Author Topic: Happy  (Read 1196 times)

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AnonymousDIL

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Happy
« on: May 12, 2011, 06:09:49 AM »
Ladies,
I am feeling wonderful. Absolutely wonderful! Things aren’t better with DB. We had sent them an apology for my passive aggressive remark and DH’s calling SIL out as a liar. DB responded with the most passive aggressive, self-righteous, hogwash that I had ever read. Basically said (obviously an interpretation) “That’s right, you should apologize. My wife and I have NEVER done anything wrong in our lives EVER and deserve your worship so when you are ready to come over and kiss our butts, we will listen to you grovel.”
Well, we did not respond. We will not respond. Until they escape from their “I am God, Worship ME” delusion, nothing can be done. But, I actually feel amazing about it. I don’t miss him at all. I am not sad at all. I’m starting to think maybe there is something wrong with me, but know what? I don’t care! Because I am VERY VERY happy!
Soooo, I wasn’t sure if this was a “success story” because technically it isn’t a success and I do hope that someday my brother comes around, but I have just eliminated all expectations for that to happen. And with those expectations, bye-bye stress and tension migraines!

Offline pam1

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Re: Happy
« Reply #1 on: May 12, 2011, 08:00:53 AM »
That's good to hear, ADIL!  It means in your heart you know you did the right thing and tried your best :)  You're a good doobie
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

Offline Pooh

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Re: Happy
« Reply #2 on: May 12, 2011, 08:16:25 AM »
There is nothing wrong with you ADIL.  You were the better people and wrote the apology to try and get some peace with them, and they have no interest in it unless it's done their way only.  So you did the right thing and can now move on knowing it's their problem (although we already knew that).  So you have every right to feel good about your decision.  Nothing wrong with moving on and choosing not to deal with their verbal abuse.  That is a success!
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline Pen

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Re: Happy
« Reply #3 on: May 12, 2011, 08:18:20 AM »
ADIL, do you still love him but not like him?

It is a success story if you're making progress and feeling good about it, IMHO. But you can still post it in Grab Bag, LOL.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

AnonymousDIL

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Re: Happy
« Reply #4 on: May 12, 2011, 08:53:58 AM »
ADIL, do you still love him but not like him?

You hit the nail on the head, Pen.... Although his response to DH was that he does not care for him at all, as in complete indifference. I think that is what made the decision so easy for me.

But, as much as I would like to treat DB with the same indifference, I can't. He's my brother, always will be even if he married THAT lol and thinks that he is better than me and wants nothing to do with me.... Well, nothing to do with my DH, and we are a package deal.

Offline lancaster lady

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Re: Happy
« Reply #5 on: May 12, 2011, 09:00:45 AM »
I always wonder .......when some  single people become attached , they totally change , and mostly not for the better !

AnonymousDIL

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Re: Happy
« Reply #6 on: May 12, 2011, 09:09:40 AM »
I always wonder .......when some  single people become attached , they totally change , and mostly not for the better !

I think it is because they now have a second person  who tells them they are always right! LOL

When DH and I married, I think we both changed for the better. DH has no problem telling me when I am wrong, and the same goes for me. Yes, I'll always support him, but that doesn't mean I'll always agree with him or like the decision.

Offline Pooh

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Re: Happy
« Reply #7 on: May 12, 2011, 09:18:20 AM »
I always wonder .......when some  single people become attached , they totally change , and mostly not for the better !

I think it is because they now have a second person  who tells them they are always right! LOL

When DH and I married, I think we both changed for the better. DH has no problem telling me when I am wrong, and the same goes for me. Yes, I'll always support him, but that doesn't mean I'll always agree with him or like the decision.

That's how me and DH roll too.  If he was treating anyone as badly as most of us have been treated, I would be the first one to stand up and tell him he was wrong.  He would do the same.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Happy
« Reply #8 on: May 12, 2011, 09:45:49 AM »
Yay, team!  :D :D :D
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

holliberri

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Re: Happy
« Reply #9 on: May 12, 2011, 09:55:33 AM »
Glad you're finding acceptance, ADil. That's probably the path of least resistance, it's just hard getting there.

Sassy

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Re: Happy
« Reply #10 on: May 13, 2011, 05:23:23 AM »
Winning!  :)

Offline themuffin

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Re: Happy
« Reply #11 on: May 13, 2011, 08:55:04 AM »
Winning!  :)

LOL Sassy, that always makes me chuckle! ;D

ADIL, Good for you!!!  And you had me LOL at work at your interpretation of your DB's response.   ;D  That was priceless!

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