Author Topic: Help with moody dm...  (Read 1663 times)

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Offline Rose799

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Help with moody dm...
« on: March 23, 2011, 10:07:45 AM »
I'm at dm's home, helping out after total knee replacement.  While her knee has been improving quite well, she is the worst patient I have ever seen.  She's 83, extremely moody & rants over every little thing.  She has started refusing to do the exercises & icing it as the therapist recommended.  I don't mind arguing with her, nor prodding if need be, except that my 85 year old sf stops me & humors her.  The poor man sits & takes her daily rantings. She says things that no man should have to take.  I have honestly though she was angry enough to hit me over things as simple as asking her to sit down so I could put the ice pack on her knee.  I have threatened to tell her doctor how she's acting, that calmed her down for all of 5 minutes.  I'll be here two weeks & was ready to leave on day 1.  Nothing I do pleases her.  I called the doctor yesterday to ask that she be prescribed something different than the 10 mg of Vicodin she was prescribed.  Any advice you can offer would be greatly appreciated.  I can't use her computer unless given permission, am told when to get up & when to go to bed.  Thus far, I still have restroom privileges.  : )  I will check back when possible.  Thanks in advance...

Rose

LaurieS

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Re: Help with moody dm...
« Reply #1 on: March 23, 2011, 10:21:51 AM »
Does she have a problem with depression?  We noticed my mil doing some of the same things towards my fil after she was diagnosed with diabetes and neuropathy (I believe this is what it's called)  The doctor explained that this was due in part with anger over the medical conditions etc.. did not help us want to kill her any less.. an adjustment of meds helped considerably.  (My meds not hers :) )

Offline lancaster lady

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Re: Help with moody dm...
« Reply #2 on: March 23, 2011, 11:14:17 AM »
hi Rose ,

Found this site very compassionate , hope it helps .

http://ezinearticles.com/?Care-For-Elderly-Parents&id=952635

Patience for the patient , hard to do at times but worth it for your Mom .


cadagi101

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Re: Help with moody dm...
« Reply #3 on: March 23, 2011, 02:52:51 PM »
an adjustment of meds helped considerably.  (My meds not hers :) )

that is funny Laurie, really funny it made me laugh!! :D

Offline Rose799

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Re: Help with moody dm...
« Reply #4 on: March 24, 2011, 12:40:38 AM »
Your post made me laugh, Laurie, & yours made me cry, LL.  I don't really think dm is depressed, but I've discussed with her dr's about side effects of her medications.  She is frustrated however, as she's never been one who could sit for long.  Compassion is vital, LL, thanks for the reminder...   

Rose


L

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Re: Help with moody dm...
« Reply #5 on: March 24, 2011, 03:18:36 PM »
Sounds rough.  Some people are not good patients and she is old and doesn't feel good so she is cranky.  Don't know what to say but I wish I had my mom and dad back even if they were cranky to me.  (they both passed away within the last two years) So, just be as nice as you possibly can.  Take a walk outside if you can possibly get out if you feel you are about to "lose it". 

Offline Pen

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Re: Help with moody dm...
« Reply #6 on: March 24, 2011, 05:47:44 PM »
Rose799, I'm thinking of you. When my mom was ill she said and did some very hurtful things. I knew she wasn't herself but it was painful nonetheless. It was hard to deal with sometimes. I do hope you get some free time occasionally. It would be nice if you could somehow get a computer of your own. If there's a computer repair class anywhere near you they might have something you could acquire inexpensively, or maybe a friend has an older laptop you could borrow?
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Offline Pooh

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Re: Help with moody dm...
« Reply #7 on: March 25, 2011, 09:30:28 AM »
Kudos to you Rose.  It is very hard to be treated badly when you are helping someone.  But like the wonderful ladies here already said, try to take it in stride and not personally (easier said than done...I know).  She is probably extremely frustrated with her situation and unfortunately, taking it out on the people that love her. 

Hang in there, deep breaths and hold your ground.  It's for her own good, just like when we had to do it when punishing our children.  Wasn't fun, but necessary.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline Rose799

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Re: Help with moody dm...
« Reply #8 on: March 25, 2011, 04:56:10 PM »
Thanks everyone...  The situation has improved, I don't know if the meds played any role but the doctor changed prescriptions.  Dm has made considerable progress with her knee, now that she's decided to do the exercises necessary.  I believe we're heading down the right track at least.  One more week to go...  I think I can, I think I can...   : )

LaurieS

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Re: Help with moody dm...
« Reply #9 on: March 25, 2011, 08:45:29 PM »
and obviously she allowed you to use the computer again.. so you can keep your sanity by checking in.

Hope

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Re: Help with moody dm...
« Reply #10 on: March 26, 2011, 05:18:45 AM »
Rose,
What a wonderful daughter you are!  And you can always remember that you did this for your dm.  You should feel good about yourself!  Sorry that your dm hasn't been treating you respectfully, but as the other ladies mentioned, much of her crankiness is probably due to the pain and unhappiness of  her present situation.  Is she typically loving to you in normal circumstances?
It will be over soon.  Deep breaths.
Hugs, Hope

Offline Rose799

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Re: Help with moody dm...
« Reply #11 on: March 27, 2011, 10:42:50 PM »
There haven't been any more confrontations with dm since the dr. changed her meds.  I don't think they were controlling her pain well either because she's much more willing now to do the exercises, etc.  She gets frustrated at all the things she'd like to do but can't.  But anyone would.  Dm has had her moments in the past, but no where near what I saw last week.  Considering all she's been through, I may have thrown a few hissy fits myself.  And yes, Laurie, I have computer privileges again, after I've finished all my chores.  : )

LaurieS

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Re: Help with moody dm...
« Reply #12 on: March 27, 2011, 10:47:34 PM »
We are glad to see that you're getting those chores taken care of .. we'd miss you on the playground if you didn't :)