Author Topic: What's everyone going to be doing for Christmas?  (Read 1741 times)

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2chickiebaby

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What's everyone going to be doing for Christmas?
« on: November 13, 2009, 08:54:56 AM »
I hope we all have a wonderful Christmas this year.  Wondering what you all are going to be doing?   I know we talked about Thanksgiving but Christmas comes so soon after that.  Sometimes I think it's too soon.

I made special stockings for each of the Grandkids and have had them so long.  Each one is different and I think they all like them the best.  They're nothing really special....

Offline Pen

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Re: What's everyone going to be doing for Christmas?
« Reply #1 on: November 13, 2009, 09:07:19 AM »
The original plan was to trade off; last year DILs family got Christmas, this year we do. However, DIL's family still gets a week with them since they take their whole family on a Christmas-time vacation every year. Like I said in another thread, we can't compete. DH and I would take off on our own, but we have our DDD (dear disabled daughter) for only a couple of days at Christmas and we can't miss that.

We'll see how Thanksgiving goes - will DIL even show? I still don't know how she can after the awful things she's said about us. If they don't show for T-day, I'm not going all out for them at Christmas since they may not show. I was going to have stockings, etc. since DS was disappointed last year when they finally showed up after their week with DILs family and there were none. I told him stockings were for people who were here for Christmas Eve and Day, not trying to be b****y, just reasonable. It doesn't make sense, especially since we're all adults :)
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
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AnnieB

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Re: What's everyone going to be doing for Christmas?
« Reply #2 on: November 13, 2009, 09:30:53 AM »
I love the stocking idea :)  My youngest is now 18, so that is mostly what we will do.

Not sure what the plan is with my closest married son and DIL and 9 yr. old grandson.  Last year (right after they got married) they went to visit my son's dad and family in another state. 

Any of the time during the two week school break they had here was spent with her family and then her son also had to spend time with his dad and family.  I got virtually no time with them except a couple of hours when the two of them came to town to visit friends and stopped by - we had a short gift exchange, but my gs wasn't with them so they took his presents home. 

It was very disappointing, my youngest had spent a lot of time and his money picking a game gift for his nephew and I bought gifts for my gs, but we never got to see him open them or enjoy.    They somehow just don't get that we needed/wanted to be part of that, so I need to tell them. 

Not sure what they are doing this year, or if we will be included.  We have friends (two families we consider our other family) who we will spend an evening with.   

As to my far away son and the DIL who still is not speaking to me (4 months later) I have no idea.  I'll send gifts as usual but not sure they will want to do the skype call we used to do. 

If my second son and his wife aren't around,  it will almost just be another day.   We'll do church Christmas Eve like we always do, but no big dinner during the day == we may just sleep in late, then go to the movies.

I had hoped grandchildren would help when the nest was emptying but it just isn't simple.  Their lives can be complex, trying to gather with everyone.  I've encouraged my DIL (nearby one) to consider making her house the hub and make us all come there, rather than them trying to run around and visit everyone.  But it isn't that simple, given visitation schedules and one set of grandparents who are several states away.

 


Offline luise.volta

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Re: What's everyone going to be doing for Christmas?
« Reply #3 on: November 16, 2009, 03:21:54 PM »
We have had Christmas and all other holidays for the last 15 years with our former DIL and her DH but they are splitting up. She has moved away and he's going to his folks. It will be very strange not to have them with us. They have always had a tough time of it but when she was rear-ended two years ago by an 18 wheeler and sustained brain damage...it just all fell apart. Sad.

We have a young couple coming from New Mexico to have Christmas with us. Well, that's not why they're coming but they have set the mid-day aside for us and we will eat a traditional Christmas dinner at our campus restaurant.  :)
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

SunnyDays09

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Re: What's everyone going to be doing for Christmas?
« Reply #4 on: December 03, 2009, 07:49:19 AM »
Well my dd is back home so it will be very nice to be together again. 
   
   I love the decorating aspect of the holidays!! :)   With dh just getting back to work my abilities have been somewhat lessened this year.  DD and I went to williams sonoma last night and saw a nutcracker display.  Well, that did it for me-- I have a collection from years ago that I will use this year.
    I only bought two kitchen towels for the display.  I will use what I have -- man is money tight!  OUCH. 

  But we are together.  The first one since 04!!!    (I am very thankful there won't be anyone that has such a rotten negative disposition that they would sit there while opening gifts and say "ewww".  No more.  Never again.  I am blessed)

2chickiebaby

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Re: What's everyone going to be doing for Christmas?
« Reply #5 on: December 03, 2009, 08:03:02 AM »
When you think about what she said, "EEEEW", etc....it is such horrible behavior that she belongs in an institution or a barn somewhere.  I can imagine how much you don't miss that!!

lilyofthevalley

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Re: What's everyone going to be doing for Christmas?
« Reply #6 on: December 03, 2009, 07:20:24 PM »
Our family does it's big Christmas thing the day before Epiphany (the 12th night).  Obviously when the kids were young, we did it on Christmas Day, but it was moved a while back because it just made things a bit easier.  If we're in town on Christmas Day, we do gifts on that day and eat a meal together, but stockings and other items are put off until 12th night and we have prime rib and potatoes and King Cake.   This year, my husband, son, and I are taking a Christmas cruise to Jamaica over the actual day of Christmas, and then we'll be getting together with my son, DIL, GC, DD, and her BF on the 12th night for our real celebration.  I can't wait!

mom2

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Re: What's everyone going to be doing for Christmas?
« Reply #7 on: December 05, 2009, 09:21:47 PM »
So far.. We have planned on a nice Christmas dinner and gift giving ( ds/dil's ) idea. Hope nothing changes but will keep you all posted.

Wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas !!

                       P.S  we will all have Christmas stories huh ?

2chickiebaby

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Re: What's everyone going to be doing for Christmas?
« Reply #8 on: December 06, 2009, 05:37:25 AM »
We should have lots of stories on here about Christmas.  Close DIL said, "let's go see (distant DIL) them!!  I was thrilled because I want so much for distant DIL to feel like she's wanted in our lives. 

As badly as she has acted, I'm thinking the poor thing doesn't have a lot of social skills.  She is a wonderful Mother, though and a wonderul wife.  (very bossy but hey, he loves it, I guess)

Please think of us, if you will at Christmas and I will think of all of you. I want it so much to go well.  I want distant DIL to feel really good about being with all of us.  The cousins need that too. 

We plan to go after Christmas, maybe the day after, and be with them so they can have their stocking, specially made by me!!!  Each one is different and each has unique little gifts inside.  I found some 'yester year' things.  They love those stockings!  They have their names on them.  That's what they run for at first!!

We give each DIL money to get them what they want.  They run for the stockings, though!!!

I called distant DIL this past week.  She wanted to know where her money was for the kids, right off the bat.  Oy vey!!! Can we be blunt?   ???

I chose to ignore it and told her it was in the mail....which it is.  I'm going to not take anything she says or does personally anymore.   It's not aimed at me!  It just feels like it.   :-X


just2baccepted

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Re: What's everyone going to be doing for Christmas?
« Reply #9 on: December 06, 2009, 12:04:15 PM »
We should have lots of stories on here about Christmas.  Close DIL said, "let's go see (distant DIL) them!!  I was thrilled because I want so much for distant DIL to feel like she's wanted in our lives. 

As badly as she has acted, I'm thinking the poor thing doesn't have a lot of social skills.  She is a wonderful Mother, though and a wonderul wife.  (very bossy but hey, he loves it, I guess)

Please think of us, if you will at Christmas and I will think of all of you. I want it so much to go well.  I want distant DIL to feel really good about being with all of us.  The cousins need that too. 

We plan to go after Christmas, maybe the day after, and be with them so they can have their stocking, specially made by me!!!  Each one is different and each has unique little gifts inside.  I found some 'yester year' things.  They love those stockings!  They have their names on them.  That's what they run for at first!!

We give each DIL money to get them what they want.  They run for the stockings, though!!!

I called distant DIL this past week.  She wanted to know where her money was for the kids, right off the bat.  Oy vey!!! Can we be blunt?   ???

I chose to ignore it and told her it was in the mail....which it is.  I'm going to not take anything she says or does personally anymore.   It's not aimed at me!  It just feels like it.   :-X

Wow  that's an intertesting new take on your situation.  I think your counseling is helping you see things better and differently.  I think if you and me both look at our situations as something must have happened to our IL for them to behave this way.  I know that my MIL had a very overbearing mom and her father was accused of sexual abuse by two family members, so who knows what her childhood was like right?  Same with your DIL, maybe if you tried to feel sympathy for her and maybe her past then you might be able to not take what she does so personally.  But it really sounds to me like you may already be on your way to that and I think that's great.

Now here's my turn to feel sorry for myself.  My IL's never get me a card or gift for any holiday or birthday or anything.  Of course every year DH gets a nice card and a $50 check from them.  I ought to cash that check and spend it on one of things MIL doesn't like me buying like a pair of shoes.  Just kidding, that would make DH mad.  And when my dad died from cancer about six years and neither one of them acknowledged his death, it was like he didn't even die.  They didn't send a card and they didn't say a word to me when I saw them again like,"Oh I'm so sorry about your dad." Nothing.  I just assume its b/c well in their minds I'm not apart of the family.