Author Topic: WWU saved me, pls don't shut down.  (Read 780 times)

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courtney

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WWU saved me, pls don't shut down.
« on: April 16, 2011, 03:13:57 AM »
Hi all. I haven't posted in awhile, but I was coming here to read most daily.Then I wasn't even having time to come and read for a few weeks because I am actually getting a life now...mostly all thanks to this site!
   Before Christmas I was a mess, toatally wrapped up in sadness, wasn't even going to festivities...then I found this site. I wasn't alone. That made a difference. Also Luise saying, 'you are looking for logic, but she's not being logical'. That made a big impression on me.
  Tonight reading Julia's posts in Grabbag, I saw:
"WWU has saved me from a life of guilt and blame and has taught me that I am important, believe in myself,  what our adult children think of us is there's to own not mine, and so much more...."
  I embarked on a plan to enrich my own life, as Luise said, 'we were someone before we became mothers'.
   I asked for help at this site to find a good place to become a penpal to soldiers. From the replies I got, I chose one, was accepted, and although I haven't gotten any replies, I have written over 20 letters to soldiers, and thank-you letters to veterens in the past month. So I am again, doing volunteer work, which I miss, but cannot do what I used to because of physical limitations.
This site has changed the life I would have had for the past 6 months! I am not saying I am not fragile at times. I've come to read on occaission and realized I was not strong enuf those days to read about sadness. But generally, I am in a good place most all due to the support, and suggestions I heard here.
Many a time i was given suggestions about perhaps I was not seeing something clearly, not looking at my daughter's point of view, or just plain was being stubborn. But it was done with finess and clearly with undersatanding and care. I Never felt attacked. I have read a few posts that have been kind of attacking the newbie, and wondered why. If that had happened to me, I surely would not have been back, so I am grateful to all you wonderfully caring and compassionate ladies who posted to me, and about me, and the careful way in which you did it, even when I needed to be disagreed with...you have changed my life.
  The other day, a chat message popped up from my daughter who hasn't spoken to me since last fall. I almost fell off my chair. I answered & we did 'small talk', until she complained abt her x and something he wouldn't pay for. I offered, and sent a check.  Today I am smiling. She never asked for it, I offered and am glad to send the $ as it's for the grandchild. But funny thing...haven't heard from her since. Gee, maybe that was the reason for the chat connection. Hmmm, and I wonder, without what I've learned from all of you, how much would I be crying today?
  But I am not crying, I am smiling. I got to help my granddaughter. That makes me very happy!
 And Julia, your comment about, 'gee, darn roos....' cracked me up!
many a time I have laughed, smiled and just enjoyed the threads I was reading. Thank you all, Thank you Luise, I'm so sorry you are feeling like you failed us, but it's just not true. I'm sure you were as wonderful and wise of a woman, before you became a moderator...sometimes it's not anything you did or didn't do...sometimes you're dammed if you do, dammed if you don't...and sometimes...well, you know... :)
  Luise I am so sorry about your beloved puppydog. That can hurt as much as a child. I cried almost daily for a year, til it got less and less, about my kitty Jared, my buddy for 14  years. Now for 2 years I have John Michael, my irish kitty - orange stripe with freckles on his nose. But I still miss Jared.  :(
You'll be in my thoughts  & prayers Luise. Thank you again for this site, and what it has done for me.   -Courtney

cadagi101

  • Guest
Re: WWU saved me, pls don't shut down.
« Reply #1 on: April 16, 2011, 04:07:48 AM »
Hi all. I haven't posted in awhile, but I was coming here to read most daily.Then I wasn't even having time to come and read for a few weeks because I am actually getting a life now...mostly all thanks to this site!
   Before Christmas I was a mess, toatally wrapped up in sadness, wasn't even going to festivities...then I found this site. I wasn't alone. That made a difference. Also Luise saying, 'you are looking for logic, but she's not being logical'. That made a big impression on me.
  Tonight reading Julia's posts in Grabbag, I saw:
"WWU has saved me from a life of guilt and blame and has taught me that I am important, believe in myself,  what our adult children think of us is there's to own not mine, and so much more...."
  I embarked on a plan to enrich my own life, as Luise said, 'we were someone before we became mothers'.
   I asked for help at this site to find a good place to become a penpal to soldiers. From the replies I got, I chose one, was accepted, and although I haven't gotten any replies, I have written over 20 letters to soldiers, and thank-you letters to veterens in the past month. So I am again, doing volunteer work, which I miss, but cannot do what I used to because of physical limitations.
This site has changed the life I would have had for the past 6 months! I am not saying I am not fragile at times. I've come to read on occaission and realized I was not strong enuf those days to read about sadness. But generally, I am in a good place most all due to the support, and suggestions I heard here.
Many a time i was given suggestions about perhaps I was not seeing something clearly, not looking at my daughter's point of view, or just plain was being stubborn. But it was done with finess and clearly with undersatanding and care. I Never felt attacked. I have read a few posts that have been kind of attacking the newbie, and wondered why. If that had happened to me, I surely would not have been back, so I am grateful to all you wonderfully caring and compassionate ladies who posted to me, and about me, and the careful way in which you did it, even when I needed to be disagreed with...you have changed my life.
  The other day, a chat message popped up from my daughter who hasn't spoken to me since last fall. I almost fell off my chair. I answered & we did 'small talk', until she complained abt her x and something he wouldn't pay for. I offered, and sent a check.  Today I am smiling. She never asked for it, I offered and am glad to send the $ as it's for the grandchild. But funny thing...haven't heard from her since. Gee, maybe that was the reason for the chat connection. Hmmm, and I wonder, without what I've learned from all of you, how much would I be crying today?
  But I am not crying, I am smiling. I got to help my granddaughter. That makes me very happy!
 And Julia, your comment about, 'gee, darn roos....' cracked me up!
many a time I have laughed, smiled and just enjoyed the threads I was reading. Thank you all, Thank you Luise, I'm so sorry you are feeling like you failed us, but it's just not true. I'm sure you were as wonderful and wise of a woman, before you became a moderator...sometimes it's not anything you did or didn't do...sometimes you're dammed if you do, dammed if you don't...and sometimes...well, you know... :)
  Luise I am so sorry about your beloved puppydog. That can hurt as much as a child. I cried almost daily for a year, til it got less and less, about my kitty Jared, my buddy for 14  years. Now for 2 years I have John Michael, my irish kitty - orange stripe with freckles on his nose. But I still miss Jared.  :(
You'll be in my thoughts  & prayers Luise. Thank you again for this site, and what it has done for me.   -Courtney

A lovely post Courtney, we can't do without our cyber connections

Offline Nana

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Re: WWU saved me, pls don't shut down.
« Reply #2 on: April 16, 2011, 10:41:48 AM »
Thanks Courtney for coming back and putting your input. 

Things were not very good lately here in this forum.  But lets hope that at the end of the day....this can continue being our place....our home...all united and serving the purpose for which this forum was intended. 

Love
Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove:
Shakespeare

courtney

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Re: WWU saved me, pls don't shut down.
« Reply #3 on: April 17, 2011, 07:19:53 AM »
Thanks Julia, Nana...I've been reading alot of posts here in the last 24 hours, catching up, smiling at many of my familiar WW names, ladies who helped me so much, agreeing with most all of the loving supportive words to the new stories I hadn't seen yet...Gee, I know most all of you would agree, whatever might be 'wrong' here at this site...
There's just so much more that's SO right!!!!
Luise, you take all the time you need to grieve, all will be well here.
I'm sure of it.  :)