Author Topic: Perceptions  (Read 2604 times)

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Offline Pooh

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Perceptions
« on: March 04, 2011, 10:41:37 AM »
We talk about how everyone has different perceptions of the same thing here all the time.  I thought I would share with you guys what has been happening at my house the last couple of days....because it has become quite comical to me.

My DH and I both graduated the same year (different schools).  So this year is both of our 25th reunions.  He attended a private school so their graduating class is only around 75 people.  So their school does a reunion weekend, where anyone that ever attended that school has big events to go to, and then each graduating class breaks off on Saturday night to have their own little event.  Someone from his class created a FB page about 4 months ago and has been trying to contact everyone and organize their event.  My DH has helped with it, getting the place for them and some other stuff.  With him coming from a very small town, everyone was very close, and many have remained close over the years.  But people have scattered.  I have been really impressed with how many they got in contact with and are coming in.  Last night, the count was at 53 of the 75.  And they have all been having a good time on the FB page talking about old times.

So the organizer posts two days ago, "Anyone that has pictures from our school years, please post them or email them to me to post."  So people started posting them...and having a good time looking back at their school years and how young and goofy they all look.  So yesterday morning, I asked my DH (who loves pictures), "I know you have to have some because you love pictures and your Father was a photographer."  He said he did have a bunch in a box in the closet.  So he got them out and was going through them last night.  He had this really small pile on the bed of maybe 10 pictures and then this really huge pile, turned upside down.  I asked why those were turned over and he kind of just grinned at me and said, "Well...ummm...those have me with girlfriends and my Ex-wife in most of them."  So I started laughing and said, "So?"  He said, "I wasn't going to post any of those."  I started laughing again and told him, "I promise.  It does not bother me.  You need to post them because they have many of your classmates in them.  I know you were married for 17 years and that you guys were high school sweethearts.  I know the story and I know she is part of your past.  If we started going through mine, my Ex would be in most of mine too because we started dating in High School.  Your classmates all know that you have remarried.  I promise, it does not bother me....post them."

So he posted several of them last night before we went to bed.  He picked the ones that had his Ex in them, but other people as well.  Oh my gosh!  This morning and all today, he has received numerous emails from the women in his class telling him that he better get those down before I see them.  And that I would be soooo mad when I saw what he did....blah...blah...blah.  Even a couple of guys have sent him emails telling him that their wives would kill them!  He text me and told me what was going on and said, "Man...I'm catching crap over this.  I don't know whether to put a big disclaimer on there saying my wife told me to, or take them down?"  I started laughing and said "Don't do either one.  Let's just keep watching!"

So part of me is finding amusement in the fact that so many people just automatically assumed I would be angry and didn't know about it.  And then part of me is laughing that people would even think to send him emails telling him he shouldn't have done it.  But then I realized how many women have commented on the situation, and I realized I guess I am in the minority of women that is not jealous of his past?  And yes, it all has to do with how the situation is handled.  I wouldn't want to walk in and find him with his Ex's pictures out and posted around the house, or on his FB just for him, etc.  And the fact he wasn't going to do it until I talked him into it...Lol.  And I guess it's because I am totally secure of our relationship.  I am just finding is mostly immensely funny!

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Perceptions
« Reply #1 on: March 04, 2011, 11:13:54 AM »
Very interesting. A lesson in "smallness" it seems to me. And a great compliment to you!

My ex and the woman he dumped me for are coming to my birthday party a week from tomorrow. I invited them.  :)
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

Offline Pooh

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Re: Perceptions
« Reply #2 on: March 04, 2011, 11:31:05 AM »
We will be at the reunion together too Luise.  Her new DH graduated with them as well and they are coming.  And at least 15 of his classmates are on my page and have been for two years.  They sent me invites after we got married, and I have a good time with them.  Been to dinner and to several of their houses.  I guess they think they are protecting me...but dang it's funny.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

holliberri

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Re: Perceptions
« Reply #3 on: March 04, 2011, 11:41:49 AM »
Part of my acceptance of my past was keeping photos of everyone in it. I can't change the past, and it did help shape who I am. I look back on all of that with appreciation now...and I have some fodder for our 10-year reunion. I can't believe everyone was upset about that...it had nothing to do with them! LOL.

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Perceptions
« Reply #4 on: March 04, 2011, 11:57:01 AM »
Big  ;D ;D ;Ds, HB. The longer you live the more complex your story (unless you choose to hide from life) and that's what it becomes...entertainment!  ;)
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

Offline Pooh

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Re: Perceptions
« Reply #5 on: March 04, 2011, 12:09:30 PM »
Part of my acceptance of my past was keeping photos of everyone in it. I can't change the past, and it did help shape who I am. I look back on all of that with appreciation now...and I have some fodder for our 10-year reunion. I can't believe everyone was upset about that...it had nothing to do with them! LOL.

I know right!  That part cracks me up because I don't know if they think they are protecting me, saving him...or just being dang nosey! 

I have to admit, during my divorce as I was going through items, I really, really wanted to shred all my pics with my Ex.  I wanted to make a burn pile out of my wedding photos.  But I didn't because I kept thinking that some day, my sons might like to have them because we are their parents.  And later, after I was done hurting, I was glad I didn't And like you said, I look back on them now as helping me become who I am today.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

LaurieS

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Re: Perceptions
« Reply #6 on: March 04, 2011, 12:28:39 PM »
I like to look back at old photos because I really had a figure then.

Offline Pooh

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Re: Perceptions
« Reply #7 on: March 04, 2011, 12:33:06 PM »
Not me, I look anorexic and had so much eyeliner on, I look like a raccoon on meth.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

holliberri

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Re: Perceptions
« Reply #8 on: March 04, 2011, 12:33:57 PM »
I like to look back at old photos because I really had a figure then.

Truth. This 40 lbs of pre-pregnancy weight (yes, I said pre-pregnancy...must really be post-marriage weight) has me quite nostalgic of high school and boot camp!

LaurieS

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Re: Perceptions
« Reply #9 on: March 04, 2011, 12:49:28 PM »
Not me, I look anorexic and had so much eyeliner on, I look like a raccoon on meth.
Pooh I think that was the look we were striving for :)

overwhelmed123

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Re: Perceptions
« Reply #10 on: March 04, 2011, 02:38:42 PM »
Good for you for breaking the mold of the "insecure" woman.  :)  It would be hard for me to have done the same thing that you did.  Of course, I think my H has already gotten rid of all the pictures of his ex, and I think that was long before I came around.  Though I must say, had he had an ex who was a little bit nicer and wasn't a complete wench, I probably wouldn't care.  Past is past.  There's a reason you're his future! ;)

I'm so glad you're my adopted MIL, pooh!  You're such a good role model!

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Perceptions
« Reply #11 on: March 04, 2011, 03:37:06 PM »
Half of my life I was too slim and the other half I have been/am too fat. I wish I'd had my picture taken the day i crossed over!

A raccoon on meth? That's pretty graphic!
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

Offline Pooh

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Re: Perceptions
« Reply #12 on: March 07, 2011, 06:13:51 AM »
That's what I see when I look at those old photos of me Luise!  I am so bony looking that I look sick, and my eyeliner was drawn all the way around my eyes and THICK.

Laurie is right...that was what we all did, but to look back now...it's the WHAT WERE WE THINKING!
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Faithlooksup

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Re: Perceptions
« Reply #13 on: March 07, 2011, 06:34:34 AM »
Good Grief, I even have a picture of when I used to rat my hair.~~horrible. :-[

Offline Pen

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Re: Perceptions
« Reply #14 on: March 07, 2011, 06:57:01 AM »
http://myparentswereawesome.tumblr.com/

I know I've posted the link to "My Parents Were Awesome" before. It fits the thread, so I'm posting it again. Photos of cool parents from decades past. Whatever fashion faux pas we made, someone else did the more extreme version, I'm sure.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb