, she and her husband keep and nurse. Some of them are invented. (The sister’s husband turns down a shot of vodka while explaining he hasn’t eaten yet, and it’s taken as a hostile gesture).  CFTH SIL tries to place multiple wedges between her husband and his sister, tapping into old sibling rivalry.  The set-up the CFTH SIL and her husband arranged to intentionally humiliate the sister.  (Inviting someone to a Christening with the intention of ignoring them as revenge for the times he felt ignored).  The scapegoating when it backfires.   The CFTH SIL’s husband is not a strong or secure man, and is easily angered.  He loves his wife and believes her woven and repeated stories of victim-hood.   Yes there are two sides to every story.  This is only part of the story, and filmed for TV.   Several grains of salt taken!  But if there were any doubts a young woman can and will sometimes intentionally drive a wedge between a man and his family, watching this will remove the doubt.  (It is not for the faint of heart).  If anyone else has seen it, I would be interested in discussing it in terms of In Law relationships.

Offline pam1

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Re: Cut from the Herd SIL on TV
« Reply #1 on: May 18, 2011, 06:27:54 AM »
I haven't watched the new season of Jersey housewives...is this Teresa we are talking about?

I know for the new season that they've added her sister in laws to pump up the drama.  And she's bankrupt so the show is her money, to stay on these type of shows they have to manufacture a lot of drama....
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

Offline Pooh

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Re: Cut from the Herd SIL on TV
« Reply #2 on: May 18, 2011, 06:33:55 AM »
I think of these reality tv shows as I used to think of wrestling when I was younger.  I knew much of it was fake but it was very entertaining to see what people would go through for money.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Sassy

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Re: Cut from the Herd SIL on TV
« Reply #3 on: May 18, 2011, 08:31:41 AM »
Yes, Teresa is name of the sister.   I guess she's been on the series a few years.  Teresa's brother's wife is the CFTH SIL (can't remember her name).  Also there are some of CFTH SIL's sisters at the Christening.   Teresa and her brother's first Cousin (name?) is a cast member.  The Cousin tries to appear like she is a mediator who wants to bring the family together, but her own resentment of Teresa comes through. 

My friend said the show has made mention of Teresa's problems with her brother and SIL in the past, but this is the first time they joined to be on the show.

Yes it is like wrestling!  My heart was racing.  She had to rewind a few parts more than once, so we could figure out who actually started what ruckus.

LaurieS

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Re: Cut from the Herd SIL on TV
« Reply #4 on: May 18, 2011, 09:24:40 AM »
I think of these reality tv shows as I used to think of wrestling when I was younger.  I knew much of it was fake but it was very entertaining to see what people would go through for money.

I don't know who any of that can be interesting.. I'd rather watch the Dog Whisperer

Offline Pooh

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Re: Cut from the Herd SIL on TV
« Reply #5 on: May 18, 2011, 09:27:26 AM »
I think of these reality tv shows as I used to think of wrestling when I was younger.  I knew much of it was fake but it was very entertaining to see what people would go through for money.

I don't know who any of that can be interesting.. I'd rather watch the Dog Whisperer

Well you know me, I like Wipeout, American Pickers, Pawn Stars, American Idol, Glee....I'm entertained easily.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

AnonymousDIL

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Re: Cut from the Herd SIL on TV
« Reply #6 on: May 18, 2011, 09:30:36 AM »
I think of these reality tv shows as I used to think of wrestling when I was younger.  I knew much of it was fake but it was very entertaining to see what people would go through for money.

I don't know who any of that can be interesting.. I'd rather watch the Dog Whisperer

Well you know me, I like Wipeout, American Pickers, Pawn Stars, American Idol, Glee....I'm entertained easily.

Glee was interupted for us last night. Guess I'll have to see what I missed online.... And Pawn Stars is addictive! Tivo decided that I would like to watch it. Well, Tivo was RIGHT!

LaurieS

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Re: Cut from the Herd SIL on TV
« Reply #7 on: May 18, 2011, 09:35:38 AM »
pawn star is that code for porn star?

AnonymousDIL

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Re: Cut from the Herd SIL on TV
« Reply #8 on: May 18, 2011, 09:38:30 AM »
Shhhh! Luise isn't supposed to know that! lol

People seriously take their stuff and try to pawn it at this huge pawn shop. They bring in outside sources to authenticate it and everything. it is really cool because it gives you a LOT of history and random facts that might appear in trivial pursuit... lol

LaurieS

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Re: Cut from the Herd SIL on TV
« Reply #9 on: May 18, 2011, 09:44:08 AM »
isn't that the same as antiques roadhouse

Offline elsieshaye

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Re: Cut from the Herd SIL on TV
« Reply #10 on: May 18, 2011, 09:46:41 AM »
Yes, but in the same way that Sons of Anarchy is like Dynasty. :)
This too shall pass.  All is well.

Offline Pooh

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Re: Cut from the Herd SIL on TV
« Reply #11 on: May 18, 2011, 09:47:17 AM »
Yes, but in the same way that Sons of Anarchy is like Dynasty. :)

Ha ha ha ha!
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

LaurieS

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Re: Cut from the Herd SIL on TV
« Reply #12 on: May 18, 2011, 09:51:24 AM »
I guess I need to get off the computer and watch more tv

Offline elsieshaye

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Re: Cut from the Herd SIL on TV
« Reply #13 on: May 18, 2011, 09:55:13 AM »
With Hulu.com and Netflix, your computer can -be- your TV! Which, actually, is probably worse since there's no real excuse then to go do other things, lol.  I don't have cable, and haven't turned my TV on in about 3 years (I only know it still works b/c my son's game console is hooked up to it).
This too shall pass.  All is well.

holliberri

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Re: Cut from the Herd SIL on TV
« Reply #14 on: May 19, 2011, 07:07:54 PM »
Finally got caught up on RHONJ...what can I say? I am a bit of a voyeur...

Everyone seems equally culpable in that situation. At times, it seems like the SIL, and then it seems like Teresa is the issue. Then, time goes on and it almost seems like a brother/brother-in-law issue. For as much as they talk about how they love family and "blood first," you would think they all would know how to let things go. I saw a couple themes:

1. Rules/expecatations about what another person's supposed to because of their title (sister, brother, sister in law, etc).
2. Assumptions about what you couldn't possibly know (she wanted to make me late, she went home to fight with her DH, he turned my father away from me).
3. Reading way too much into things. (He turned away from me).
4. Competition (which I'm guessing was totally baited anyhow), but I imagine that goes on in some families.
5. Zero ownership of what one did to contribute to the mess in the first place.
6. Grudges. OMW. Grudges. Total inability to move on.
7. "Done me wrong" mentalities....ugh. These people seem like very "me" people...as if the world owes them a favor.
8. Exaggerations. Yep. Gross exaggerations at that.

In fact the brother and brother in law are almost one in the same, and the sister and sister in law are almost one in the same too. Maybe that is a big part of the problem. My favorite housewife even said that (and yes, I think she has a heart of gold but  will likely make a very interfering MIL someday...haha...I still want to be adopted by the Manzo family!).

Add a total lack of consideration for all of the other family members they supposedly "love" and voila. They spoke so many times of unconditional love only coming from family...and looking at this family...I don't buy that. With "family" like that...who needs enemies? There was no love there. Except for self-love. This family seems like it works much better when everyone is on a break from one another. I can see why cutoff may be the only alternative for some.

Vapid to boot. Ick.

I had a couple takeaways...I'm going to stop drudging up all of the bad stuff that happened. If I really do move past things like I say I do, I think I'd stop talking about them. I'm not sure I had much expectations to begin with, so I can't change that. Competition was never my thing...so that's a relief. LOL.  I'm always trying to work on not reading too much into things. I've gotten better, but man, I don't know that I'll stop that completely. That has been tough. Assumptions...that's a biggie too.

What I would give for an independent third party to just monitor my interactions with MIL so they could give me the unbiased version of what is really going on. I watched tonight and all I thought was, "No, that didn't really happen...you're saying it happened like that, but how could you believe it happened like that?" It wasn't just one person...it was all of them...each played an equal role.