Author Topic: Mothers' Day  (Read 5149 times)

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Offline jill

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Mothers' Day
« on: May 04, 2011, 08:46:32 PM »
Hi everyone,
I was just wondering how all you moms who are estranged from your adult children are feeling, and how you will handle Mothers' Day this weekend.  I know I will not see my ODD, not sure about YDD, but this is the day we are supposed to be celebrated and treasured.  I have been feeling down all week because of this, and can't wait for it to be over.   I always used to spend it with my dds.     It is especially hard when friends ask "How are you spending Mothers' Day?  I'd love to hear from my WWU sisters on this.....................Jill

Offline Pen

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Re: Mothers' Day
« Reply #1 on: May 04, 2011, 10:21:22 PM »
{{{Hugs}}}Jill, I too am not looking forward to Sunday. The ads on TV & elsewhere get everyone all worked up and there's no escaping the well-wishers who assume we're all being feted like crazy. I too wish it was over. Sad, isn't it? But that's kind of how I feel about all holidays and celebrations anymore - used to love them, now I dread them.

My kids are not estranged, so I am grateful for that. It's difficult to know DS is spending the day w/DIL's mom & FOO with a big celebration like every Mother's Day since they married. I try not to let it bother me and I make sure I treat myself to something (DH always says "You're not my mother" but one of these days he'll figure out it would be cheaper for him to encourage the kids to do something than to let me loose on my own), but it still hurts.

We moms put in a lot of years doing our best for our kids, and it's nice to be shown appreciation every now & then. I don't ordinarily care about it being on The Day, but why am I always the one giving in? When is it DIL's mom's turn to take the back seat to me? And why can't DH let me know that he appreciates the good mothering I gave his children? I show him appreciation on Father's Day.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Offline Nana

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Re: Mothers' Day
« Reply #2 on: May 04, 2011, 11:17:07 PM »
Jill and Pen--- I wish someday...you will be compensated for all that has been taken away from you.... the right to be loved and acknowledged by your children.
But remember Ladies....you are wonderful mothers and are worth a million.  Your children will understand this sooner or later. 

I also look forward to Mother's day being over.  I really dont have a good reason but it is how I feel this day.  We all get together in mil's house with my sisters-in-law, husbands, children.   It is all about my mil who I love dearly.  My son/dil and daughters are there too.   We always disagree on what we are going to eat, at what time, etc.   So its not my favorite day. 

I feel sad for you dear Ladies who are distanced from your children.  You all deserve to be happy and feel appreciated, at least this day.   My husband also always says...that I am not his mother so he is really more concerned about his mom.  It doesnt matter, my Birthday is this month also and this will be my day lol. 

I am sending you all Mothers a big hug...and the best wishes for you all.....Miracles Happen

Love
Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove:
Shakespeare

Kennedy

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Re: Mothers' Day
« Reply #3 on: May 05, 2011, 04:38:47 AM »
I along with Nana want to send you two ladies and any of the others that need it, "A HUGE SWEET HUG!! FOR MOM'S DAY" It made me sad to read your post Jill and your reply Pen!   :(
I have to wonder how anyone could spend a special day like "Mother's Day" with someone else's Mom and not think of their own? That boggles my mind to say the least.
I remember many,many moons ago , When my husband also made the comment about how I wasn't his Mother. I laid into him! It was along time ago but I still remember most of what I said, And so does he! I just ask him. (We are at this moment sitting at our kitchen table with "hot" coffee! Yummy! He's finishing up his breakfast and I read this post to him.)
 I remember telling him when our oldest was about 5 years old that it didn't have a *blanking* thing to do with if I was *his* Mother or not!  He has a home full of Son's that need to be taught how a *Man* treats a woman. That was a job only he could do. So it isn't that *I* want your $1.00 card. I want you to teach our children to think of someone besides them selves once and awhile and that everyone deserves to be appreciated!
So we didn't have any more issues with this subject.  ;)
Doesn't it just blow your mind sometimes how Men think? Geeezzz!

Offline pam1

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Re: Mothers' Day
« Reply #4 on: May 05, 2011, 05:36:57 AM »
Kennedy, I love that philosophy and say that to DH all the time.  My DD is watching everything and this is how she will learn to let her spouse treat her.

People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

LaurieS

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Re: Mothers' Day
« Reply #5 on: May 05, 2011, 06:09:30 AM »
I could have sworn that Mother's Day was last Sunday... after seeing this post I had to look it up and hmmm it really is this upcoming Sunday.  I may or may not get a call from my son in Japan as he will probably be as clueless as I as to when it actually is.

I guess that once again I'm an oddity here, as this holiday has no real significance to me.  Maybe when the kids were younger  but I was busy even then trying to teach them that everyday is Mother's Day :)   

Offline Pen

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Re: Mothers' Day
« Reply #6 on: May 05, 2011, 07:38:39 AM »
Right on, Laurie  ;D  Whether we do it ourselves (I love my new shoes/handbag) or are lucky enough to have others do it (new Coach bag mom, please stand up!)
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Offline pam1

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Re: Mothers' Day
« Reply #7 on: May 05, 2011, 07:53:13 AM »
As a kid I'd always ask when it was going to be Kids Day, my dad told me that was every day lol.

Yeah, I'm not much for celebrating the hallmark holidays, I'm just excited for whatever DD brings home from school.  And I just like the regular dandelion picking days anyway.
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

Offline Pen

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Re: Mothers' Day
« Reply #8 on: May 05, 2011, 07:58:00 AM »
Oh Pam, I miss those days..I loved getting school projects and wildflower bouquets. They were the best!
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Offline Rose799

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Re: Mothers' Day
« Reply #9 on: May 05, 2011, 08:09:47 AM »
I dread holidays because it’s becoming increasingly more difficult to keep my happy face on.  Sometimes I just feel like doing the “ugly cry” while sitting on that queen-for-the-day throne.  Either my blinders are defective or it's time for an attitude adjustment!  :-\    ;)

LaurieS

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Re: Mothers' Day
« Reply #10 on: May 05, 2011, 08:13:53 AM »
I have a few cherished gifts that my kids made or purchased for me, these items I keep on a special shelf in my closet that I can look at each day as I'm dressing.  Not a one of these were actual Mother's Day gifts, or President's Day, Secretary's Day, or even Easter and Christmas... they all represent a moment in my kids lives when I was at the tip top of their minds... when no one was encouraging them to think  about Mom, but they were thinking of me anyway.  That is what makes a gift special to me.. my most cherished from my boys is a coffee mug with a dinosaur on it.. We had just moved into our new home the boys went exploring and came back and secretly pool together some money.  They went back  to the florist shop and bought me this mug they saw because they know how much I enjoy my coffee and well you all  know that dinosaurs are my favorite creatures. (do not tell son even now that they are not my favorite creatures) on their way home the stopped and picked a nice size bouquet of fresh flowers to put into my cup, daisy's, roses, the most beautiful definitely not wild growing in the field kind of flowers.  It was worth the tongue lashing that I took from the florist shop which is also a nursery.  I retired that mug just 2  years ago and placed it on the shelf with other items that I would like to be buried with one day... Hallmark can keep their cards and I never want a forced gift, I honestly did not realize that Mother's Day had not passed and I have no intentions of really celebrating the day. 

One of my cup toting sons was here last week, he left yesterday and suddenly the house was quiet again and I felt really sad for a few hours.. but this morning I had my coffee in that mug, washed it and placed it back on the shelf..

Offline Pen

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Re: Mothers' Day
« Reply #11 on: May 05, 2011, 08:18:40 AM »
Mani/pedi needed here, Rose! Take yourself out for a nice lunch, some pampering (my kids used to think I was going to be wearing diapers while getting my hair done) and some time to reconnect with your inner goddess (the woman you were before kids.) Yeah, it sounds shallow, but it gets the job done. And you'll be much more attractive w/o mascara running down your face, LOL.

Laurie, you're absolutely right. I love that story, BTW. I can just picture it. What hurts me is knowing ('cos they always tell me) that DIL's FOO comes first. I must get over it, and although I am improving it still gets me every now & then. I'm going to focus on those treasures from years past, thanks for the tip.

Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Offline pam1

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Re: Mothers' Day
« Reply #12 on: May 05, 2011, 08:24:53 AM »
That is a sweet story Laurie.
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

Offline Rose799

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Re: Mothers' Day
« Reply #13 on: May 05, 2011, 08:30:29 AM »
Thanks Pen, that sounds wonderful!  I was concerned it might require something more along the line of a 2x4 up against the side of my head...   ;)

Offline Pen

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Re: Mothers' Day
« Reply #14 on: May 05, 2011, 08:32:43 AM »
There's probably a 2 X 4 option at some nail salons, you never know  :D
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb