Author Topic: Big Life Changes  (Read 972 times)

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Sunny1

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Big Life Changes
« on: April 26, 2011, 06:20:21 AM »
Hi Ladies.  :) I feel like it's been ages since I've been on this site. So much has happened since I was last on I really don't know where to begin.  ??? My hubby and I were near divorce over his mother, but after lots of counseling things have really come a long way.

And now my husband is even saying at this point, that maybe we went thru such difficult times  with his mother because we had something even bigger to face in the future. Well...looks like the future has hit.

My family has been dealing with my alcoholic sister for over a decade and it looks like it has finally come to a head. My sister has a son who is 14, who came home from school last month to find his mother drunk again (she had taken off work to drink all day, she is a degreed professional believe it or not) Anyway, my nephew confronted her and things got heated. Things culminated that night that eventually got my sister arrested at my house and I am suddenly getting custody of a 14 year old!!

Talk about a sudden life change.

I have a 15 year son whom I have had shared custody of since he was two. My current husband and I married three years ago today, (yep, it's also our anniversary!) He has no children of his own, but I can't believe how amazing he has been about all of this. It's been a whirlwind. We have a custody hearing in a week, and I feel like I am going to explode.

Sorry gals...I'm really just venting, but thanks for listening.
 


AnonymousDIL

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Re: Big Life Changes
« Reply #1 on: April 26, 2011, 06:40:03 AM »
First, Happy Anniversary! Second, You WILL get through this!  ;)

Offline Pooh

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Re: Big Life Changes
« Reply #2 on: April 26, 2011, 06:43:43 AM »
So good to see you Sunny1 but I am so sorry things are so stressful for you right now.  I am glad to hear that you and DH are doing better and have worked through things.  I feel very bad for your nephew and you are a very good person to be taking over custody.  It must be heartbreaking for you to see him go through this.  To have your life change directions is very hard, but you are a very strong person and have a big heart.  Kudos to you and your DH for taking this on.  I am sure the nephew will get benefit greatly from having a more stable home environment.

I wish you the best of luck and keep coming in to vent.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline pam1

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Re: Big Life Changes
« Reply #3 on: April 26, 2011, 06:48:49 AM »
Sunny1, good on you and your family.   
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

holliberri

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Re: Big Life Changes
« Reply #4 on: April 26, 2011, 07:05:58 AM »
I'm sure you have no doubt you're doing the right thing. It is probably hard now, but this is probably the only way it WILL get better.  :)

LaurieS

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Re: Big Life Changes
« Reply #5 on: April 26, 2011, 07:35:09 AM »
I hope your sister gets the help she needs and can eventually be a mother again to her son... until then keep him safe.. you are really not alone.

Alcoholism, drug addiction often require tough intervention before being viewed as the problem that it has become.  I'm glad your sister is to the point of realizing that she may lose everything in life that she loves.. before she accidentally takes the life of someone she doesn't even know...   Until then..  this boy needs all the love you can give, I can't imagine the things he's had to live with and hide from the world. 

Sunny1

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Re: Big Life Changes
« Reply #6 on: April 26, 2011, 08:41:13 AM »
Thanks everyone...I know that things will get better. And I have no doubt that we are doing the right thing. It's just difficult because it's my twin sister.

She's had multiple arrests in the past, but conveniently has had literally everything expunged from her record, including an accident from five years ago that nearly killed her son. For that one she had felony charges against her, but paid big bucks to an attorney and was friends with the officer that went to the scene. The officer said he never recieved his court subpeonas and moved out of state. What's the luck of that happening? Needless to say, all of her charges were dropped, they had no choice. She really thinks that she is above the law. It's frustrating. Child protective really dropped the ball last time and they know and admitted it, so they're not letting it slide this time at all.

I just really hope things can calm down to help provide a sense of normalcy for all of us, especially my nephew.

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Big Life Changes
« Reply #7 on: April 26, 2011, 08:42:30 AM »
We're all here for you. Sending love...
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

Offline FAFE

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Re: Big Life Changes
« Reply #8 on: April 26, 2011, 08:48:01 AM »
Happy Anniversary!  I'm sure you'll be great with your nephew.  I'm sure he needs the stability you can offer him.  Glad you and your husband did not let his mother win!

Offline lancaster lady

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Re: Big Life Changes
« Reply #9 on: April 26, 2011, 10:47:35 AM »
sunny 1 ......
do you know why your sister drinks ....how sad for her son and you , and her !
I hope she realises she now needs help , and gets it .
how awful for her boy to see all that , he's going to need loads of help , he's lucky he's got you , and you DH
who sounds great too .
Good luck Sunny , you'll make it work .