Author Topic: Conflict on WWU  (Read 2153 times)

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Offline luise.volta

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Conflict on WWU
« on: April 13, 2011, 07:17:01 PM »
Conflict on WWU   

I have had a rash of Personal Messages from upset members. Please know that if you want to leave WWU, you don't need to delete your membership through me. The way to end your association on WWU is to stop posting. And if it is your preference, don't read us or come back.

We all need to remember the admonition to "take what you like and leave the rest." If you don't like a poster, don't read her…and if you don't like a thread, pass on it. You will find that WWU will still hold treasures for you elsewhere. Every one of you is needed.

We have assertive members, silent members, members who are opinionated and outspoken and timid members. We have members with short fuses and some with infinite patience. We even have a few would-be gurus. Many of us can be all outhouse things at one time or another. We come from all walks of life and have diverse backgrounds. What we have in common is the desire to heal old wounds and to help others do the same thing. We have compassion in common, understanding, kindness and empathy.

If on the either hand, you find someone being too graphic, abrupt or crude, let me know. I don't want them here any more than you do and will take the action I deem appropriate. Sometimes my actions serve us and sometimes I miss the mark. Always factor in the human element, please…my best is never going to be perfect. Sending love…a
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

Faithlooksup

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Re: Conflict on WWU
« Reply #1 on: April 14, 2011, 06:15:20 AM »
Luise,  For what ever its worth...I will always LOVE YOU!!!!!  Forever have, forever will.
I cannot possibly count the number of times I have laughed at your "Famous One Liners!"  You are Hope for today and Inspiration for tomorrow.....

WWU is a true awesome forum to help and to try to breathe back life into those whom are hearting deeply with family estrangements etc......And when someone is hurting you do not pour more salt on their open wounds..........

I think of us as a seed in the ground, and with plenty of watering, sunshine and Love we will grow and Blossom into the Beautiful Flower we were meant to be.......

Oh Happy Days~~Lets keep WWU growing into the "Greatest Forum Ever!!!"

Love and HUGS to all...Faith :)

BrokenHope

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Re: Conflict on WWU
« Reply #2 on: April 14, 2011, 11:16:17 AM »
Luise,  For what ever its worth...I will always LOVE YOU!!!!!  Forever have, forever will.
I cannot possibly count the number of times I have laughed at your "Famous One Liners!"  You are Hope for today and Inspiration for tomorrow.....

WWU is a true awesome forum to help and to try to breathe back life into those whom are hearting deeply with family estrangements etc......And when someone is hurting you do not pour more salt on their open wounds..........

I think of us as a seed in the ground, and with plenty of watering, sunshine and Love we will grow and Blossom into the Beautiful Flower we were meant to be.......

Oh Happy Days~~Lets keep WWU growing into the "Greatest Forum Ever!!!"

Love and HUGS to all...Faith :)


Well said Faith... And Thank you Luise for being you and being our inspiration
Hugs :)

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Conflict on WWU
« Reply #3 on: April 14, 2011, 11:27:06 AM »
If any of you have an idea of how we can pull ourselves out of an emotional avalanche after it has started on a thread, I would appreciate hearing your suggestions. I can always lock the topic but that leaves everyone feeling thwarted, (to use an old term.) Everyone is left hanging and it becomes unfinished business.

Also, please P.M. me when you feel any sense of "bashing" because that's not what this Web-forum was designed for. We are always going to disagree at times and debate and refute...but...when we leave kindness behind, down we go.
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

holliberri

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Re: Conflict on WWU
« Reply #4 on: April 14, 2011, 11:38:24 AM »
Luise, I think the only way to do it is to modify our own etiquette on here.

1.) No name calling, no belittling anyone, and no talking about someone as if they're not reading our posts.
2.) Remembering that Luise is the moderator, and it's her call as to what stays and what goes.
3.) Most importantly, asking someone what they mean when they say something. This has gotten myself in trouble several times on here. I simply forget to do that. Just asking the question can diffuse further argument and let people use their rational brain instead of their emotional one.

And, I do think that if you are posting about abuse/violence, saying "Sensitive topic" in the subject line might be considerate so no one reads a post that triggers painful memories for them.

All in all, Luise, I think it is up to us. Not you.  I think you do a wonderful job moderating; and I know it must be a big job.

Since the very point of this site is communication; people really need to put their best efforts forth in doing just that, particularly because we're without body language and hand motions. Ask questions and listen first. Then type. I think a lot could be avoided that way.

holliberri

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Re: Conflict on WWU
« Reply #5 on: April 14, 2011, 11:41:09 AM »
Oh, and I forgot to mention.

Aplogies. This is HUGE. A big one.

Not, "I'm sorry you're  offended." That is a non-apology and takes very little responsibility on the part of the transgressor.

But, "I'm sorry; that wasn't my intention." Simple as that.

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Conflict on WWU
« Reply #6 on: April 14, 2011, 11:49:20 AM »
Thank you HB. That's very helpful.

Years ago when I was married to the perfect guy (until he cheated on me)... we used to occasionally have disagreements on the way to work. (He dropped me off at Aetna one his way to Boeing.)

Later in the day he would call and say, "Hi, Honey...I'm so sorry your were bad!" LOL!
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

SunnyDays09

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Re: Conflict on WWU
« Reply #7 on: April 14, 2011, 12:20:02 PM »
Luise,  For what ever its worth...I will always LOVE YOU!!!!!  Forever have, forever will.
I cannot possibly count the number of times I have laughed at your "Famous One Liners!"  You are Hope for today and Inspiration for tomorrow.....

WWU is a true awesome forum to help and to try to breathe back life into those whom are hearting deeply with family estrangements etc......And when someone is hurting you do not pour more salt on their open wounds..........

I think of us as a seed in the ground, and with plenty of watering, sunshine and Love we will grow and Blossom into the Beautiful Flower we were meant to be.......

Oh Happy Days~~Lets keep WWU growing into the "Greatest Forum Ever!!!"

Love and HUGS to all...Faith :)

I sensed someone calling me from here!    ;D

Faithlooksup

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Re: Conflict on WWU
« Reply #8 on: April 14, 2011, 12:47:35 PM »
LOL~~~  sorry HappyDays09 ~~ I was not calling you...I had that song going on thru my head "Oh Happy Days" when I was posting and that is why I added that.....I did not mean to confuse you!!!!!

However Luise I also want to add to this when I have more time later...

But for now sending hugs everyone.....

LaurieS

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Re: Conflict on WWU
« Reply #9 on: April 14, 2011, 02:17:38 PM »
Thank you HB. That's very helpful.

Years ago when I was married to the perfect guy (until he cheated on me)...

They all have at least one flaw :)

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Conflict on WWU
« Reply #10 on: April 14, 2011, 02:44:55 PM »
Well, that was one too many. I have hundreds but that's "different!"  ;)
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

Faithlooksup

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Re: Conflict on WWU
« Reply #11 on: April 14, 2011, 02:53:10 PM »
Hi everyone,    1st off~~Thank You Luise for asking for our input which is appreciated.....Please understand all, that I am not being harsh with my post.....However I am stateing truth from what I have read and heard.......

1)  NO BASHING ALLOWED....Period, its that simple...This is not your forum to bash another member...if you must bash--please get your own forum--or find someone in your family and bash them....Do not bash a hurting member on this forum, it is totally RUDE and uncalled for.

2)  RESPECT.....Please respect other members as you wish to be, what goes around comes around...I realise we do have many personalities on this forum, however RESPECT is one word we should all own and use.....Respecting one another goes a long way.......

3) OPINIONS....This one is always a doozie!!!!  We are all entitled to our opinions.....And that is exactly what they are~~OPINIONS.....Its not written in stone as to who's is right or wrong--it is simply how we feel about something.....If you dont agree with what I stated or with someone's elses post then so be it~~but dont turn around and bash the poster because YOU dont agree with them and I have seen this happen on here more times than I care to count......For you have left that poster/member feeling very uncomfortable~~"Walking On Egg Shells" so to speak...and NO ONE should have to feel that way on this forum..... Ladies, there is a difference between the words "Opinion" and being "Opinionated"~~look them up...

I also agree with Holli regarding apologies...The words "I am Sorry" do go a long way~~as long as they are sincere and Heartfelt......for it is the bigger person whom will apologise--never the little one..

When I come on this Forum, I feel as if I am walking into Luise's home for this is her Forum...I come in with respect and common courtesy for all...and that is how it should be for everyone...

Let us all remember why we are all here..to Help one another not hinder, to share not shame, to encourage not edge out.....For no one is better than the other.....

Thank You Luise for putting up with us thru thick and thin...

Sending Love and HUgs to all,  Faith

LaurieS

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Re: Conflict on WWU
« Reply #12 on: April 14, 2011, 03:23:39 PM »
oh oh I've got one... no more  ::) of those hundreds of  :-* :-X every time a sentence is written  >:( ;D  If you have a qualm stand on your own to state it ;) :'( and not attach it to someone else's like a fly-by shooting.  It's also not respectful to change your identity in an attempt to fool others

And as we all know and Michael Jackson said it so well... Start with the Man in the Mirror. 

Offline Rose799

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Re: Conflict on WWU
« Reply #13 on: April 14, 2011, 03:27:53 PM »
When I come on this Forum, I feel as if I am walking into Luise's home for this is her Forum...I come in with respect and common courtesy for all...and that is how it should be for everyone...

This pretty well sums it up for me~  Thanks Faith...

holliberri

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Re: Conflict on WWU
« Reply #14 on: April 14, 2011, 04:09:17 PM »
Luise, I realize I could have worded my post a lot better. I put my suggestions down as demands or requirements and they should not have been. That wasn't my intention. It is at your disposal to do as you see fit. I am a big girl and I can handle my own feelings should I perceive something is out of line.

I hope no one is setting up fictitious accounts. I would be hurt if someone would abuse the forum, as I felt we were all women of integrity. That seems that it would do more harm than good.