Author Topic: Being a landlord to my son and his fiance  (Read 2778 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

MotherOf3

  • Guest
Being a landlord to my son and his fiance
« on: February 22, 2011, 09:52:34 AM »
For good or bad, my son and his fiance are moving into a rental house that I just bought.  They are paying what my mortgage payment is so I am losing out on about $300 per month that I could normally charge for rent.  I'm not absolutely happy about that but, it is my decision.  I figure that at least it's someone I know in the house, it won't be trashed, I won't have to pay a property management fee of 10% of the rent, etc.  He's also a journeyman carpenter and can take care of some small repairs and maintenance.  I could use that extra income per month to replace my 25% down payment but, it helps them out too.

He's been talking about doing some things at the house that I don't want done.  It was built in 1940 and has some quirky, but charming, things like a telephone niche, old decorative heating grates (not used because it has new central heat and air), and he wants to get rid of them.  I could hear the letdown in his voice when I said 'no'.  Then his fiance posted on Facebook that she found a stay black lab and that if she couldn't find the owners she would keep him.  They aready have two tiny dogs.  I texted my son, "No big dogs." and he said OK.  I don't want the yard torn up or the original hardwood floors eithers.

I don't want this situation to go south on me!  I know that I need to stay out of anything going on at the house that isn't any of my business, any more than if they weren't related to me.  I need him to also see that just because he is my son that he can't do whatever he wants there.  It's not personal if I say NO to something.  I wouldn't let any other tenant do it either.

Keeping my fingers crossed that it works out well for all of us.  I bought this house to retire in, hopeful retiring early at age 55 in 8 more years, so I DO have quite a stake in what happens to it.  Not like it's just a rental that doesn't affect me very much.

Offline Pooh

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5442
    • View Profile
Re: Being a landlord to my son and his fiance
« Reply #1 on: February 22, 2011, 10:06:32 AM »
I think you are doing a nice thing and I hope it doesn't go south on you either.  Did you sit down with them and discuss what was acceptable and what wasn't before agreeing to let them move in?
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

MotherOf3

  • Guest
Re: Being a landlord to my son and his fiance
« Reply #2 on: February 22, 2011, 10:16:58 AM »
It IS a nice thing to do.  :P  The payments are only $650 per month, couldn't even rent a small apartment for that, so they are getting a great deal.

No, we haven't sat down and gone over specific things.  I do have a rental agreement that I printed from the net for them to sign.  I told him that this isn't a "project house".  I don't want him doing a bunch of little unnecessary things, jobs that linger on, things that aren't finished.  It is totally move-in ready, all new paint, refinished floors, new carpet, ALL new appliances, granite counters, all new bathroom tile and fixtures, etc.  Everything is just fine how it is, don't mess with it!!  ;D

No, I don't want the siding taken off to original.  No, I don't want the bushes all cut back.  No, I don't want the garage door replaced (they are like barn doors that swing out).  I've told him all this too.

I think we do need to sit down and make sure we're all clear on this.

holliberri

  • Guest
Re: Being a landlord to my son and his fiance
« Reply #3 on: February 22, 2011, 10:19:40 AM »
I think you're doing a very nice thing Motherof3.

I think it's okay if he's disappointed he can't do just whatever he wants with the house. I think it's part of being a tenant, and when he's living in your rental/future home, that is what he is. He probably wouldn't have asked a landlord at all if he could do those things, b/c the answer would have naturally been no. Even if it was just a rental, you'd have a say so.

It's not your problem (as the landlord) to be concerned about his disappointment. It is what it is. You're doing them a huge favor, and the home needs to be to your liking. He's entitled to be disappointed, just not entitled to do what he wants with the house.  :P

Maybe this dog issue and the maintenance issue are just a healthy part of establishing some ground rules for what can and can't be done in the house.  Sitting down and spelling it out can help, but if your DS is that handy, he's likely also imaginative, which means you might not think of establishing rules for everything he comes up with.

Good luck! I think you're doing a remarkable thing!

MotherOf3

  • Guest
Re: Being a landlord to my son and his fiance
« Reply #4 on: February 22, 2011, 11:03:12 AM »
Thanks for the reality check that I am not responsible for managing his disappointment.  Just as a mother I don't LIKE to say no but, there's times when you need to.

If this was a project house then I would be thrilled to have him there making improvements. I've actually thought about buying another one like many I looked at that needed work that I didn't want to deal with.  Let him move in there, do the repairs, and then share in any profits when the time comes.  I'm still thinking about that...

Offline Pooh

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5442
    • View Profile
Re: Being a landlord to my son and his fiance
« Reply #5 on: February 22, 2011, 11:13:15 AM »
I think he is probably thinking that either A) It's ok, because it's my Mom, or B) I would be helping her out and making improvements (in his head)...lol.  That's why I asked if this had been covered prior.  I do think you need to sit down and spell out as much as possible, so there is no misunderstandings later.   

But I also think you have to realize that if you were not letting them live in it, and were renting it, you would run into these same problems with tenants.  Tenants can ruin a property quickly.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline luise.volta

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8839
  • Luise Volta
    • View Profile
    • Wise Women Unite
Re: Being a landlord to my son and his fiance
« Reply #6 on: February 22, 2011, 11:21:25 AM »
This wouldn't work for me because it would just be one thing after another and for me it would eventually strain the relationship or do serious damage. If you haven't signed a contract regarding what they can and can't do, I think that needs to be done. You need a damage deposit, and regularly scheduled inspections. Also what would bring about eviction. It's a business proposition, not matter who is related to whom or how good a deal they are getting. Sending love...
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

MotherOf3

  • Guest
Re: Being a landlord to my son and his fiance
« Reply #7 on: February 22, 2011, 11:36:44 AM »
I will sit down with him and go over my expectations and his.  He is a great kid, very giving, and I know he would want to do things that he thinks would help me.  If he doesn't know that I wouldn't like it then, that's on me.

I have a rental agreement to be signed so it will be in writing.  I also told him that since I am taking a cut on income that if he spends anything on the house to give me the receipts so that I can write off repairs and maintenance.

Since it is an investment the bank required a rental income analysis with the appraisal.  The comps are $1100 per month but, after figuring up $110 per month for property management (It's an hour away from me and I don't want to deal with tenants), the taxes on income, potential damage, etc.  I think it all comes out in the wash and that we're both benefiting.  I can still write off the payments, insurance, taxes, etc.

Offline Pooh

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5442
    • View Profile
Re: Being a landlord to my son and his fiance
« Reply #8 on: February 22, 2011, 11:48:56 AM »
Sounds like you have a handle on it.  I truly hope it doesn't cause a strain on either of you.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline Pen

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4398
    • View Profile
Re: Being a landlord to my son and his fiance
« Reply #9 on: February 22, 2011, 02:39:31 PM »
A rental agreement is definitely needed! I'd also put in a clause regarding damage to your yard, dog poo being left out, etc. A friend charges her renter a certain amount per day for dog poo that isn't picked up. She's up to over $1500 now! When the renter moves out he'll be shocked that he doesn't get back his cleaning deposit due to poo.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Offline luise.volta

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8839
  • Luise Volta
    • View Profile
    • Wise Women Unite
Re: Being a landlord to my son and his fiance
« Reply #10 on: February 22, 2011, 05:10:52 PM »
My gosh, you would have to daily poo-patrol!
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

Offline Pen

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4398
    • View Profile
Re: Being a landlord to my son and his fiance
« Reply #11 on: February 22, 2011, 07:44:29 PM »
Yeah, she figures it's an easy way to make money... :P
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Offline luise.volta

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8839
  • Luise Volta
    • View Profile
    • Wise Women Unite
Re: Being a landlord to my son and his fiance
« Reply #12 on: February 22, 2011, 07:51:46 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

MotherOf3

  • Guest
Re: Being a landlord to my son and his fiance
« Reply #13 on: February 22, 2011, 10:41:48 PM »
 ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D

Pooh Patrol!  I live an hour away from the rental house so that would be at least a part-time job for me to do each day.  The back yard better be as clean and as nice as it is now when I move in! 

Was on the phone with him this evening trying to find a store with a black refridgerator in stock to match the other new appliances.   Every place we looked couldn't get one in until the second week of March even if it's picked up at the store and not delivered.  Maybe because it is black is why it isn't in stock, don't know.

AnonymousDIL

  • Guest
Re: Being a landlord to my son and his fiance
« Reply #14 on: February 24, 2011, 08:10:12 AM »
MotherOf3,

I hope this is going well for you. I smell trouble brewing.  :(

It stinks when the "nice" things we do are turned around and used against us. Just a "warning" your DS has probably already sold you out on the dog thing and your FDIL thinks you are well, a , you know what.  :-[

Definitely get that rental agreement signed! It is never good to do business with friends or relatives.

They sound "young." How young are they? No savings that they could actually purchase a house of their own? This is such a great time to be buying.

And the house sounds really Awesome! The telephone niche is something that I would just find to be soooo cool even if it isn't "useful" lol