Author Topic: Personal Messages  (Read 4303 times)

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Offline jill

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Personal Messages
« on: April 15, 2011, 07:46:33 PM »
I don't seem to be able to get into my personal messages any more.  Usually when I am logged in the menu is there, but is not any more.  Is anyone else having a problem?...Jill

Offline Pen

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Re: Personal Messages
« Reply #1 on: April 15, 2011, 08:14:01 PM »
Me neither.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

LaurieS

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Re: Personal Messages
« Reply #2 on: April 15, 2011, 08:16:46 PM »
Modify, delete, Pm... poof

Anyone who wants to contact me can use my im address..  mlslo2@hotmail.com

LaurieS

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Re: Personal Messages
« Reply #3 on: April 15, 2011, 08:18:38 PM »
Matter of fact.. anyone can set up a email address and attach it to your profile here.. you can also post your IM information... just a thought

Offline Forum Moderator

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Re: Personal Messages
« Reply #4 on: April 15, 2011, 08:47:01 PM »
@jill, I sent the following email out to all members earlier today.

    Dear WiseWomenUnite.com Members ~~
   
    I wanted to let you all know that I just fully disabled
the forum's personal messaging (PM) system. With hundreds
of active members and thousands of posts, my mom's (Luise
Volta's) job as Forum Moderator has become substantial.
When member conflicts reach a high level, like they have
lately, she becomes inundated with personal messages and
post moderation duties. Frankly, dealing with all this
drama takes more time and energy than she's willing to
invest. I don't blame her. I trust that removal of the PM
system will help to foster the kind of supportive web
community she envisions. I believe most of you share in
that vision.
   
    Please remember the policies to which you agreed when
you registered at the forum (sorry for the lack of line
breaks; you may need to scroll to the right to read this):
   
    http://wisewomenunite.com/agreement.txt
   
    I can't tell you how many "thank you" emails forum
members have sent to my mom. It's been truly heartwarming
to read them. There's SUCH an opportunity here at WWU to
learn, grow, and provide mutual support.
   
    If you want to participate at WWU -- and my mom and I
hope you do -- you must treat each other with respect. You
can respectfully disagree. I know that the majority of you
conduct yourselves in this manner.
   
    Look...if you find yourself reacting, arguing, taking
sides, or wanting to "be right"...well, you're human like
the rest of us. If you want or need to vent, go for it.
Just don't do so in the forum. Instead, for example, you
can express your thoughts in your private journal or chat
with a trusted friend. Once you feel rebalanced, you're
welcome to come back to WWU and contribute.
   
    I've been SO impressed by the various post threads my
mom has pointed out to me and look forward to supporting
this forum for years to come.
   
    Best Wishes,
    ~~ Kirk VandenBerghe

    http://WiseWomenUnite.com

LaurieS

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Re: Personal Messages
« Reply #5 on: April 15, 2011, 08:55:13 PM »
Hey Kirk... lol.. how are we gonna flirt with you if there are no PM  ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)

Offline Rose799

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Re: Personal Messages
« Reply #6 on: April 15, 2011, 09:34:27 PM »
Thanks for letting us know, Kirk.  And thanks for all you do here & for Luise, as well.  You're a good son.

Enjoy the weekend everyone~

Rose

« Last Edit: June 21, 2011, 05:38:43 AM by Pooh »

cadagi101

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Re: Personal Messages
« Reply #7 on: April 15, 2011, 11:04:49 PM »


I personally think it is a good move.    I have only used PM to see if a member is going OK if they haven't posted for weeks.      I can do that on the forum anyway.  If a member does want to "fight of the board" then they can exchange emails and go for it!!   I hope Luise is doing OK

Offline Pen

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Re: Personal Messages
« Reply #8 on: April 15, 2011, 11:53:00 PM »
Julia, I wish I had your attitude, and perhaps I shall one day, but right now I'm sad it came to this. There are members I would like to stay in touch with and am not comfortable posting an email address on the forum. Those of us who were not involved in the drama, and still don't quite understand all that went on, are being treated as though we've done something wrong. It would have been nice to have a little warning so we could contact people privately regarding email addresses.

I understand why Luise and Kirk had to take such drastic measures, but I wish there had been a way to deal with the few who were involved rather than implicating all of us. There were times when everything was going well here that I would think to myself, "Do not take this site for granted. There will come a day when this resource isn't available. Cherish it while you have it." I'm glad I did.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

cadagi101

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Re: Personal Messages
« Reply #9 on: April 16, 2011, 12:28:51 AM »
Julia, I wish I had your attitude, and perhaps I shall one day, but right now I'm sad it came to this. There are members I would like to stay in touch with and am not comfortable posting an email address on the forum. Those of us who were not involved in the drama, and still don't quite understand all that went on, are being treated as though we've done something wrong. It would have been nice to have a little warning so we could contact people privately regarding email addresses.

I understand why Luise and Kirk had to take such drastic measures, but I wish there had been a way to deal with the few who were involved rather than implicating all of us. There were times when everything was going well here that I would think to myself, "Do not take this site for granted. There will come a day when this resource isn't available. Cherish it while you have it." I'm glad I did.

I wasn't up to speed when I wrote that post Pen.  Pen I agree with you, I was away when all this was going on and have only just caught up where it began.  My comments were a bit flippent and dumb.   I am saddened as well and feel a bond with many WW on this site.     I also don't want to post my email address on the board.    Like you i wasn't involved so would like the chance to get any buddy emails we can.

Offline Forum Moderator

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Re: Personal Messages
« Reply #10 on: April 16, 2011, 12:43:58 AM »
@Laurie - You have my email address, so flirt away!   ;)

@Rose799 - Thanks for your concern re: my mom. Having to put her little Me, Too doggie to sleep was really tough on her, as you all probably know. She has a big heart and deeply bonds. She's strong and will be fine -- it's just a huge adjustment for her.

@Julia - Glad you understand. Yes, those who have each other's emails and want to fight can continue battling in that medium if they like.

@Pen - I'd probably feel the same way. My concern about giving a warning about PMs being disabled was that I didn't want to encourage a flurry of last minute battles.

@All - It's fine if you publicly post your email addresses...and...just know that "spambots" spider many sites (including WWU) to grab email addresses and then add them to their lists.

I'm listening, and as always, so is my mom. My current thought is that I could pick a day next week to turn PMs back on for 24 hours. That way, those of you who have built relationships and want to voluntarily exchange email addresses could do so privately. How does that sound?

cdb

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Re: Personal Messages
« Reply #11 on: April 16, 2011, 12:54:48 AM »
Reading this brought tears to my eyes. This site and your mom have been a lifesaver to me. Even my psychologist tells me this and other online groups keep me connected to people, being I am disabled. I just was going to pm your mom and ask if she knows of any grief online groups. Maybe you know? I appreciate any online site putting safety as a priority as this is online and we need to be safe, not only from arguments, but viruses etc. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you and your mom do for this excellent site and God Bless you both! cdb

cadagi101

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Re: Personal Messages
« Reply #12 on: April 16, 2011, 04:45:21 AM »
@Laurie - You have my email address, so flirt away!   ;)

@Rose799 - Thanks for your concern re: my mom. Having to put her little Me, Too doggie to sleep was really tough on her, as you all probably know. She has a big heart and deeply bonds. She's strong and will be fine -- it's just a huge adjustment for her.

@Julia - Glad you understand. Yes, those who have each other's emails and want to fight can continue battling in that medium if they like.

@Pen - I'd probably feel the same way. My concern about giving a warning about PMs being disabled was that I didn't want to encourage a flurry of last minute battles.

@All - It's fine if you publicly post your email addresses...and...just know that "spambots" spider many sites (including WWU) to grab email addresses and then add them to their lists.

I'm listening, and as always, so is my mom. My current thought is that I could pick a day next week to turn PMs back on for 24 hours. That way, those of you who have built relationships and want to voluntarily exchange email addresses could do so privately. How does that sound?

Kirk, Having read more posts i can see that it is very important to PM each other, those that aren't happy to put emails on eirther still won't do it or will miss the 24hr deadline or reluctantly put it up and regret having done it, imho it may cause anxiety.  Maybe the option to PM luise could be taken off, there are so many members now she can't possibly stay on top and look after herself as well, she doesn't need whingy winey women PM her everyday.   
If we can post to her on the forum, and if she feels fit delete it immediately.
The onus is on us to keep things amicable.   

Also if someone does feel strongly or offended by someones post they can PM each other.     
If the disagreement moves from PM onto the board and is offensive then luise can close the thread.   

Just a suggestion...how can we keep everyone happy???
 

cadagi101

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Re: Personal Messages
« Reply #13 on: April 16, 2011, 05:03:53 AM »
Kirk
what if PM to luise becomes very structured.   
ie:
what is this PM about tick a box...
1. is your complaint about another member
2. is it trivial hogwash
3. do I need to know about this?
4. Are you reporting a member who you think may  have changed there name or wants to cause trouble?

etc.. plenty of options would be suitable i'm sure.
Members can also be made aware that luise won't be responding to the  complaint , it will however be just noted but if more than 3?? or so complaints are recieved  on the same subject about the same poster then it will be investigated and the member may be struck of.....
or luise doesn't see them at all unless more then a certain number come on the same subject  on her PM  so she isn't daily bogged down.     You must be very worried about your mum who is trying so hard to do so much for everyone else.     We have a responsibility to look after her, there has to be a way.

Faithlooksup

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Re: Personal Messages
« Reply #14 on: April 16, 2011, 05:24:16 AM »
Hi Kirk and Luise!!!

I for one can clearly understand why this had to be done.  Situations became out of hand and enough is enough.....

Luise, take one day at a time, take care of yourself...You have given of yourself to so many for years and years~~it is now time to step back and give to yourself.....I have you in my prayers.

Thank You Kirk for letting us know what is taking place.....Please give Luise a Big Hug for me...
Luise go out today and have a nice lunch, go shopping, go and have some fun..... :)

Sending Prayers, Love and HUGS across the miles,  Faith