FMIL And The Wedding

[overwhelmed123]

Haha, he is too cute!

[pam1]

lol Laurie.  My DH wore his wedding band as soon as it was ready.  Maybe they can go shop for his now.

[AnonymousDIL]

ADIL- she had a wedding cake business, but used cake mix?

I guess she isn't as fabulous a she thinks she is? LOL

I wanted a Rainbow Chip cake. It was my FAVORITE growing up. It ended up not being this way because MIL couldn't get the white icing to cover it completely so the colors still showed through which I would have LOVED, but instead of asking me on that one she put too muich icing on it and then the bottom layer couldn't support the weight and the whole thing collapsed and we ended up with plain cake (I'm kinda thinking this was planned.... lol). And then the day of, the groom topper tried to commit suiced! It fell off and broke off his leg, ripped off the side of the cake. They "glued" the cake back together with extra icing and tied the leg back on with black ribbon and shoved their butts on top instead of at the edge.

We didn't have a grooms cake. MIL did make sheet cakes for the guests. She put little rosebuds on EVERY piece. I told her it seemed like an awful lot to go through for cakes that no one would see. She wanted me to have them on display with the wedding cake. Um I don't think so!

Thank God it's over! LOL

[lancaster lady]

wedding Cake ;
found out that THE wedding cake is going to be ....
one layer vanilla , one layer chocolate , one layer carrot .....YUM ....
wonder if I'll get a taste ??

[Pen]

LL, that sounds yummy. Make sure you get a great big piece at the reception!

We weren't involved in any of those sorts of preparations either when DS married, just paid our bills and kept quiet. DS did get to choose the venue/menu for the rehearsal luncheon, and although we paid for it we were not invited to sample beforehand. I was kind of hoping DH & I could choose the venue/menu since we were supposedly the hosts, but never got the chance. To the guests it appeared that the bride's FOO had arranged it and paid for it. Oh well.

[overwhelmed123]

That's pretty sad, Pen.  It wasn't even made clear in a public thank you to you guys or anything?  I just can't even imagine.  My MIL sent out the invitations and made sure to say it was hosted by her, and I was fine with that because it was her deal.  What did the bride's FOO do that made it seem like they hosted?

[LaurieS]

Often it's what they didn't do... with my son's rehearsal the event was requested by the bride-to-be to be held at her grandparents.. nice suggestion... but yes everyone assumed that held in her families home, their family was more comfortable in the surroundings and lead the party.. so yeah the assumption was made.  My son did thank us as he thanked everyone for being there.  To me it wasn't a big deal.. I knew what we were doing for the kids, and I knew that they appreciated our efforts.. that was really enough in our case

[lancaster lady]

Well Pen :
Just little snippets I keep getting fed , think they are after my money ...lol

[AnonymousDIL]

We hosted our own rehearsal dinner. We had pizzas (cheap, yes I know, but after everything else we were spending....). It was delivered, paid for via credit card and MIL had to interupt the rehearsal to get DH to sign (it was his business CC which she was authorized to sign for). Any help would have been greatly appreciated on our part.

Did I already say this? THANK GOD IT'S OVER!!! LOL

[Pen]

That's pretty sad, Pen.  It wasn't even made clear in a public thank you to you guys or anything?  I just can't even imagine.  My MIL sent out the invitations and made sure to say it was hosted by her, and I was fine with that because it was her deal.  What did the bride's FOO do that made it seem like they hosted?

As Laurie said, some of it was what they didn't do. The luncheon was held at the same venue as next day's wedding. As I said, DS picked the venue but we had no input. I don't know if his FILs suggested it or not. After DH stood and made a little speech welcoming everyone, he spoke graciously about DIL & her FOO, thanked her Ps in advance for the wedding, etc. w/o making a big deal out of our involvement. When DIL's DF got up to speak he didn't mention us or thank us for our contributions or for "hosting" the rehearsal luncheon. We didn't know at the time how they felt about us, but shortly after the wedding we were shunned.

[AnonymousDIL]

That's pretty sad, Pen.  It wasn't even made clear in a public thank you to you guys or anything?  I just can't even imagine.  My MIL sent out the invitations and made sure to say it was hosted by her, and I was fine with that because it was her deal.  What did the bride's FOO do that made it seem like they hosted?

As Laurie said, some of it was what they didn't do. The luncheon was held at the same venue as next day's wedding. As I said, DS picked the venue but we had no input. I don't know if his FILs suggested it or not. After DH stood and made a little speech welcoming everyone, he spoke graciously about DIL & her FOO, thanked her Ps in advance for the wedding, etc. w/o making a big deal out of our involvement. When DIL's DF got up to speak he didn't mention us or thank us for our contributions or for "hosting" the rehearsal luncheon. We didn't know at the time how they felt about us, but shortly after the wedding we were shunned.

Every time I read your story I get sad, then mad, then sad, then mad. I wish I could knock some sense into your DIL. 

[Pen]

ADIL, thanks for your thoughts. I wish you could have the ILs of your dreams! It's so frustrating to read these stories and know that with just a little less self-centeredness and a little more compassion a lot of our DIL/MIL pain and suffering would be greatly diminished.

[holliberri]

True that. 

[LaurieS]

ADIL, thanks for your thoughts. I wish you could have the ILs of your dreams! It's so frustrating to read these stories and know that with just a little less self-centeredness and a little more compassion a lot of our DIL/MIL pain and suffering would be greatly diminished.

but all to often those who are being self-centered feel justified and then it's actually supported and validated by others... so those who are being self-centered will not change because they do not feel that they are in the wrong.

[Pooh]

As someone great said: True that.